Dilating question

[~Nova~]

Hi girls...

I've been graduating upward in size and I'm having a hard time getting the next size all the way in. It seems to me that their should be a size in between the second and third sizes.

Ok, it is what it is. Has anyone else had a hard time getting on in? Have you just worked it? I seem to be making progress, but it slow going. Does anyone else have trouble going up a size?

My dilators:

[Drea]

It hasn't been long for you so maybe not ready.

Rather than try and force the next larger size, my suggestion is dialate as your nomally do to the size the fits fully comfortably. When essentially done, spend some extra time by inserting the next largest as far as it will go without forcing it. Just very light pressure. This may be only the first 3/4 inch or an inch. Just hold it there for a period of time maybe 10 minutes. Since you aren't putting pressure, not trying to force it there isn't risk of tearing anything. While it seems like little pressure will do anything, if you are doing multiple times a day, the amount it can be inserted might get further and further over a period of days and weeks or it could suddenly surprise you and be there.

[~Nova~]

The doc told me I hold be trying to increase a size every week or a little more. The smaller orange is no problem, but the purple one won't go. Use subtle gentle pressure a little at a time. The first two, light purple and orange, are no trouble. Does the darker purple one look so much larger? It seems much larger to me.

This is such a pain. At least I orgasm doing it or I would stop.

[Guest NatalieRene]

I find that if I gently take the dilator and put it in a little at first and then go back out that I can get it in further the next time. Not to get too graphic but a little foreplay will help you get the dilator in more easily without hurting ourself.Sometimes being too mechanical makes it hurt more.

[~Nova~]

I find that if I gently take the dilator and put it in a little at first and then go back out that I can get it in further the next time. Not to get too graphic but a little foreplay will help you get the dilator in more easily without hurting ourself.Sometimes being too mechanical makes it hurt more.

I do work it in and out. I guess I'm not the only one that has found the dilator a little larger than themselves. I cannot believe how large some of them are.

I'll keep working it. Blech!

Thanks for the reply

[Drea]

Thank you for the clarification that it is trying to get to the purple. I thought you might have been trying to get from the blue to the green or maybe the gree to the large orange. What I mentioned is what worked for getting between the diameter of the green to the diameter of the large orange.

The step in sizes doesn't look abnormally large. They should be 1/8 inch diameter each step starting at 7/8" for the gray 1" for small orange, 1 1/8" for the purple, etc up to 1 1/2" for the big organge. Unless the gray is 3/4" and small orange is 7/8" instead of the grey being 7/8". Then you might be missing the 1" diameter as I am pretty sure the purple is 1 1/8".

The taper on the gray and small orange looks gentler than the purple so depending on depth you might not be getting dialation to the full width of the orange and the somewhat sharper of the purple makes it seem somewhat larger of a step than it is.

I never used anything smaller than the purple (1 1/8" and then it was only a starter to get lube in, while the dialation was done with larger dilators.

I wish I could offer more.

[Guest Jenni_S]

Hi Nova,

It looks like we have the same set of blue, green, and orange. I had trouble moving straight from green to orange, so what I did was use the green one for abut half the time, and then use the orange one for the other half. Then each time I would use the green one for less and less of the time, until it was just a minute or so, just to get things started. Twice the fuss and mess, but it did work out, and i was able to leave the smaller one behind after about 10 sessions.

[Guest vtphoenix]

Dr. Brassard gives out 4 dilators, which look identical to the top 4 in your picture. For the first month, I dilated with the dark purple and the blue one. Now I'm dilating with the dark purple for 5 min, the blue for 10, and the green for 15. So far I haven't had any problems but I have noticed a few things. In the first few weeks, dilating was easier if I used ice for a bit first. Dilating is also harder in the morning. I'm sure those things are due to swelling. I've also regularly been taking Ibuprofen which reduces inflammation. In the packet I received, it recommends taking 10 deep breaths before starting, maybe that might help also?

[Guest NatalieRene]

I find that if I gently take the dilator and put it in a little at first and then go back out that I can get it in further the next time. Not to get too graphic but a little foreplay will help you get the dilator in more easily without hurting ourself.Sometimes being too mechanical makes it hurt more.

I do work it in and out. I guess I'm not the only one that has found the dilator a little larger than themselves. I cannot believe how large some of them are.

I'll keep working it. Blech!

