It Felt Like The Hugest Deal In The World To Get The Letter.....

[Guest Evan_J]

I originally anticipated that starting T would be the biggest transition day for me -and it was- but somehow getting my official start date for RLT and the letter for anyone asking questions about why I'm in a mens room or whatever was really huge to me. Was anybody else "on top of the world" about it?

[Guest jantonio]

Congrats Evan! The first day I started "T" I got to the endo's office like 2 hours ahead of schedule.

That's how bad I wanted it.

[Guest Tayler]

Lol yes! the T letter then my first shot which was actually this week. The mens room thing wasn't such a big deal. Before I was even seeing the doctor I would have to catch myself because I would go in there first. Now that I'm on T I haven't really thought about the rest room thing I figure when I'm out I'll go in to what feels right I guess.

[Guest skyy]

Q: why are you in the men's/women's bathroom?

A: same reason you are.

i forgot who came up with that, but i thought it was a funny way of telling the truth.

[Guest CharliTo]

Q: why are you in the men's/women's bathroom?

A: same reason you are.

i forgot who came up with that, but i thought it was a funny way of telling the truth.

:lol:

[Guest YaManShane]

Joke from skyy was halarious. people make too much of a deal about this bathroom mess. do ya thing and be done. dont worry bout who i am or why am i in the bathroom.

As with the letter. I never got a letter. My psych just spoke to my medical doctor after my first consultation with him giving him the ok to start me. but this was after like 3 months though.

none of them didnt really stress to me nothing about the RLT. I guess I have to pick a date of my own. I mean, I already use Shane with new people I meet. I dont use mens bathrooms though yet (too scared). I go to school and don't want to be recognized by classmates. I'll have to come up with a plan n stuff and start soon.

[Guest Evan_J]

As with the letter. I never got a letter. My psych just spoke to my medical doctor after my first consultation with him giving him the ok to start me. but this was after like 3 months though.

none of them didnt really stress to me nothing about the RLT. I guess I have to pick a date of my own. I mean, I already use Shane with new people I meet. I dont use mens bathrooms though yet (too scared). I go to school and don't want to be recognized by classmates. I'll have to come up with a plan n stuff and start soon.

Tletters often go directly from the shrink to the physician without ever being given to the person transitioning. I got mine but it was an unusual occurance. Usually its mailed or faxed. And while the standards say a doctor should want one it is truthfully up to the physician as to whether he feels the need for a tangible "letter" or even psychiatric referral at all. Again, those things are up to the physican. Judging by the length of time you described though (3months) the standards of care were likely followed and although you didn't see it some documentation possibly was exchanged between them.

The RLT -Real Life Test- is only (again according to the standards)- only considered to have startted once your legal name change happens and you either work or attend school (a method of gauging you as "living as" chose name publicly) using the name and gender appropriate actions/pronouns. It goes from that point to a minimum of one year year to be considered for bottom surgery (phallo or meta).

[Sally]

It was a little different for me, largely because of my massive fears of getting caught while dressed here in the Republic of Rednecks! My therapist gave me a letter stating that I was a transexual female who was required to present as female for part of my treatment. It makes me feel a lot better - I didn't want to be out , have a flat tire and be arrested by a small town cop, using a 'wearing a disguise in public' law that assumes that it for purpose of commiting a crime! I haven't started hormones or changed my name, but I have my letter - permission to use the Ladies Room!

[Guest Dutchie]

Sally, I do feel for you!

I'm sort of in the same position as you probably have understood from my writings.

I don't have "the letter", but I still transition slowly. When I am not in public functioning (like work) I'm getting more and more feminine in appearance (physically and with what I wear). That reminds me that I need to buy new shoes!

But yes, I do fear the narrow-minded community here (in my country of residence) too. If it wasn't for my loving partner and our children, I would have left and moved to a more accepting country.

I'm looking across the border to get some help from there, it won't be easy, but at least I have a better feeling about doing the right thing.

