How do I tell the boys?

[Guest KatyLizzy]

So I was catching up with one of my best friends tonight and I thought about telling him, the only thing is I'm afraid he's gonna be really peed at me. The funny thing is I'm pretty sure he'd be cool with me being trans, it's more the fact that I've broken the 'bro code' that's the problem. Any tips on how I can get him and the rest of the guys I know to understand that I'm not trying to violate/take advantage of their trust?

[Sally]

We cannot decide for someone else how they will react and we cannot predict how they will feel, all we can do is to tell them, explain the difficulties in dealing with this realization - good friends tend to understand why you waited so long to tell them.

The only thing that you can do is to decide when you are ready to tell them, not when they are ready to hear it - when you reach the point that you need to tell them, you will.

I have been surprised by the reactions of some of my friends - a few of the ones that I was sure would just disappear have been the most supportive.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Chrysee]

I believe that you have one point backwards: it's obvious that you are not even trying to take advantage of their trust but in fact are needing theirs perhaps like never before.

If you're at all like me, friends are family and who else would you want to go to and garner the most support from?

For example, I have a dear, dear friend who packs around a bit too much machismo for me. When his wife scheduled breast reduction, it horrified him that she had not basically asked his permission to do so. (Gag!) When I invited him over to 'Come Out' to him, he politely listened to everything that I had to say and when done stood up to go and refill his coffee, smiling and saying:

"I can't believe that after all we've been through you still think that something that you could say would make me mad!"

One other good friend did split from me in a most insulting email dual. Two years later, out of the clear blue, he wrote saying that he was sorry, that he missed me, and hoped that we could be friends again.

(That one tore me up a bit!)

Show your friends what your made of and let them do the same, I say.

With love,

Chrysalis

[Charlize]

I've been very pleasantly suppressed at how my friends have taken my honesty. Never seemed to be a break of the "bro code". In fact the only problem they seem to have is not seeing me as the world seems too. I still enjoy my time with them and also as one of the girls with their wives. I can hang and be accepted in the kitchen now.

Hugs,

Charlie