Thanks for the reply

I'm on my number three out of five. It's about the size of your top one. You'll get there.

[Guest DesiB]

How far along from surgery are you, Nova? (Please forgive me for not remembering.) We've all heard about the period around 2 or 3 months after surgery when there is a period of re-tightening that occurs (I can confirm it from my own experience). I think I was fortunate that I moved up to the largest dilator (orange 1 1/2") in a little over a month, so I just had to work to maintain it through that re-tightening phase. I only had 4 sizes (take out the middle two on the 4-wide holder you have pictured and the remaining ones are what I have) and I never felt like the jump between them was ever too much.

But the best advice I can think of at the moment is to insert, even partially, just hold it there for a few minutes while relaxing, then take it out, relube and repeat going slightly deeper each time. I think the key may be to avoid any rapid in-and-out action which will likely just cause you to tighten up more at this point. And I highly recommend doing this as many times and for as long as possible every day for several days until you see some progress.

I've never taken a single sitz bath (but of course I'm not in a position to contradict your surgeon's instructions). My advice is to keep the whole process as simple as possible, rather than making it so overwhelming you avoid it, and focus all your effort on that steady internal pressure while relaxing as much as possible. I'd also try to do this on an empty stomach (and more specifically an empty colon). I hope it works out for you--be patient and hang in there!

Desi

[Guest DesiB]

This is the set of dilators that I, and I suspect many of us, have: http://soulsourceenterprises.com/html/products_grs.html

You can see, as Drea previously mentioned, they are graduated by 1/8" each, which is designed to be a reasonable step from one to the next.

I know some people lie flat on a couch or bed to dilate with their knees up. But I was told that a 45 degree angle is better for helping you relax the involved muscles. So ever since I got home from surgery, I've dilated in my recliner and it has always been very comfortable to me. So perhaps you might try out some different positions as well as the other tips people have offered.

There are also differing schools of thought regarding the type of lubrication (i.e. oil vs. water based). I've always used baby oil gel and I find it very effective and easier to keep it where you want it. I also used 1% hydrocortisone gel to prevent/reduce granulation tissue (it helped, but those follow up visits and getting the silver nitrate treatments were still well worth the trips!). The 1% hydrocortisone cream seemed to add friction, so I stuck with the gel since it seemed to work better with the lubricant.

Regarding the amount of pressure, my surgeon (who also knows from personal experience) told me that it would take extreme pressure to cause any damage. So from the beginning I was never afraid to apply very firm, steady pressure--just don't get crazy with it and twist it all around and in an out rapidly if it barely fits in the first place! It is, however, OK to do some small motions upon insertion as if turning a doorknob to see if the door is locked--that is how it is described in my dilation manual.

Of course some of these ideas may conflict with your surgeon's instructions, so if you haven't already done so, at least go back and re-read all those instructions you've already received and find out if there's something you may have overlooked or forgotten about. Best wishes, as always!

Desi

[Guest kelise]

Wow, you have the whole set! I only have the dark purple, blue, and green ones. Never could get up to the green. I think I'm stuck with blue for good. Try twisting it slightly back and forth as you work it in. And, did you say you ORGASM during dialation??? Wow, that's the last thing I think about happening during it. In fact I think it's one of the least arrousing things I can think about doing.

[~Nova~]

Wow, you have the whole set! I only have the dark purple, blue, and green ones. Never could get up to the green. I think I'm stuck with blue for good. Try twisting it slightly back and forth as you work it in. And, did you say you ORGASM during dialation??? Wow, that's the last thing I think about happening during it. In fact I think it's one of the least arrousing things I can think about doing.

Believe me, orgasm is the last thing I'm thinking about, but sometimes I just relax and it happens. The first time it happened I didn't know what was going on. It felt do strange and my legs were shaking. Then I realized what happened and started to let it happen more and more. I can't do it on my own, it happens when it wants. So far.

Thank you all for the replies. I need to dilate more often. I just cannot find the time so I do it when I can. I was able to get the blue most of the way in yesterday and I think if I just relax it will work.

Thanks again for all the help.

BTW, I'm not yet 5 weeks post op. the packing stayed in the first week so I've only been dilating for 3.5.

[Drea]

Sounds like you made good progress getting from not being able to get the purple to not being able to get blue most of the way in. Hopefully that will continue.