I came out to my parents...they didn't take me seriously.

[Guest JackofJoker]

Hello all, I'm a newbie here, but I already have a tiny problem

You see, my parents are very accepting of the LGBTQ community (One of their family friends was a transwoman and my dad yelled at my aunt for not wanting legalize gay marriage) and I thought that they would be accepting of me if I was.

Turns out that it was a "yes and no" kind of answer. My dad seemed to accept it for a while, but then later told me that he didn't think I was a transgender and it was just one of my phases. To be fair, I'm pretty sure it wasn't out of not wanting to accept it, since he told me earlier that I would regret it and not be able to take it back if it was one of those phases after all. And his reason? He looked at an article about living with a transgender kid, and I didn't act like him(the kid.) Being a person who believes in the "only you will know for sure" philosophy, that kind of ticked me off :/

My mom just thinks I "want" to be a cross-dresser.

I would like to have some input about this. I will understand if it's one of those situations that will take time.

Jack

[VickySGV]

Ohh I think they took you seriously, but they feel there is a rule that says they can't let you know they did!! Its a reaction to PANIC on their part. They are shielded from what happens to "other people" and can be very open about what "other" parents should feel about their children, but, sharp intake of breath, they are inwardly screaming "OMG THIS IS MY CHILD TELLING ME THIS". This is a change from what they have always thought, and change manangement is a learned skill, not an inborn thing. They will need time to work through the steps of change, but hopefully they can do it.

A good readable, and accurate book is True Selves by Mildred Brown and Chloe Rounsley which I have given to people trying to understand me. This book specifically states that there is no "typical" and universal pattern for TG children to act. It does however give a wondereful insight as to what was going on inside, even if the outside acted diffeently.

[Carolyn Marie]

Vicky gave you a great answer, Jack. You hit on it yourself, when you noted that it "will take time."

Parents are usually scared for their child's future, and their first reaction is to "protect" their child by denying the reality of what the kid is saying. There may also be some guilt involved, and legitimate fear for what the child may face in the future.

The best bet is to continue talking to them, without getting defensive or upset. Just answer their questions as best you can, direct them to resources like the book Vicky mentioned, or even to come here to read or become a member. It sounds like your chances of support and acceptance are much better than average, and so I hope it works out for you over the long term.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest LizMarie]

You've gotten good advice already but let me add something - you've told them and they heard you, so now go about living your life as you wish, dressing as you wish, etc. I think if they see this is not a phase, they'll start to take you more seriously.