What are opinions on ftms dating mtfs? :o

[Guest SusanB]

Keep teasing me Jody and i might become a stalker LOL

[Guest]

Please don't. But the shopping offer is still good. Coffee and giggles would be fun too. I like your new avatar too, I think it caused me to be so impulsive! LOL! Forum life would not be as good for me, if I didn't have friends to tease me. Keep up the good work girl! Hug. JodyAnn

[VickySGV]

What is the Southern Comfort Conference?

http://sccatl.org/content/

Thought no one would ask!! Great place to meet other transfolk.

[Guest Maria_B]

I kinda have the massive hots for one of my transman friends, but he's gay, so it's all like, FOR QUA.

Besides, he lives in England, lol. But daaaaaaaamn, that boy is cuuuuuuuuuuuuute. He's so friendly and fun, too.

[Guest Lupi]

Personally I think a lot of transgirls have a lot more going on for them than many cisgirls do. I go one for sure, as long as they were cute.

[Guest AlyTheGreatAngel]

What is the Southern Comfort Conference?

http://sccatl.org/content/

Thought no one would ask!! Great place to meet other transfolk.

NVM I saw Southern Comfort the documentary last night I know now

[VickySGV]

Aly -- The documentary is NOT the current conference content!! -- The documentary is actually about trans man Robert Eads who died a number of years ago from ovarian cancer because he could not find a hospital to treat it for him. The documentary has nothing to do with the current conference, other than the fact that a medical clinic for transmen in Robert's name is supported by the entire SCC board and by donations solicitied at the conference. Some of the finance is from a "date auction" at the conference with some of the best looking guys avaiable for a sizeable contribution to the health center. (The entire auction this past year got about $5,000 for the HC.) The documentary is pretty gloomy and sad in some ways, but we have come a long way in providing medical understanding of the needs of trans men and in improving available care for them.

The trans men I met in September 2012 were a healthy and happy bunch, and I do have a couple of the older ones that I love to pal around with there in Atlanta. The nice thing is that the guys I had Lunch (it was LUNCH) with were all in their late teens, and were going to be fine in a couple of years. There are over 700 people there, and a third are trans men. The 2013 conference stuff will be on line here around the middle of February.

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

Hi Aly,

Great question!

I truly feel romance is a matter of the heart.

The heart tends to defy logic and all kinds of biases sometimes otherwise imposed by the mind.

In romance, I tend to follow my heart.

I am currently involved with a cis-gendered female. Yet, not because I had ruled out anyone other than a cis female.

This is a relationship which had developed over time. I was not looking for a partner. This had developed out of a longer term, sincere friendship. Since this is how romantic relationships develop in my life (as I won't allow for any impulsive involvements), any genuine and deep heart/soul connection opens the door for a possible romantic relationship, if all else is in alignment and both parties are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.

Yes, I would be very open to a romantic relationship with a transwoman if I was not already involved with someone very special to me at this time. If anything ever happened to end my current relationship, I would consider developing a long-term relationship with a transwoman. Certainly.

Someone had posted above in this thread something about some transwomen "having it over" some cis women. Yes, I also think this is sometimes the case, in my own opinion. Yes, I find some transwomen very attractive in mind, spirit and in their physical presentation. I sincerely love and appreciate women, feminine women. In my opinion, feminine women can also be very intelligent, very independent, very strong in every way. When I write "feminine women" I don't mean "dependent" women, although I do enjoy balanced mutual interdependence and I tend to be very protective of women, and especially of the one I love so deeply! Not jealous, just a tad protective of her and of her welfare.)

We have some incredibly beautiful transwomen right here at Laura's, truly beautiful on all levels of their Being! These women are great examples of the outstanding hearts, souls, minds and amazing physical presence of transwomen in general.

The women at Laura's, and women in general, have my utmost respect, always.

Warmly,

Brad

[Guest AlyTheGreatAngel]

So any great replies

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I remember seeing a video on youtube about an ftm dating and mtf. It was adorable although I can't for the life of me remember their names. The cutest part of it was at the end where the mtf said "There's nobody else that really understands me like he does".

