I really hate dialating

[Sakura]

Dilating . is prolly thee most off putting thing to me about the Op. not for the hassle( though it does seem rather time consuming) , but for the constant reminder that it is not real. not real as in natal women do not need to constantly stick something up there to keep theirs from collapsing.

Oh really? Who are these made for:

http://www.vaginismu...cts/dilator_set

They are made for natal women.

I know of Vaginismus. " i do read womens health magazines " and do know of using dilators to treat said condition. though the case studies for it show 2% - 25% of women are affected with this condition. hardly every woman in the world, as were 100% of trans females experience like conditions. and must dilate. or fear losing thier vaginal opening all together.

Note to Doctors:

These dilators are medically graded (FDA INT), non-toxic and latex-free. Highly effective for post-surgical recovery programs as well as for treating vaginismus, dyspareunia, vaginal narrowing and other similar gynecological conditions.

taken from that site you linked , what jumped out at me " post surgical recovery progams " listed before vaginismus .....it may not be meaning anything , but still...... i wonder

Sakura

[Guest DesiB]

I'm almost at two years now and if I go more than a day without dialating, it's almost so agonizing that I have to go down to pinky for a while, then step it up.

I'm hesitant to even reply in this thread except to offer support and wish along with you for things to get easier. And if that's all I can offer that you haven't already tried before, then please accept that much from me.

We are all so different and I know I was fortunate from early on. But maybe it is my living situation (along with my pre-surgical anatomy) that has made things go easier? Living alone, I have always done my dilations in a recliner right in my livingroom with my laptop, phone, and TV easily accessible. Because of this, I always dilate for an hour or sometimes even longer because I am well situated and comfortable. By the time I am finished things are always very relaxed. So I am wondering, by the time you finish with your dilation, have you made much difference from the time you started that dilation? I apologize if you've already tried going for longer sessions with no improvement in results, but that's one of the few things we can adjust--either frequency or duration.

This almost makes me feel guilty because after 5 1/2 months of starting and ending every single day with dilations along with one or two additional sessions in the middle of each day, I'm wondering how odd it is going to seem when I cut down to only once a day in a couple weeks.

[Guest kelise]

I usually dialate in bed on a towel just before I go to sleep. It will take me about 6 or 7 minutes to get it all the way in, during which time I'm in agony. I start timing my dilation once it's all the way in. For the first ten minutes or so it's just a dull ache, which gradually dissapates. Sometimes during this time I'll fall asleep. When I realize it's been 15-20 minutes, the pain has usually subsided to nothing, but the second I reach down and start to pull it out, the pain comes back full force.

[Guest DesiB]

One more little thing I usually do that perhaps could be helpful is that after it's been in and settled for a couple minutes, I'll take it back out and use my finger to move the lubrication back down toward the end of the dilator and maybe even add a little more to the very tip then reinsert. (And yes, paper towels are always handy too.) Especially with it being so tight, I'm sure most of the lube gets pushed out the first time--just a thought. Best wishes!

[Guest Leah1026]

I usually dialate in bed on a towel just before I go to sleep. It will take me about 6 or 7 minutes to get it all the way in, during which time I'm in agony. I start timing my dilation once it's all the way in. For the first ten minutes or so it's just a dull ache, which gradually dissapates. Sometimes during this time I'll fall asleep. When I realize it's been 15-20 minutes, the pain has usually subsided to nothing, but the second I reach down and start to pull it out, the pain comes back full force.

Still that painful after 2 years? Did you ever stop dilating for any length of time? If you're still having these problems despite following a good dilation routine I don't know what to say. Maybe consult with Dr Bowers and maybe consider stopping dilation.

[Drea]

I agree with Leia here. Something doesn't sound right. One would expect the skin that one is dialating would stretch eventually. Certainly after a couple years. I could see perhaps muscle spasams causing extreme tightness despite everything for which there may not be anything. Things that come to mind:

Could there be a sensitivity to the lubricant which is causing the tissues to become inflamed so any movement of a dialator causes pain?

Could the new-vaginal wall have torn which gets ripped open every time you dialate? Could there be some other sort of ulceration on the lining of the new-vagina??

Couple the pain be comming from some issue with urethra, prostate or bowel since dialation puts pressure on those areas? One would expect if it was something in the urethra that urinating would cause some discomfort.

Could there be some sort of infection (bacterial or yeast) going on inflaming things?

These are the sorts of concerns that come to my mind. I know some argue against douching because it disturbs the "natural" microbrial balance, but sees to me if one is dialating every day it is getting disturbed by the lubricant. I personally think douching occasionally can be helpful for eliminating old lubricant and dead skin cells that have accumulated since there isn't much if any natural flow to eliminate such on its own.

I certainly think it is worth asking your surgeon or seeing a doctor to get things checked.

[Guest kelise]

The pain is coming from the deepest part of the vagina. Longest I've ever gone without dialating was three days. Thing is, it didn't used to be this bad, even right after surgery. I thought the pain may have had something to do with the age of the vagina, as I read somewhere that elasticity of it decreases after some time. I guess if this is uncommon, I'll see what my doctor says.

[~Nova~]

Being very new to this whole process I really can't add anything. Is their blood?

[Drea]

The pain is coming from the deepest part of the vagina. Longest I've ever gone without dialating was three days. Thing is, it didn't used to be this bad, even right after surgery. I thought the pain may have had something to do with the age of the vagina, as I read somewhere that elasticity of it decreases after some time. I guess if this is uncommon, I'll see what my doctor says.

I would say it is uncommon unless those experiencing similar tend not to say anything about it.

