Is it necessary to inform my daughters school that i am transitioning?

[Guest kristopherlee]

My daughter will be entering the second grade at the end of this month. I am struggling with the decision of whether it is necessary for the school to be informed or whether I should not say anything and hope for the best. I do not want issues to arise and cause problems for my daughter. I do not want her to be harrassed because of my decision. I should mention that i do not as of yet have any legal custody of her, she and her mother live with me, i am going through the process of second parent adoption but nothing is official. I pick her up and drop her off at school the majority of the time. I worry that if i do not say anything, that my identity may be questioned at some point and cause problems. I will be beginning hrt in the beginning of september its possible that no noticeable changes will occur but i wanted opinions of other transtitioning parents. What do you think is best the best approach for the safety and well being of my daughter? (Also, she is fully aware of my transition and is very supportive and not shy about telling others. ) Namaste

[VickySGV]

If you still have your male identification and will be driving with it then I see no problems, especially if the girl feels about you the way she does. Since she is not your legal child yet, your biggest concern will be to have a medical care permisson slip from her mother designating you as a person who can authorize emergency medical care for her. Also have her mom give the school an authorization for you to pick her up in case of a need to send her home from school for medical care or discipline reasons. If you are in femme, you will still have your proper ID and authorization. When it happens, as long as Mom has told them to let her go with you, there will be few if any problems even if you are dressed as female. Otherwise, play it by ear and don't do anything before you really NEED to.

[Guest kristopherlee]

thank you for responding, i dont think that i mentioned in the post that i am ftm. i start testosterone in september and my concern lies really with the fact that i wait outside the schools door for her to come out when she is finished for the day, with the other parents. i worry that they may cause problems or question me. My gut says to not say anything until completely necessary but i worry that will cause more problems somehow.

[VickySGV]

I am sorry for the misgender, please substitute "female" where I said male, and all of the above is still true. I overlooked your profile notes. My sincere apologies.

[Guest Robin Winter]

I'm actually struggling with this myself at the moment. My daughter starts her first day of school in a week.

My advice is to tell them, particularly since your daughter is "not shy about telling others". It might cause problems that the school will be better equipped to handle if they know what's what. Now, the trick will be for me to take my own advice

[Ravin]

The name given on the authorized pick-up person list should be the one on your I.D. I see no reason why they need any other information unless some issue comes up. The only thing they'll need to know is legal parent status when it happens and legal name change when that happens.