Great flight with a hard landing

[Charlize]

Took off as Charlie early Thursday on a trip and conference out of town. Wife knew i was going and how i was going. I kissed her goodbye and had an great day, night and day. Its rare that i've been out for long periods. Got some shopping done where they know my male self and just introduced myself as the twin sister. I went to 3 AA meetings. Noon the shopping day, 7 am and 7pm. Was the only woman in a discussion group with 11 men. I enjoyed meals etc. the conference was good information and i was mamed had doors held and the correct pronoun used etc. On the drive home. bang a blowout. Got off the road and this girl got the doughnut on the rear by herself. A cop stopped a truck behind me and was going to help but he only needed to tell me where the nearest tire store was. Still i was comfortable in myself as a woman. Got home after eating fairly late Friday. Came in the door as Charlie.

"you are a pitiful 64 year old man in a wig" Ouch... "you will cause your grandchildren to be beaten in the school yard" Ouch.

I know that she will always have troubles with this but i'm so grateful for the program of AA which helps me to see the other person and not to run out and drink. I would have been nuts before but just kept my mouth shut. I don't know where i will be at the end of this change in my life. I know it will be hard for others regardless of outcome. I have in the past turned quickly and returned to the closet with my dirty little secret eating me up. Enough.... Therapy yes but not aversion therapy.

Thank you all for being there so i'm not alone in this. I wish she would also get help but so far that has not been in her nature.

This is a great flight, hope i'll be able to come home accepted at some point

Love, Charlie

[Guest]

Hi Charlie,

That was a blowout, wasn't it? Not talking about the tire, of course.

I'm sorry that you must listen to abusive hurtful talk like that. And of course, you know that you don't have to just listen to it. But I'm guessing that you've made a mature decision about your situation.

Anyway, I am so glad for you to have had two healthy days, with good affirmation along the way. That's the takeaway - hold onto that until the next time, and hopefully sooner rather than later!

Love, Megan

[Guest angels wings]

Sounds like you had a great time out and shopping

Sorry to hear your wife say that she really does need to get help . Words hurt and stay deep within the heart . Her been in denial and saying cruel things ain't going to help or change the facts . Yes as wives we hurt but i belive that gives us no right to put our partners down . Ihave struggled since I found out about my partner but never ever would I put her down . Don't let yourself be put down you are who you are . I'm not saying to fight but maybe saying things like ....I really don't appreciate you speaking to me like that . but u are a tough cookie . Stay positive (((hugs)))

[Guest rikkicd64]

Charlie, bless you sweetheart, hang in there, my ex-wife now excepts me and even took me to lunch last week, so there is hope.

Hugs Rikki..

[Charlize]

Thanks Megan,

It did hurt but after days of acceptance i could take it. I know after a 41 year of marriage that it will work out. i've waited and hidden so long. i am a silly old man in a wig. She has that right. Only this old man is changing slowly but...Changing!

Dear Angel,

Thanks for your support, she does need help as i do. I hope i can get us both to therapy. She has MS and is a wheelchair. It doesn't give her the right to be mean but I can take it. I certainly have and will have to endure more pain in this life. She is lashing out because of the pain i'm causing her. I've earned the panties and toe nail polish i'm wearing and hope to be out to more of the world not less.

Rikki, Thanks, we have had dinner together and i've told her all about Charlie. It was so nice to come home after years of changing and hiding. i had thought things were improving... More time, no rush, maybe as an old girl i've had some pressure removed.

[Guest Haileyruso]

Charlie,

I'm glad you had a good time on the trip. Being treated as a woman is wonderful isn't it...I know the feeling! I also know the feeling of being outright rejected by a partner. It's one of the most hurtful things I've had to endure and it sounds like it is the same for you. I don't really have any ideas of how to help, but I do have hugs, so (((hugs)))

-Hailey

[Guest otter-girl]

Hi Charlie. Great flight. Pity about the landing ouches. Keep flying girl!!

((hugs))

Rachel