Interesting that pain comes from the deepest part. You previously said that the pain starts as soon as you start insertion which sounds inconsistant with it being deep except for two possabilities I can think of. One could be that it is just referred pain and you experience there while it originates someplace else. Or insertion which dialates the opening is pulling on the tissue and that there is some issue deep.

I expect you don't have a fistula or you would know it. But perhaps there is an ulceration at the end. My sister had some adominal surgery and had problems later because the scar tissue from the surgery caused (I forget the technical name) an adhesion between to things that usually aren't attached to each other resulting in pain as she moved.

One thing that comes to mind in the deepest part is that if one doesn't dialiate with an upwards/forward trajectory towards navel one can press against the back part of the pelvic bone rather than slipping above it. A narrow dialator can actually make this worse as it concentrates pressure more at the end. Thus such has possability of injuring the tissues at the deepest part. Those overweight (which I don't think you are) can have problems getting the correct angle. If you use dialators that have a bend to them, unless you are putting the bed in the wrong direction, such a problem would seem unlikely.

I am not a doc here and could be way off base. This is speculative. An internal exam should show something serious like ulceration, but might now show pain that comes from other tissues in the area.

[Guest NatashaJade]

I'm sorry you're having such trouble with your dilations, Kairi. I'm still at three times a day, but I've found that Mr. Lavender (the narrowest of the three) is the least, for lack of a better word, enjoyable. It doesn't fill me and the end hurts a little because it's much narrower at the tip than the others.

I do recommend calling Dr. Bower's office and letting them know what you're feeling.

As for dilating itself, it is not what I would call a pleasurable experience and I look forward to doing it less. It doesn't really hurt, but I dislike the cleanup and that I have to disappear from my family for a few hours a day. "Sunny's going to do her thing." My thing. *sigh*

That being said, I have found that Netflix is a great time killer. So on the plus side, I get to watch a lot of documentaries that I would have never watched otherwise.

xoxo

[Guest Leah1026]

As for dilating itself, it is not what I would call a pleasurable experience and I look forward to doing it less. It doesn't really hurt, but I dislike the cleanup and that I have to disappear from my family for a few hours a day. "Sunny's going to do her thing." My thing. *sigh*

When talking with friends I refer to it as "the chore".

[Guest kelise]

Interesting that pain comes from the deepest part. You previously said that the pain starts as soon as you start insertion which sounds inconsistant with it being deep except for two possabilities I can think of. One could be that it is just referred pain and you experience there while it originates someplace else. Or insertion which dialates the opening is pulling on the tissue and that there is some issue deep.

Ok ok, the pain comes from everywhere, but it's most intense at the deepest part.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Interesting. Does it hurt when you start with the small one first? I've been dilating for about a year now and down to once a day. I start with the small and work myself up to the size 3. The size 3 is a bit sore but the other two are rather easy to get in without pain.

[Guest TRIWINGGIRL]

I recently had stopped dilating for well over a year because of my roommate keeping me upset all the time. now that she is gone i have calmed down and stated dilating again. the first couple times it hurt a lot but soon did not and started feeling good again.

What damage are you talking about?

My friend who saw biber went longer than that but she could take an entire 8 in dilater inside.

[Guest TRIWINGGIRL]

I've been reading more posts on this thread. It seems to me that some of you dislike dilating.

This seems odd to me i love dilating but i don't call it that. I call it playing with my toys. in fact i just bought a new new skin pink dildo. i have several and am so greatful to finally be able to play with them. As i said in another post i recently started dilating again from a long hiatus and there was some pain at first but it went away.

I am also looking foward to breaking my cherry. i currently finally have a possible candidate. i will probobly wait to long, caused by being old inexperienced and scared. it's hard to be a 50 year old virgin.

[Guest TRIWINGGIRL]

As I recall Marci Bowers recommends dialating daily. That does seem like it can become a chore. Is it something that you are doing daily or more irregularly?

You can of course stop dialating, but that can result in irreversible changes that can't be undone easily if at all. Given your partner and relationship interests it may be an option you choose

What irreversable chages are you talking about? I stopped for over a year and there was some pain at first when i restated recently. But i've seen no changes.

I did dialate for the first year then for the next 3-4 years played with my toys every night. so my vag was well broken in when i stopped.

STILL WHAT CHANGES?

[Drea]

What irreversable chages are you talking about? I stopped for over a year and there was some pain at first when i restated recently. But i've seen no changes.

I did dialate for the first year then for the next 3-4 years played with my toys every night. so my vag was well broken in when i stopped.

STILL WHAT CHANGES?

Loss of depth and vaginal stenosis (narrowing/tightness) are risks associated with not dialating.

Resumption of dialating, particularly if done more frequent than typical maintence, can restore some of both but generally not all. In some cases however, especially if one dialates persistantly enough, all that was lost can be restored.

Stopping after 4 years (the toys count as dialating) rather than earler probably helped you as you said you were "well broken in". Also since your surgery is somewhat unusual given that you mentioned artificial skin was used inside, the response of yours to not dialating and then resumption after a year may not be the typical result.

[Guest TRIWINGGIRL]

Oh Yea they mentioned i might have less trouble I think They told me a lot of wierd stuff though. Like i should not duche, Yes i clean myself.

We are all different yes but as i also said i have know others that stopped with little or no trouble. But they also were well broke in. I do know if yu don't use it even if just with toys yu could have trouble i remember being told that

I agree with and understand what has been said here i was just wondering what damage yu were talking about. I wanted to impart my experience.

i feel for those having trouble hope yu work it out and feel better.

Thank you