[Guest Evan_J]

I believe (though I'm sure there's some therapist out there who's gonna go "wha?") that anyone once they are comfortably in gender therapy can ask for a carrying letter -the one that explains why you need to use a particular dressing room or restroom or other gender specific thing. My therapist offered me one you're darn right I took it. a) in case I did have a problem somewhere and b ) because it actually was the first time I felt "validated" by the system -but thats my thing.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Oh My Gosh Evan....I AM SOOoooooooOooOooOOOOOooooooo HAPPY for YOU!!!!!! You sir are the voice of reason often times with a wry twist of lime( sometimes...eh you do make lemonade I just prefer limes<blush>) Absolutely happy for the best news you've ever heard. YOU are 'da mAAAaaaannnnnnn...did I mention your avatar is debonair? Kelly Ann

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Yea Evan - I guess you won't be keeping your letter in a purse like I do?

Yes - GREAT+GREAT+GREAT feeling.

Now if I can only get up the nerve to use the ladies room all the time. I am usually so gender neutral in public I suppose I can go either way. But I avoid public restrooms - I don't want a beating. (live in the deep south - rednecks all over the place)

CONGRATS

[Sally]

The worst thing is that this time of year it's a little cold and the rednecks are hard to spot - they are wearing turtlenecks!

Congrats, Evan and you are really making progress and look so good in your avatar and your chin pic!

Ooops! There I go again!

But come on girls, who wouldn't want a man like Evan? Smooth, intelligent and sensitive - wow! You are going to go far Evan, don't worry about the Real Life Test - you will get a perfect score!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

[Guest My_Genesis]

The worst thing is that this time of year it's a little cold and the rednecks are hard to spot - they are wearing turtlenecks!

Are you living in western TX? According to my roommate, who's from Dallas, and is politically "moderate", the west is more conservative and the east more liberal. Or maybe I just like stereotyping a little too much.

lol, wondering exactly what you meant by Evan will "get a perfect score".

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I am certainly on the verge or RLT, I begin my hormones on June 12 and have slowly been trasitioning here at work. My manager is behind me 100% but I dont think Im just going to show up in blouse and skirt oneday; that being said I am getting really tired of having to andro when we go out.

My wife is not 100% accepting and wants out of the relationship, as fast as she can get out.

Oh well such is life, i go on the way I usually do... flying solo

[Guest Pól]

Are you living in western TX? According to my roommate, who's from Dallas, and is politically "moderate", the west is more conservative and the east more liberal. Or maybe I just like stereotyping a little too much.

lol, wondering exactly what you meant by Evan will "get a perfect score".

...if you have to wonder....ROFL

Easy now Sally, you're his sister, aren't you?

[Sally]

...if you have to wonder....ROFL

Easy now Sally, you're his sister, aren't you?

What a sister can't be proud of her brother?

You have to admit that he is really a great guy, and I'm proud of him, he's almost as nice as I am!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

The worst thing is that this time of year it's a little cold and the rednecks are hard to spot - they are wearing turtlenecks!

Congrats, Evan and you are really making progress and look so good in your avatar and your chin pic!

Ooops! There I go again!

But come on girls, who wouldn't want a man like Evan? Smooth, intelligent and sensitive - wow! You are going to go far Evan, don't worry about the Real Life Test - you will get a perfect score!

Love ya,

Sally

I seem my shrink in July and will be asking for one then, the only reason I cant see him before that is he took some vacation time (hope it wasn't my fault that he needed it) I could ask my therapist but since they share the same clinic I think I will be referred to him for it.

[Guest Evan_J]

...if you have to wonder....ROFL

Easy now Sally, you're his sister, aren't you?

What are you people doing? ROFL Pol, stop "stirring" stuff lol. And old stuff at that.

Joanna, hon, you might want a shiny new thread for your progress Don't let it get buried with this old one.

[Guest Martin]

I starting living full-time shortly BEFORE I saw my gender therapist. Well, I had already seen one, but she was horrid. I was actively looking for another, but I wasn't about to be held up by the lack of qualified therapists in my area. I suppose it didn't "officially" count until the school year started (by which point I had a therapist), but I was nevertheless full time. My legal name hadn't been changed yet when I got T and school hadn't been in session for three months either, but my name change was being processed and I had been living full-time for at least three months. My doctor did require a letter, which my therapist supplied.

So I never had an official start time nor did I ever carry a letter from my therapist. Probably if I had, it would have been a HUGE deal to me. Congrats on receiving yours. May it serve you well.