I don't think I can do this anymore

[Svenna]

i just can't

[Sally]

OK, Svenna.

We have all had that feeling at one time or another but in order for anyone to be able to offer you any sort of help in dealing with it you need to tell us more - if you do not want to do it here in the forums you can PM me or log into chat and go to a private crisis room.

We want to help, please let us.

Love ya,

Sally

[Svenna]

I'll be fine

No worries

[Guest angels wings]

What is going on Svenna u both know u can get through this . Take a breath and come back and talk to us we are here for u . ((((hugs)))

[Guest angels wings]

Svenna pm some one write here or go to chat please

[Guest amanda_s]

Svenna please tell us more whats wrong

Amanda

[Guest Janice Lynn]

i just can't

Yes, you can. It is just that you've got a flood of E and an entirely new

situation and the impact of it all is just overwhelming.

Hold on to Roxy, tight. It gets better.

PM me please!

Really,

Jan

Your pic is pretty!

[Carolyn Marie]

Svenna, update, please? You've got a whole bunch of folks here worried about you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest otter-girl]

Svenna. All ok? Update please.

Rachel

[Guest Ney'ite]

*hugs her friend Svenna tight*

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Swenna is in bit of a funk right now. I suggest PM messages to her. We all get this way sooner or later, it's just part of how we are, unfortunately.

Lizzy

[Svenna]

We are okay

I'll be back later to explain

Thank you ALL for everything!

S

[Guest angels wings]

I'm so glad my friend I stayed up to all hours refreshing my page to see any updates from u both . I was so worried even though the oceans seperate us you and Roxy are close to mine and Cassie's heart . (((((hugs)))))) please give each other a big hug from me and Cass . Love to u both

[Carolyn Marie]

Things change fast in your house, Svenna. I hope things are really all right.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Svenna:

You've got my private e-mail address, and, yes, I received an e-mail which I believe was from you; however, said e-mail is unidentified. I do not open e-mails unless I know who they are from. If you identify yourself in the reference line when you send the e-mail, I'll know it's from you and will open and read it.

If it all gets too heavy, yes, you may call me, by all means.

Everybody:

Look, I know what's going on with Svenna! It's bigtime. However, many of us "cross this bridge" in our transitions. Besides, said occurrence may just be a flare as opposed to genuine. Hence, Svenna need not give up hope. All should be well, ultimately.

Svenna:

You're getting into Blind Faith Country now, girl. Several of us on here have been through it, navigated it and made it. You can too. Really.

When you say you just can't do this anymore, hey: I've said that SOOO many times! Heck, I say it still! However, simply let me tell you this, if I may, okay?

We often say on here that gender dysphoria NEVER goes away and is impossible to supress. Well, naturally, I suppose some people have decided to detransition, reintegrate into their birth gender and leave it lie that way. However, I believe these people are very much the exception rather than the rule.

All I can tell you is that every time I want to bag it, and I've wanted to bag it so many times, I realize I simply CANNOT detransition. If I did, I'd be The Midnight Rambler (Rolling Stones song) meaning I'd be very dangerous to myself and to other people. Mild-mannered Lacey Lynne, ubernerd, is The Frankenstein Monster off of HRT. So! What to do? Proceed!

Svenna, I believe I know you well enough (many of us do on here, the truth be told), that I believe it is safe to say that YOU may believe you can quell and conquer your gender dysphoria; however, that simply is most likely not so. What I'm saying is that "It takes one to recognize one!" Honey, we recognize you! We meaning all of us on here who are transitioning too.

The issue that is going on with you happens to the vast majority of transitioners. The survive it. You can too. Finally, you don't yet know what's really going on in this regard just quite yet, okay. Give this issue some time. Things may settle down satisfactorily. I know several people who've been through what you're going through, and they worked it out. Perhaps, you can too.

We're here for you, okay.

Lacey's Lesson:

It's one thing to talk faith. It's another thing to live faith. I'm not going to "get biblical" on anybody; however, I could. They say, "The rainbow follows the darkest storm." Seems to me that THEY (whoever they are!) are actually quite right!

For what it's worth, I'm no hipocrite here. I'm rather in the throes of woe myself. However, I'll navigate them. There's too much GOOD happening to me by way of transitioning. No way am I bagging it on "The One-Yard Line" in any way! No way! Things are in motion for my transition to be complete within a month or so. Sonofagun if I ain't gonna see it through! Friggin' A, Baby!

Now, I'm not better than any of you, really. If I can do it, and I'm doing it, then any of you can too.

YA GOTTA BELIEVE!

Dee Jay, this sounds like something you'd say! Hmmm, ... Post-op Dee Jay! .... great name for a rock band, baby!

Laura's Playground rocks, baby! Svenna's got faith! Rock on!

Edited June 5, 2012 by Donna Jean
one word replaced by a less problematic word

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Dear Svenna ...

It is amazing what we can when we must. We are all in this together. Keep reaching out Svenna ... we are here for you.

With Love,

JB

[Svenna]

Thank you all for your concern and kind words...

I'm sorry I was so cryptic, I was in a BAD way last night...

But, though I was having intense suicidal ideatiions, I didn't mean to imply I was suicidal...

What I meant was that I couldn't keep digging into my past traumas anymore. Doing so in preparation for my new Trauma Therapist had left me sleepless and undernourished and over-wrought for almost a week. You really don't want to know what any given day in my childhood was like. It is obvious that some cannot even imagine...

A difficult 24 hours on the home front had inflamed my last nerve and I just couldn't cope with everything all at once...

Because I am transitioning WITH my spouse, I am sometimes subject to stresses from the outside of my head simultaneously with those that haunt me on the interior of mine..

Please forgive me. I am sometimes not very strong...

Love and much appreciation for your concerns, well-wishes, PMs and emails...

You people have been very good to me. I hope my being here doesn't cause you more harm than good..

S

[Guest angels wings]

Hey Svenna no need to be sorry we're friends here who support each other in our hardest times and our joyful times . That's what friends are for. Sending you and Roxy a big warm (((((((hugs)))))) filled with strength and comfort .

[Svenna]

Okay, so I guess I CAN keep doing this...

Ugh, not that I wanna, but I gotta...

No way around it, gotta go straight through it...

Thanks for all the support and such, really!

I'll probably need more of the same before too long..

S

[Guest Juniper Blue]

HUGS TO YOU SVENNA!!

[Svenna]

HUGS TO YOU SVENNA!!

S

[RoxannaBell]

I am sorry that we made so many people worry - but I can't tell you how much it means to me (to us both) that so many people care. It's been a long time since either of us have had so many kind people who understand what we're going through. That alone makes this doable.

We are doing much better - sometimes this whole thing (Life) gets a little overwhelming.

Thank you all for your support and kindness.

Roxy

[Guest angels wings]

We love u Roxy and Svenna

[Guest Shari]

Hi Roxy and Svenna,

I'm glad you're doing better. Me too.

BTW, your new avatar pictures are really good.

Hugs,

Shari

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hopefully a good ending to a bad start

Love you both

Lizzy