I would date an ftm in a heartbeat granted he can be on the same page as me, and we can connect. IMO, there's nobody better long term for a trans then another trans.

God Bless

Natalya <3

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Natalya,

Groovy for you to resurrect this thread. Well you already know my answer, Alex is a dream.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest]

Don't think of have an issue with dating an ftm as long as I liked them as a person (also kind of have the hots for them)-though like with anyone I wouldn't specifically seek it out. Dating another mtf though I think would be really difficult for me - I think if would just stir up too much emotional baggage within myself - but I certainly wouldn't rule it out.

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Hi Stephie <3,

Hi Natalya,

Groovy for you to resurrect this thread. Well you already know my answer, Alex is a dream.

hugs,

Stephanie

I actually seen your "I have a boyfriend!" thread beforehand, and then seen this thread, and thought I'd share my blunt and silly opinions.

"Stephie and Alex sitting in a tree ..." LOL

God Bless

Natalya <3

[Guest]

Wow, a 2 year old Thread resurrected.

The 2nd coming must be near.

Quite frankly, I would date any person who I feel a connection with.

I guess this would make me pan as opposed to my previous identity of Hetro-Lesbian.

Huggs,

Joann

[Ravin]

For me it's about the individual connection, not about the person's particular equipment or identity. I'd date a trans person, totally.

[Guest ravenhawwk]

Natalya, I really had a laugh from what you posted "Stephie and Alex sitting in a tree"... well you do know that we both like trees... lol ...

[Guest Jamie61]

was feeling kinda down, but this thread resurrection / "sitting in a tree" thing makes me feel better

Thanks!

[Charlize]

I am married to a cis woman and have been for over 43 years. I'm certainly not in the market as we have built a beautiful tree house where we can sit. I do know a number of wonderful handsome trans men and i certainly would consider dating them. As trans* people we share so much. I certainly understand the attraction. The idea of simply changing roles in a couple has appealed to me as early as the 60's.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Natalya, I really had a laugh from what you posted "Stephie and Alex sitting in a tree"... well you do know that we both like trees... lol ...

I didn't, but I'm glad I made ya laugh. And I'm glad you're both happy. I haven't known Stephie long, but I do know she's a great gal.

was feeling kinda down, but this thread resurrection / "sitting in a tree" thing makes me feel better

Thanks!

Sometimes I can be so immature. I'm glad it helped someone this time :-D

God Bless

Natalya <3

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Yep, I had a good laugh as well Natalya,

I need to laugh, and have a good time in order to keep my stress levels down. My cat stays in my lap most of the time when I am on the computer since he understands that I need his support as well. I am doing all that I can to keep myself from homelessness, and losing my car. This creates a fair bit of stress. My playground friends, and real life friends (sometimes now overlapping catagories) keep me from imploding. Alex is wonderful, and his love is keeping me upbeat. My friend Jennifer is helping me to figure out financial solutions, she has an MBA, but she can't provide money since she is on disability herself and can't spare any. It is kinda difficult to budget when you only work one day a week, and only get paid for that. Sorry about going off topic. As a boyfriend, Alex is an absolute dream, and thinking of him keeps the blues away enough to stay partially functional. Faced with the impossibility of my finances, my mind goes into "safe mode", and I pull myself inward, it makes some interactions no longer available like phone calls (I have a phone phobia even on my best days), and going to strange places like hospitals can't be done either. I am still able to work though, and keep in touch with folks I know well. I am weird, or at the very least eccentric I know, but it helps me to express my problems here. Keep me laughing Natalya, I need it, thanks.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Kaylee]

Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure I would find the right place to drop this, but I have... well... a delema regarding just this topic.

All of a sudden, Dating is a forign concept to me.

Admittedly, I didn’t date much when I was young. I was so busy trying to make my mark in the world (and sometimes trying really hard to ignore who I was)… I just didn’t have time. As I got older, obviously, I dated more and more… looking for that right person… that would complement my personality so completely.

I was never the “Cocky and funny” type, and never had any game to speak of. (this is obvious now he he So naturally, I never thought that I would date such a number of women, that I would become an old hand at it… but that is the case. Not a lick of nervous or an issue keeping the conversation going.... even on a date you know won't lead to another.

