OMG! I'M DONE! I'M BACK TO SQUARE ONE!

[Guest alexjean1963]

Well my doctors appointment today went absolutely fricken *****, I HATE LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN! My doctor doesn't know crap about how to go forward with my transition, she says I have to do ALL the footwork, which means, I have to find a gender specialist, and a doctor that will do my top surgery. The only close one's that are any good are to far away. I'm on disability, unable to work, there's no way I can pay for the traveling back and forth to Vancouver BC from here where I live, which is a 16 hour drive one way.

The HECK with it all!!!! SCREW LIFE!!!! I wish I would have never come out!!!!!

[JenniferB]

I am sorry this is happening to you Alex. Perhaps it's time to make plans on where you need to go in the future. If you are unable to live in your small town then you might want to set a goal to move where you can find what you need. It may not be right away, but as long as you continue moving in that direction it will happen. Also the journey itself can be rewarding. Imagine how you will fill each time you are a step closer to your goal.

The speed isn't as important as continually moving closer to your goal.

I know you can find your dream if you want it bad enough.

Good Luck!

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

[Carolyn Marie]

Alex, please don't give up hope. There may be resources available for you. If there are no LGBT organizations in town that can help you with such things as travel expenses, research such orgs on line and there may be something in Vancouver. There are on-line gender therapists who don't charge that much. I'm sure some will accept payment in Canadian currency if you ask. Are you on HRT yet? Can your doctor manage at least that much?

Keep trying, hon. Where there is a will there is a way. Hopefully some Canadian members have some good suggestions, too.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[~Nova~]

I can't offer any advice, but I can give you a hug

(((Alex)))

[Guest Jenny C]

Hi Alex, Sorry if you already know of this site for transgender in Vancouver. http://transhealth.vch.ca/

Maybe they can help.

They list a series of foundations : http://www.vch.ca/get_involved/foundations/

Who knows ?

I'm surprised that there is nothing in BC for us 'cause I know in some provinces like Quebec, it's totally free.

Hope you'll keep faith my dear. A door will open, I'm sure.

Sincere hugs,

Jenny

[Bulldog1948]

AJ,

Definately go to this link for British Col. http://transhealth.vch.ca/,, Look under services. They state that they can do stuff by phone,email or in person and it is FREE. This may be the key to your situation. I'm not sure where Smithers is at- but I take it to mean that you're out in the boonies somewhere [ no offense intended]. I also live out from any close DTs. Had to do my own scrounging to find one plus I had to educate my doctor on the whole subject. I gave him info that he could go to to learn more about our medical condition. I know that the task that your dr has asked you to do seems daunting and un-doable- but it isn't that's what this Board is about; helping each other in times of need.

I know that Jenny C had also listed the same link. Canada has free medical treatment don't they.

Take care and regroup,it'll all work out, you just have to try & stay calm while the puzzle pieces are all falling into place.

Mike

[Bulldog1948]

AJ, here's the International lists of Gender therpists that Laura has listed and there are several in the Vancouver BC area. Yeah, that's probably quite a distance from you, but one of them talks via video-confeerancing.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/intgender_therapsits.htm

Mike

[Carolyn Marie]

AJ, here's the International lists of Gender therpists that Laura has listed and there are several in the Vancouver BC area. Yeah, that's probably quite a distance from you, but one of them talks via video-confeerancing.

http://www.lauras-pl..._therapsits.htm

Mike

Nice work, Mike. I had a feeling you would come through. Thanks also to Jenny.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Kael147]

Hey Alex,

That sux, but hey some folks here have put out some great suggestions! I'm having all kinds of issues a few Provinces east of you too, but I believe the coverage is free and I believe that here they pay for travel if required to get the services - ie - for top surgery. I'd be surprised is BC doesn't have similar provisions in their health care system.

I hope it works out dude. Try not to lose hope - I've been going up and down, but I know that there is hope still and that no matter how long it takes, I will get the medical coverage that I need to make myself whole and I'm certain you will too! Keep the faith my friend - you'll find what you need.

Talk more soon,

Kael

[Guest Juniper Blue]

(((((((Alex))))))) Things will work out ... hang in there Alex!

[Guest Masculinity]

Before saying something...may I ask how much money do you get? Or you don't receive money at all?

[Guest ranse]

Alex, please don't give up. I don't know anything about Canada's healthcare system or how you might find health care providers there, but I can tell you that I live in a fairly small town and have had to much of the work myself. Last year at this time, I was feeling like you are now. There are no gender therapists in my area, so I had to look for therapists who dealt either with sex therapy or identity therapy. The sex therapists cost way too much, so I found a therapist who specializes in identity issues and, while she is absolutely fantastic, I had to provide her with a lot of information so that she could learn more about what issues affect the transgender population.

I know talking to a therapist online or on the phone might not be ideal, but it is a step in the right direction. Even better if some of it and some of the surgeries might be covered under Canada's health care system.

Is setting a goal to move within the next year at all realistic? Would a larger area be helpful in other ways, such as finding more acceptance as you transition?

[Guest Jenny C]

Yahoo Alex !!!! ;-) ;-) ;-)

Love,

Jenny

[Guest Jenny C]

I'll tell you what I understand of the thing...

In Canada, the responsibility to give health services is given to provinces... Free of charge ;-) I think that eastern province you're talking about, Dear Alex, was one of the first to do it. As well to get the meds to be free ;-)

I continue... So if someone lives far away from the big centers... And there are no services... It is not the problem of the individual... It is the responsibility of the province to give the services that are covered !!! And they must help you or get you to the place the services are given ;-)

In know, in Quebec, services for SRS are covered (totally free ;-) but I have no idea for BC ... They consider it as a medical condition that needs to be treated ;-) They cover everything that is medical, and some psychological part... But not the aesthetic, for what I understand (Electrolysis and all...). I pray it stays like that forever and becomes the norm everywhere !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my two cents...

Love,

Jenny

[Bulldog1948]

AJ, here's the International lists of Gender therpists that Laura has listed and there are several in the Vancouver BC area. Yeah, that's probably quite a distance from you, but one of them talks via video-confeerancing.

http://www.lauras-pl..._therapsits.htm

Mike

Nice work, Mike. I had a feeling you would come through. Thanks also to Jenny.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Thanks Carolyn. I try the best that I can. Having lived through the agonizing pain of wondering and seeking medical help, I will always try to research and find help for others. Sometimes they accept it and other times they don't. The "don'ts", are usually the ones who are not quite sure of their idenitity yet. They need more time to search themselves to make sure that they are making the right decisions. Others grab the information and go for it.

From what I've heard it may take longer in Canada to get everything medical accomplished- but it's well worth. Since our therpathy and surgery are so expensive, I wish the US had medical coverage that would cover our costs. That may or may not ever happen, who knows. There's good points and bad points to it.

Mike

[Guest alexjean1963]

Thank you everyone so very much,

I just came on for a short visit to see if anyone had any advice and everything I've read, I will try, but right now I'm stuck in a very deep depression because of all this negative reality, so I hope you don't mind that I'm not able to reply to everyone, I just need some time.

... and to MIke, you said, "Sometimes they accept it and other times they don't. The "don'ts", are usually the ones who are not quite sure of their idenitity yet." Well I took that as an insult btw and it hurt, I know exactly who I am, I'm a MAN TRAPPED INSIDE A WOMANS FRICKEN BODY and I live on a fixed income [disability/welfare] in a tiny town up north and I barely have enough money to feed myself. This means NO I DO NOT have money to spare on any of this.

I will be looking into all of your guys info and will try to follow up on all of it, but for now I just need to take some time for myself.

Just so you all know, I already suffer from "Major Depression", "Personality Disorder" and "PTSD" so right now any negativity is not helping, whether it be from doctors, family or friends. My cheque is less than 950 a month, my rent is 490 [for a tiny ugly flee infested apartment], my bills are 132, car insurance 65, 100 for my medications/vitamins and 150 for food [which is not enough to last me a month].

That's all I can think of to tell you all, so you all know my situation now, I'm not wining, I'm not looking for handouts, I'm just simply pointing out that I have NO spare money what so ever to do this right now and to top it off, just found out we also have no resources here to help me.

Anyway, thanks everyone, I really appreciate all your input and help, bless you all.

[Guest Svenna]

Hang in there, Alex...

A few short years ago I was in a similar situation. Small town, disability, PTSD, Bipolar, not enough money for food etc., it was very troubling time, but I worked a slow and steady plan continuously until I made two moves, landing 500 miles from where I started. I have now been on HRT for two months and my life is finally turning around. But it was bleak for a long, long time...I know, I feel your frustration, man!

Hang on, get some sleep, regroup in the morning, but hang on! All is not lost, just not fully found yet...you'll see!

Love and happiness, Svenna

[Bulldog1948]

Thank you everyone so very much,

I just came on for a short visit to see if anyone had any advice and everything I've read, I will try, but right now I'm stuck in a very deep depression because of all this negative reality, so I hope you don't mind that I'm not able to reply to everyone, I just need some time.

... and to MIke, you said, "Sometimes they accept it and other times they don't. The "don'ts", are usually the ones who are not quite sure of their idenitity yet." Well I took that as an insult btw and it hurt, I know exactly who I am, I'm a MAN TRAPPED INSIDE A WOMANS FRICKEN BODY and I live on a fixed income [disability/welfare] in a tiny town up north and I barely have enough money to feed myself. This means NO I DO NOT have money to spare on any of this.

I will be looking into all of your guys info and will try to follow up on all of it, but for now I just need to take some time for myself.

Just so you all know, I already suffer from "Major Depression", "Personality Disorder" and "PTSD" so right now any negativity is not helping, whether it be from doctors, family or friends. My cheque is less than 950 a month, my rent is 490 [for a tiny ugly flee infested apartment], my bills are 132, car insurance 65, 100 for my medications/vitamins and 150 for food [which is not enough to last me a month].

