Just came out to four people in a row...

[Guest musicalice]

... all of whom fine. One of whom (female), she's so sweet haha:

"I feel like I'm female inside"

"Oh... OK... sorry? *smile*"

Another one said "yeah my uncle had a sex change" - I'm thinking oh good! He's used to it then... oh dear (the phrase "sex change" should probably have set off alarm bells...). Turns out his AUNT didn't do a very good job about coming out, and left the whole family a little weird about it. My friend was still calling her his uncle... I pressed him, every time he used the male pronoun I just said "She." Then: "Yeah well, he's [sic] still got a penis, so technically"... Whoa, touchy subject for me.

I told him it didn't matter what she had done (and from the sound of it she really did some weird things, it sounds indefensible from his (friend's) point of view), it's nothing to do with her being trans. It's probably the most I've ever told someone off. I didn't get angry, but I felt tears coming up and when I looked at him I saw he could see it was a big thing for me. "When you're on the street, and people look at you and call you names, they don't understand, and all we ask for is for you to accept us and call us by a different name. This is hard" - I said something like that. I apologised afterward for snapping at him, about an hour later, but he said it was fine. Hopefully he'll have a think about it, and I'll go and talk to him again tomorrow and make sure he's ok with it. I may bring up the issue of his aunt to make sure it's in the open.

As with everyone else I've told, I made it clear he could come and ask me anything he wanted. Just because his aunt perhaps didn't do it so well doesn't mean I'm going to make a hash of it. I need to do this properly.

Whew... four in a night, just before bedtime... I just had to though. I've left it too long, because through most of term I was ok. But now it's all getting the better of me, my limbs weighing down, and I could barely do anything, and the whole fertility thing (see other posts) has made it a lot worse.

So yes... a few more to tell. Some have already left for christmas - i need to decide what to do about them. I don't think I can wait until new year, so I may have to call them or skype them. Then email for acquaintances... then it's done. Out socially. Relief...

[Guest John Chiv]

Alice,

You should be very proud of the step you are taking and in standing your ground with your friend about his aunt. Very mature of you to see that she is an exception and had other issues and this is his chance to see a positive example of a woman.

The anatomy part, sometimes they just don't get that surgery does not equal who we are. And your educating him is good.

John

[Guest musicalice]

Thanks John He just texted me to apologise for the slight kerfuffle we had. He realises it's the only association he's got. "Sorry I had that awful rant... Sure I can change. Hope we're still good and doesn't change anything?" I told him it was fine - coz it is, it's perfectly understandable - and that he should come talk to me when he's had time to digest it and we'll discuss it properly. He's a good guy really

[Guest John Chiv]

He does sound like a great friend

[Guest Robin Winter]

Wow, I wish I had your courage. I came out to four people all year!

[Michelle 2010]

It is liberating isn't it?

Huggs

Michelle

[Guest Risu]

I am glad things turned out okay for you Alice. I hope the rest of your friends are equally accepting and all goes well.

[JenniferB]

It takes courage to out yourself. You never know what to expect. I am proud of you.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny