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Ever walk into a room and wonder 'what just happened here'...


Svenna

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Guest Jal Marie
Jal, It made perfect sense to me. Makes me think you're probably left handed. I think the same way. Sara Lee

I use to be ambidextrous with left hand dominate. After the accident I was in I am now unable to write with my left hand and now write only with my right hand even though I lost the use of my right arm and hand for about eight years. The only positive thing that came out of the brain injury I suffered in that same accident is I forgot that I smoked.

Now don't any body go out and hurt your brain to quit smoking!

I had no idea this morning if I was making any sense because my brain was hurting, bad migraine one of the nasty side affects from the accident.

Brought to you by the Duct Tape Council. Because all solutions are temporary anyway. [CHORTLE- I just blew coffee though my nose!] ................... Do I make any sense here? Or did I slip over the edge, I see what's in my head but not sure I'm displaying it in the right words You make PERFECT sense! That is the beauty on here at Laura's - we understand each other pretty well. Lizzy

It is good to know that I was making sense, I couldn't tell if I checked out for lunch or not.

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Guest Guest_SL

Jal,

Whatever ill effects your accident caused, it didn't damage your insight nor your heart in the least. The only advantage I ever found to being left handed was I didn't have to throw hard to get the ball to drop and a lot of hitters would swing too early and too far outside. But that's about the extent.

SL

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  • 1 month later...

Now that the smoke is clearing from my recent meltdown, this thread keeps popping back into my mind...

Johnny's analogy is as apt now as ever...

So glad I could find it, because it feels like Deja Vu...all over AGAIN...lol...

(scratches head)

Maybe it's just me, I dunno...

:/ Svenna

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  • Forum Moderator

I love Johnny's analogy too. Kaleidoscopes work with mirrors and colors. I think what happens here is that we see each other through the mirror of others who are so similar. And just like a mirror the image is actually brighter and crisper than the original. It lets us see ourselves and it blends us together. i'm fairly new here but the magic is working.

Hugs, Charlie

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Guest BeccaC

Welcome to Lake Wobegon {Laura's Playground}, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. (Garrison Keillor).

Home of 14,491 friendly people and a couple of ole grouches.

GRIN

Lizzy

Brought to you by the Duct Tape Council. Because all solutions are temporary anyway.

Lizzy, you forgot to acknowledge the Baling Wire Committee!

I dont know why I missed this thread earlier, but those two responses reminded me of something I have learned from over 20 years being a knuckle dragging aviation wrench turner... When you cant fix the problem with duct tape or a hammer what you have is an electrical problem.... LOL

Hugs

Becca

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Guest *Andrea*

Ever walk into a room and feel completely unwelcome? This thread says this to me. Sadly, I am now concerned about posting any more personal information here.

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Ever walk into a room and feel completely unwelcome? This thread says this to me. Sadly, I am now concerned about posting any more personal information here.

Hi Andrea,

I do agree that not all personal information belongs out in the public.

But, if you don't feel safe sharing your trans-related issues here, that's not fair to you at all. Can you explain at all? If not here, PM me (or any other mod)?

That's not a feeling you should be getting here - and, quite the opposite - Laura's is intended to be a safe. welcoming place.

Take care, honey...

Love, Megan

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Guest *Andrea*

I apologize, I am very touchy these days. It's obviously my own emotions running rampant. I briefly felt offended by the nature of this thread, perhaps being a newer member here is the cause of that, as I am part of the change.

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Hey Andrea, I think this thread was created back a coulple months ago, maybe after some sort of minor drama, can't really remember... It has nothing to do with you or newcomers to the site. Please Please feel totally welcome here, ok?

I think the title is cute. I can remember a few times in life when I entered a room and the talking stopped.... As a thin skinned closeted trans person and future person in recovery I naturally thought the talking stopped because the subject was me, lol! Turns out I'm not nearly as important as I thought I was! Truth is, we're all important here at Laura's as individuals worthy of help, and respect, who can also be of help and be respectful. glad you are here!

Michelle

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  • Forum Moderator

Michelle you can say things so well. Thanks and please don't take offense here Andrea

Hugs, Charlie

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Ever walk into a room and feel completely unwelcome? This thread says this to me. Sadly, I am now concerned about posting any more personal information here.

Hi Andrea,

No, this thread is not about any newcomers nor is it meant to make anyone feel unwelcome.

Hopefully you will feel more welcome here as you get to know everyone. That Svenna chic (who started this thread) has a bit of a warped sense of humor, that's all ;)

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Guest angels wings

Andrea I remember when Svenna posted this it was just a quite time in the forums it was nothin to do with new comers . Please don't feel shut off were here for u . And sorry to hear you are having a hard time if u feel comfortable maybe u can share with us a s a group or pm someone u are no differnt to us . Hey I'm an SO and I feel odd at times cause I'm not physically transitioning but then I relize no iam transitioning mentaly . We're in this all together lovey . We all have somethin to share .(((((( hugs))))

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Guest Tamar

Ever walk into a room and feel completely unwelcome? This thread says this to me. Sadly, I am now concerned about posting any more personal information here.

Hi Andrea,

No, this thread is not about any newcomers nor is it meant to make anyone feel unwelcome.

Hopefully you will feel more welcome here as you get to know everyone. That Svenna chic (who started this thread) has a bit of a warped sense of humor, that's all ;)

Lol. As someone who is very fond of Svenna and has followed her story with great interest,I can testify that this is the absolute truth. :)

Love you guys.

Cassie

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Ever walk into a room and feel completely unwelcome? This thread says this to me. Sadly, I am now concerned about posting any more personal information here.

Hi Andrea,

No, this thread is not about any newcomers nor is it meant to make anyone feel unwelcome.

Hopefully you will feel more welcome here as you get to know everyone. That Svenna chic (who started this thread) has a bit of a warped sense of humor, that's all ;)

Lol. As someone who is very fond of Svenna and has followed her story with great interest,I can testify that this is the absolute truth. :)

Love you guys.

Cassie

Awwww...

Y'all got my number, that much is obvious!!

Andrea, what they say is true. This thread took some new twists after I posted the original text, but MY intentions were to point out that nothing happens in a vacuum. Events out of sight affect group dynamics, and I notice these things. Recently, after a bit of a meltdown of my own, I noticed a change in the posting habits and content and well, something, that made my 'spidey-sense' tingle...

That's why I wondered out loud "What happened here?"...

I've been on LP for about 9 months, though I've been reading here almost a year...

I have posted almost 2000 times, if you include the 1200 or so posts I made before one of my meltdowns cost me my membership. If I've posted 2000 times, I must have read 20,000 posts from others here, especially the most frequent posters, the MODS...

Winds of change blow and it shows in their content, especially. My previous life has made me very, very sensitive to the nuances of language and communication, I know when there is a shift in the way I am being perceived, in how I am being 'handled', especially...

The first time I posted this thread, it wasn't because of anything I did, actually.

This time, I believe in my heart of hearts, it was...somehow...but I did just make an idiot out of myself here and had some angry posts pulled, I guess some MODs have re-evauted how they feel about me as a result of those posts and have withdrawn support and contact, while others feel sorry for me and my situation and have drawn closer and more willing to offer support. I really didn't think I had said anything that would cause such a shift, but I this is what happens, I guess, when you lose your cool...people get turned off...

So, I guess that is it, really.

Nothing occurs in a vacuum. I can't tell you WHAT changed with WHOM, but something DID change...

And I STILL feel it...

And, I don't like it, either...

But, hey, I am just a guest here in someone else's backyard. I get it. I'll behave...

S

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Shouldn'ta popped in here getting ready for work 'cause it makes me want to share, lol! And what I say relates to me and there is no subtle sophisticated messages or judgments being injected into the thread. I bet some here can relate, and others... not so much....

the reality is that I highly identify with the OP's last post. Becuse of closeted trans and other issues, for the majority of my life I felt like an outsider trying to fit in to social situations that sometimes meshed but many many times didn't. I also felt blessed or cursed with the ability to be sensitive to "reading" situations or nuances in peoples behavior. these feelings often made me feel I could or should be responsible for not only my part in communication or social interaction., but since I was sensitive to others perceptions of me, I took responsibility for how they felt or acted towards me as well. As a result I often felt the responsibility of the success or failure of a social interaction was largely on me, and of course that type thinking made me believe that if it wasn't a success, it was my fault... I actually quit smoking pot in my late twenties because the "spidey sense" was so heigthened it probably bordered on clinical paranoia.

One irony I was always faced with was, that i knew that oversensitivity led to even more, and so it was kind of like the ancient symbol of the Snake eating his tail... I would become self consuming and self absorbed even more so... (And, for me, the solution was alcohol in social situations because it took away the degrees of separation between me and the world)

Fast Forward to the last 8 years... One of things I learned in Recovery (cause Alcohol quit working as medicine, lol): one of my biggest problems: was not that I didn't know why... It was that I needed to ask the question why... I was constantly trying to figure things out, fill a void, make adjustments to a generalized state of being not satisfied... What is refered to as "the hole in the soul" that we try to fill with substance, work, gaming.. whatever...

Today I have learned to accept that I am not responsible for others behavior, nor their perceptions of me, and that my problems were based primarily on my not accepting myself. As a result, I have learned to park my acute sense of awareness(lol), and accept the world around me based on its behavior. I have gone full circle and returned to a more childlike acceptance of things as they superficially appear to be.

Ironically, that acceptance of people at face value, and the fact that I was able to shed a lifetime of Defenses designed to keep people from knowing who i really am, has allowed me to develop friendships and relations beyond my dreams. Getting real with others drops their defenses and they get real with me. And, most importantly, I don't define myself by what others think of me today. If we connect, fine... If they are trans phobic, recovery phobic or don't like redheads, its no longer my problem.... A few places are still a work in progress, but largely accomplished.

How to get from where I was to where I am?

Thats another story and this post is already too long...

Hugs

Michelle

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Michelle,

Thank you for your contribution, you always have some very important insights to share...

That said, you never actually addressed my particular concerns...

Sooooo.....

Hey, if anyone wants to tell me what is REALLY going on, I've added my email addy to the contact info section at the bottom of my profile page...

Beat around a bush long enough and the bush will finally reveal itself, I am not paranoid, nor deluded, nor being 'overly sensitive'...

My feelings are based on observable phenomena, my observation skills on more that just 'trans-sensitivity'...

Everybody line up, for the record, and tell me I am WRONG, or email me or PM me and tell me what is really going on...

But, please, don't play me for a fool...

S

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Guest Robin Winter

?

I'd like to add something here...but frankly, I don't know of anything TO add...I'm not aware of any reason anyone would be treating you differently. Certainly we all have concerns that occupy our minds, but that doesn't mean they have anything to do with you ;)

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Guest Maria_B

Well... I don't think it's the most mature thing to do to play the ''If you don't do X I'm not playing with you''.

Svenna, the fact that perceptions can change means you can also change them for the better, and if people are lost on you, then they lose out on you. I'm sure at one point or another, something a friend has said or done has annoyed you, and you've wanted to stay away from them until you've calmed down. They're still your friend though, you still think well of them.

Don't think we're excluding you or ignoring you or attacking you, you're still our friend. Personally, I haven't kept up to date with Laura's in the last week or so, so I have no idea what you have or haven't said, but I do know you're a good hearted lass.

Other people know that too. We don't take you for granted, and we don't just throw you away.

So, please, don't throw us away either. Friendships are a work of art, and mistakes have to be made if you ever want it to be perfect.

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That said, you never actually addressed my particular concerns...

And what I say relates to me and there is no subtle sophisticated messages or judgments being injected into the thread. I bet some here can relate, and others... not so much....

As I stated at the beginning, I was not addressing anyone's concerns, I was saying how much I related in my past, and I am describing my experience exclusively. On the other hand, Maria directly addresses your concerns and I personally believe there is a lot of wisdom in her post, all of which was about friendships. My post, on the other hand was primarily describing my history of disfunctional behavior. and the changes that occurred for me. If I thought I was "stirring the pot" I wouldn't have posted what I did. It was just an early morning free association to an interesting post you made, one I related to... Nothing more. I love the title of the Thread, and many people's posts on it :)

Hugs

Michelle

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Guest Lacey Lynne

Reading your posts shows me someone who has a genuine concern for others and you seem to make an effort to reach out to any and everyone who needs a bit of advice or just a boost in spirit.

I think you'd be a good judge of a change in the tone of the site and honest enough, concerned about the welfare of the site overall, that you'd not be afraid to let someone know.

Sara Lee

Sara,

You are TOO kind in your assessment of me, and my abilities, but I adore that you put such words into print!

Thank you!

I just can't bear to see somebody in pain and not try to help in some way, I just can't...

Your words mean a lot to me. Again, thank you! :)

Love, Svenna

Svenna:

Yeah, I'm exactly like that too!

Wanna see something I believe you'll find really cool? Before writing my HRT letter (and I mean immediately before!), my gender therapists personally sat throughout our entire session and asked me questions for The Myers-Briggs Personality-Type Indicator which is a renowned tests. When she gave me the results at our next session, she floored me. I believe you'll see yourself right in here too. Here you go:

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFJ.html

Anyway, yes, I whole-heartedly concur that the tone and tenor has changed (as is inevitable as the others say above) as you say. For the better? Who is to say?

Very cool thread, Svenna. Thanks for posting! It rocks.

Peace :thumbsup: Lacey

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