That's all I can think of to tell you all, so you all know my situation now, I'm not wining, I'm not looking for handouts, I'm just simply pointing out that I have NO spare money what so ever to do this right now and to top it off, just found out we also have no resources here to help me.

Anyway, thanks everyone, I really appreciate all your input and help, bless you all.

AJ, I was not speaking of you personally, I have tried to help you by doing research so that maybe you would be able to get the medical help that you need. Please calm yourself down and contact that place in BC that we have sent you. If, you were also reading Jenny's post [ she's from Cananda also] they [ the medical group] have to pay for your transportation to a place to see a GT or whatever you need.

When, I spoke of the "don'ts" I was not referring to you, as you seem to be really trying to seek out medical and other professional help and that's good. I realize that your doctors actions have caused a train wreck to occur. But, now it's time to get the train back on the track. Do not allow your depression and ptsd to rule your life. Yes, I fully do realize of what being on a darn fixed income is all about; it's tuffer than heck to just survive. I know, been there and done that.

So, that's all I have to say. If you are still perturbed with me, then that's your perrogative.

Mike

[Guest Kael147]

Hang in there buddy. I know = easier said than done!

[Guest Jenny C]

Dear Mike,

I did not say I'm from Canada ;-)

I just gave my 2 cents ;-)

But for sure, I can tell you I'm from Venus!!! I just took the wrong shuttle who went by mars before coming down to earth ;-)

Keep on with your good gestures... I think Alex is just overwhelmed for good reasons as he said.

Love,

Jenny

[Bulldog1948]

Dear Mike,

I did not say I'm from Canada ;-)

I just gave my 2 cents ;-)

But for sure, I can tell you I'm from Venus!!! I just took the wrong shuttle who went by mars before coming down to earth ;-)

Keep on with your good gestures... I think Alex is just overwhelmed for good reasons as he said.

Love,

Jenny

Jenny, I apolgize as I must have mis-read your post. I thought that you'd said that you were from another province in Canada. I'm glad that you posted and clarrified my mistake. So, you're from Venus- I'm from Mars [ Aries} lol

Mike

[Guest Jenny C]

Dear Alex !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just found that posting in the post-op section !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yahoo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny

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• Location:Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada
  
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Posted 30 October 2011 - 12:29 PM

A girl friend of mine has informed me that there is a form the BC Govt has which will allow a bc trans to have the surgery, aftercare and transport all at govt expense. i will let this group know the name of the form and how to get it as soon I have the information myself.

Just thought you'd like to know

[Guest Jenny C]

Oups... I was the surgery Forum !!!!!!!! ;-)

Love

Jenny

[Guest alexjean1963]

Hello everyone,

I think I'm finally all cried out, still going to take some time though before I start anymore research, only because I don't want to be disappointed yet again. Thank you so very much, you all make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside-lol-you have all made me feel not so alone, thank you.

@ Svenna-You say you were in the same situation, small town, not enough money for food and mental illnesses and I was wondering if you felt like sharing your story with me on how exactly you got through it all, please and thank you, you can send me a PM if you like.

@ Mike-I am a very caring and loving person that hates confrontation of any kind, I was truly not trying to quarrel with you, I'm just feeling so hurt right now and very sensitive to things being said or written to me. I'm sorry if I said anything to make you think that I was perturbed at you as that is not what I'm trying to portray and I know that all of you are just trying to help. I misunderstood what you were writing because my mind is so closed off to anything that sounds negative right now, so please forgive me.

@ Kael-Thanks man, yes it's easier said than done, but sometimes I need to keep hearing it, thanks for the reminder, I promise I will keep hanging in there.

@ Jenny C-Thank you for understanding what I wrote and explaining how that I'm just overwhelmed, it's true and I am trying my hardest to get back on my feet, I really am everyone, I promise.

-also, what post are you talking about, not quite sure what you are commenting on there?-LOL - AND A BIG THANK YOU for the information on this form the B.C. government has which will allow a B.C. trans to have the surgery, aftercare and transport all at the governments expense, I look forward to receiving more information on this.

Please, everyone, please know that all your comments are much appreciated and I am trying my hardest to keep my cool and trying to just simply make it through to the next day. Giving you all a masculine hand shake with a half a hug.

PS

Oh ya, I don't remember who said it, but that part about moving to a city instead of staying where I am; well that is not going to happen unless I win the lottery-LOL-because right now, this is the cheapest rent [490/mo for a 1 brd apt, hot water & cable incl.] that I can find and that's in this small town, anywhere in any city, rent would be 600/mo and up with nothing incl.

[Guest Jenny C]

Oh !!!! I'm so happy for you ! I'm so excited !!!

If she doesn't answer, I'm sure the TG group in Vancouver will answer you promptly...

I'm so excited !!!

I give you a big warm and long hug and I rest my head on your shoulder making you a nice and soft smile ;-)

With all my heart for your well being,

Jenny