Coming Out in The Next Couple Days

[Guest Magical3]

Not anticipated, as usual with life, I will be coming out very soon. I had very bad GD last week, and some this week, and my Mom knows something is up. This morning she was questioning me on what was wrong. I can't lie to her, I told there is something wrong, but I can't tell her now, and that it is not a bad thing. So I think between today and tomorrow I will write a letter, and put it somewhere to be found, as I leave for school. Very excited and nervous, but hopeful, because my Mom is upset that I don't trust her enough to tell her something, while really it is me who is not ready to talk yet. I know many have asked this, but I am panicking a bit, so what should I put in the letter? I will hopefully post the letter tonight for you guys to read. I will tell my Mom first then my Dad, because I think my Mom will be better. Thanks a bunch!

[VickySGV]

Take a look at what some of the others have done here and use what you can or need to, and best of wishes it works out fine.

[Guest Magical3]

I know that you have had you suspicions that something was wrong for a little while. And there is. I can’t lie to you; I just needed some time to collect my thoughts, and to write this.

When you and others ask me why I want to be a biomedical/genetic engineer, I have always answered that I didn’t really know, that I found it interesting to bring concepts from the natural world to useable technology, and modifications. This in part was a lie. I do agree with this, but this is not my root cause of my interest. The truth is that I want to be able to help others like me, while I can’t prove this officially, I am transgender. I know this may be weird to you, just let it digest a little bit, don’t overflow, don’t explode.

What has been bothering these past couple of weeks is a strong case of gender dysphoria, a term used for when a person’s physical gender doesn’t match their internal gender. This has flared up in the past couple of weeks, and has led to some depression and distraction, but this is not a suicide note, I never have felt that suicide would ever help anything.

Now I don’t want to go fast here, I just need to start seeing a gender therapist, because I need to affirm being transgender, and to relieve some stress.

I know that you will think that you are responsible; you are not. And I know that you will think that you don’t know me; you still know me. I just have a discontinuity with my physical gender versus my actual internal gender. Scientists do not know the root cause of transgender, so it is not someone’s fault. And I am still the same person. Also you may believe this to be a phase; it is not a phase. I have felt a discontinuity with my gender since 7^th-8^th grade. It was a realization at first then in 8^th grade I found out about transgender, and understood. Over the past couple years I have been able to submerge, to bury my gender dysphoria. But conversations and talks have only raised the dysphoria back up. Last Monday the 21^st it peaked, and was very bad. Suddenly it fully entered my conscious mind, and that is why I have been so distracted lately.

I just really need to tell someone, to let all the pressure off of my chest, because it is building, and I can’t wait until I am 18 to independently see a therapist. I trust you greatly, and I hope that this doesn’t change our relationship, but I can’t continue holding in the truth, let alone living a lie.

I have been living partially in the dark for years, so please just let me be fully in the light.

This is a draft of my letter I just finished. I would love feedback! Thank you so much!

[Guest Magical3]

Well just came out to my Mom. She is understanding, but confused, saying she never saw any of this in me, and kind of convinced it may be a phase. I think there is some tension, just because we didn't have time to talk through it. I gave her the letter, because she was very worried, and just continued to push me. I did come out to her, but our conversation is just starting. I only came out because she said that she wouldn't tell anyone else, even my Dad. I just had to come out, she was so worried about me she couldn't work and sleep, and until we talk more I am going to be a wreck, but at least I have started the process! At least that feels good, otherwise I just have a ton of weight on my chest. I will have to wait until tomorrow to talk to her, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I am going to give her the PFLAG brochure, what other content should I give her? I would've been more planned, but I wasn't ready, and she wasn't ready either. TAKES A HUGE SIGH. Thanks!