come out at work

[Guest winryy]

Hi

Hmm I might jump around a lot am sorry about that well to start off I need to let me work know about the changes going on with me I just cant take it anymore living a duel life its killing me also since am changing my name legally with in the next mouth is also a big reason I need to let them know.. Well I started off talking to many people about coming out at work

So step one I contacted HR which did not go well at all I was not expecting them to have anything set up about coming out to my boss or co-workers but I guesses I thought they would be there to help me to tell them they have no interest in doing so I was told its my problem and its up to me to let my faculty know. Also was told they might let me go because of this after some pushing of the HR person.

I even said I would help them set some type of way to do it with giving them information about what its like to be TG (she had no idea what that meant so had to explain that to her which I don’t mind teaching others only way to stop the prejudice that goes along with being TG) \

So after all that the only good thing I did was not tell them my whole name since I did call them once before with a problem at work and they called my boss right off and it made things so much worst

They only help they did leave me with is to make sure when my name change goes thou to make sure to let pay role know about it,,, like duh

The next big hurdle come to the sexist people I work with my boss being the worst one about it many times he has told me how nice it would be to have no women in the kitchen that he needs to get ried of them. Also he is just a jerk to many ways to explain it so I just go on

I have let one co-work know about me she has been great about it being very supported and being trustworthy she has not said anything to anyone. But as it goes for the others ones my gut tells me they will not be understanding as Wendy is even Wendy has said she thinks am going to get some harassment from quit a few of them.

So this leaves me feeling very scared and sad an worry since right know even thou it’s a crappy job not paying well I need it to make it bye.. Wendy opine is for me to quite she knows how sad I have been and at times I am ready to quite but logic clicks in and I don’t I hate logic..

So I think I should just come right out and tell my bosses and let them inform my co-workers ///

I don’t know

Please help me

Keira

[Sally]

OK, let me ask you first is this a private company or is it a large, national one - that makes a huge difference.

If it is a National organization like McDonald's (you mentioned a kitchen and crappy pay so fast food came to mind) they have national guidelines that must be followed so firing you becomes much more difficult and harassment is punishable.

In smaller companies that work within a single state there are less protections but most states have some - research and find out where your protections are going to come from because you cannot rely on the HR Person - they seem totally uninterested.

You will have to be your own HR director so get the information first.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest winryy]

Its thou out the US and in Canada their crop headquarters are in Oregon its not fast food well I live in Michigan which the protections in this state does not exist I have looked into that have talk about this with members of PFLAG and with some TG groups all have said no laws that right out protect TG but most likely they will not fire for being TG they find another reason to they are a private company not traded on any stock market in the hand book it does list states with laws

that outline employment rights

Also they do not follow the handbook I have called them on this a few times for one thing the handbook say after 90 days of employment you will get benefits they denied them to me and says its 180 days well am past that mark and still don’t have any I work fulltime

hop this is what your asking for thanks

Keira

[Guest AngieT]

Keira -

The possibilities of what may happen are truly endless, and depend on many factors regarding your work, your position, your place of residence, and your individual workplace. In a nutshell, anything is possible, and I'd suggest preparing yourself for any worst case scenario.

In my case, I worked for a medium size company (approx 200 employees) when I started HRT. I kept my transition plans quiet and to myself. About three months into HRT, changes to ID and gender change laws/policies were on the horizon, so I rushed to change my name and sex designator while it was still easy to do. I then approached the company HR department to inform them of my legal changes, and to notify them of my intent to transition, in-place, at my 6 month HRT anniversary. This would give us 90 days to plan and inform co-workers. After my tense meeting with the HR department, I was called into the office of the company senior VP, who had just been informed of my plans. He was really supportive and ensured me that my job was safe, however he stated that HR had concerns regarding my proposed 90 day transitional period. Once I turned in legal paperwork to HR changing my name and legal/government recognized gender to female, my status was essentially the same as any other woman that worked for the company, and HR insisted that for legal purposes I needed to be brought into compliance with the same rules that applied to all women. Effective immediately I was expected to adhere to the women's dress code, and would only be allowed to use the women's facilities. Starting the following day, I would begin working full time as a woman. I was given the rest of the day off (with pay) to prepare, and was asked to send a global email to everyone in the company before the end of the day explaining what was going on. The following day was scary, but with the support of several understanding co-workers, some of whom brought in flowers to "spice up" my office, I survived.

My experience was, however, atypical, and certainly a bit more fortunate. Again, regardless of what happens, plan for the worst, hope for the best, be yourself and don't let anyone dictate to you how to live your life.

All my best,

Angie

[Guest Melissa~]

I have said before that HR is not the employees "friend" that they were 20 years ago. They may be the first people you need to tell, but the first thing HR will do is go as high up the chain as they can and pursue their own intentions and interests, not work for legal compliance or the employees best interest. If their intentions are to get rid of an employee it's never been a problem I can tell.

[Guest winryy]

well big updata i told my boss today it was a long day since i asked to talk to him when he had time and it was not untile the end of the day,, so i told him that am a Tg no surpize he did not know that that was thought i was talking about being bi, well after some time talking told me not sure what the company will do but good chance they will let me go,, told him i need to be ture to myself and i need to do this and i dont care what anyone thinks he just looked at me with a puzzle face

the asked well if you do get fire what you going to do for money "who is going to hired someone like you" little taken back try to explain that a lot of tg people work in all kinds of fields then he asked me if my work habits where going to change because i am tg also keep referring to it as a choice no matter how many times i told him it was not, after that said well does if you change your name that is legal and that name does not matter

try to tell him its more then just chaning my name i need to be myself i explain that means i would dress wear makeup might have my nails done and so on

(i fell i was more elgant tell that to him then trying to rember it now) i told him i talk too HR and told him what they said

then said we would have a problem with "a guy" wearing makeup and earings i said am not a guy am a woman so why cant i dress like the other women here

only good note i think i belive him but not sure he said he is fine with people being what ever they are he was also happy that i let him know before my name was change legaly

i wanted to tell the GM but he was adimit about tell them himself i finaly left it if they have any question about this have them ask me...

he said jsut him and the 4 GM would just know untile they figure out what to do

I still belive he does not understand the diffence between TG and sexual orientation

so i guess the next few days will tell what happens no idea all i know is that 2 of the GM are huge blabber mouths so am already preferring myself for everyone to know this

thanks Keira