When I started transition, one of the first things my GT asked me was if I was “ready to loose male privilege”. Now, I knew what the future could be like in that regard, and while I haven’t really had to deal with it at this point, I do wonder how things will be the first time I go the auto parts or hardware store. But all this time… I knew… this was in my future.

Flash forward to 5 months HRT, and one big surprise… dating guys! (Ok, not really dating yet… but it rhymed!) Anyhoo, it’s a bit surprising to me since I am not generally attracted to men, that I would wake up the day after my first meeting him… wondering what he was doing… instead of some woman I’ve been chatting with. This too… I knew could happen, and it’s no big deal!

But… there is one thing that never crossed my mind, that no one asked me, and that I didn’t read in a post someplace. How does a Trans-woman… date a trans-man? I not referring to anything that has to do with sex, or gender, but more about gender roles in society… and how people see themselves in those roles? Society says men have a place, to be gentlemen, open doors, pull out chairs, save the Damsel and all that stuff. I always felt it was just common courtesy, or the “right” thing to do. But where does that put us trans-ladies? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I grew up doing those things, and offering to help the girl at school with fixing the stereo, or the car… You know… being the hero! It’s more than just being a learned trait of a gender role, it’s just part of who I am as a person!

So enter a trans-man. Who regardless of who he was inside… was seen and treated as the Damsel for a long time. Now, years after transition, finally just gets to be himself in that role. But again… what about us ladies? Were this a cis guy, and I needed no help, I’d just say “thank you, but I’m ok on my own”. In this scenario… I really feel like I should let him be who he is, and do the things he offers, the same way I would want him to treat me like a woman in other respects. Don’t get me wrong, this guy is really amazing, sweet and helpful. Already setting up the next date, and offering help with my internet issues (though I don’t really need any.) It’s amazing being treated as a woman, now that I finally feel like one.

This is a total curve ball for me though, I never expected to be dating guys!

Thoughts???

Hugs,

Kay

[Sally]

I don't date to specific physical requirements so it doesn't matter to me.

I'm looking for a much deeper connection than purely physical.

Besides aren't we demanding to be accepted? Why should we rule out a section of our own community?

Love ya,

Sally

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Kay,

I am going to be moving in with my boyfriend Alex later this week, so yeah I am in a wonderful relationship, and therefore will give you my $.02. In my case, I grew up learning that gentlemen should hold the door for women, and all those other nice things gentlemen do. I always did those things when I could, and yet always deep down I kinda wished I was the lady in these situations. In my two previous long term relationships, it was with powerful strong minded women, and they did not want me to open doors for them or anything else like that. So I followed their wishes , with some misgivings about it.

Now of course, since I am living as a woman, it is very easy for me to take the deference offered to me as a lady. I am giving up male privilege, so I should get something out of the deal, lol. So, I am happy to let gentlemen open doors for me, and carry heavy things for me. I am also happy that Alex is able to be one of these gentleman, and I think it is good for him to take on this responsibility. Of course he is also getting male privilege in this bargain, so it is completely fair.

I am still so early in my full time, all of this is so new to me. Like waiting for the ladies room, it is an experience that is both new, and fascinating, and pleasing all at the same time. FTM and MTF dating? Yep, totally great IMHO. As usual YMMV.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I was never taught the roles, just expected to know them. I'm surprised given my uneducated childhood that I am the girl I am today.

I think that if a man, trans or cis, held the door for me, took my seat out for me at a restaurant, or any of those things described in the "gentlemanly ways" - treating me like a lady instead of a spectacle or sex object -, I'd be impressed and would likely go on another date with him. Carrying heavy things would definitely get him some respect in my books though I'd feel bad making him do it. I notice the little things so I suppose I'd be what's called "high maitenance".

My high standards are a form of respect; I HAVE to respect you or we're not going anywhere. bodybuilders or even just gym people (regardless of gender) really have my respect. Intelligence also demands respect from me.

Just my .02. In a nutshell, I'd date anyone if they made me respect them.

God Bless

Kayla <3

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I'm all for it.