She's Not There

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

i wouldn't have had the courage to join this site

if not for reading

she's not there: a life in two genders

by Jennifer Finney Boylan

[Sally]

Oh Naomi,

That book was an awakening for me - It almost paralleled my life exactlly! I never had children and my wife wasn't so understanding, but all other aspects including the music and teaching and I am a frustrated writer - oh, oh, oh - it was like reading an autobiography - the games and the girl planet!

I'm OK now, what an ispiration she was for me - my therapist gave me a copy to read - she thought it would help me to understand myself better - my therapist is a genius!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I loved that book. There are a whole list of good books on the subject of transsexualism.

A really good explanation book, one great for people other than transgender to read, is True Selves, by Mildred Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley.

I also liked My Husband Betty, by Helen Boyd, but the second book this author wrote, Shes Not the Man I Married, shows bitterness in her husband's desire to transition.

Many books are written about cross dressing but fewer about transgenderism... well... the non-clinical type books. Some start out about CD and evolve into TS - like Dress Codes: of Three Girlhoods by Noelle Howey.

Oh yes, and Trans-sister Radio, by Chris Bohjalian, which is fiction but is very much on target.

There are a great many other books, and I know this has been done before, but it would be nice to have a list of a few each one of us likes.

And there seemed a time when EVERY trans personality was writing an autobiography.

And Naomi, excuse the hijacking of your topic. Sorry

[Sally]

You have to watch out for Lizzie, she's know as the topic pirate! AARRRRRHH!

Did she ever tell you about her parrot and jewel encrusted pink eye patch?

Sorry Liz, but I can't see you as a hijacker - after all you are in the Big Easy and more than one pirate lived there!

Just joking, but a complete list would be great, I'll check with my therapist the next time that I see her, because she has a whole bookshelf full of transsexual, Cross Dressing and anything gender realated. (2 or 3 copies of each - she loans them to us!)

It might be a while, but I'll try to remember!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

yeah! Sally,

it paralleled my life too

especially the childhood portions

(my fantasies were mostly about time travel, but somehow i always ended up a girl, who would've thought!)

she's not there was hard for me to read, it cut too close to too many raw nerves

but i'm glad i read it!

though i'd like to read it again someday without having to stop and cry so often

and there's also a useful list of other tg related books in the back

any other favorite tg books Liz?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Back by Popular Demand? Well one person asked...

There are many books on the subject of cross dressing and a few on transexuality. Here are a few I have read and can recommend. There are hundreds that are more of an exploitation nature. These seem aimed at others (admirers and fetishists) rather than we true transsexuals and our supporters in our community - and those exploitive books should be avoided; but just because a book isn't on this list does not mean it is or isn't worthy - I still haven't read everything! Ha...

The Danish Girl by David Ebershoff - a biography of an earlier transsexual - really informative

As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl by John Colapinto - technically not a TS book but the issues are similar

Conundrum by Jan Morris - one of the first MTF autobiographies I ever read - it is dated but still talks about the issues - she is a British Travel Author

Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography by Christine Jorgensen - well, the most famous transsexual until Renee Richards - somewhat overdramatic

Suits Me: The Double Life of Billy Tipton by Diane Wood Middlebrook - oh this is a GREAT FTM biography - an early pioneer by default, no one knew

Second Serve by Renee Richards - okay, read it so you will understand what society thinks transsexal MTF is all about - dated and somewhat discouraging

Crossing: A Memoir by Deirdre N. McCloskey - My favorite MTF autobiograpy of them all - the first book that talks about facial reconstruction, new then

Stone Butch Blues: A Novel by Leslie Feinberg - militant feminist FTM -a bit raw

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein - also militant femanist FTM - but good reading

A Woman's Passion by Alan Barrie - fiction - I put this in here because it is an example of transsexual escapism literature, but not too graphic

A Secret Woman: A Mystery by Rachel Pollack - fiction - I put this in here as it uses transsexuallity as a sub-plot element and is nicely done

Luna by Julie Anne Peters - a book for teenagers - fiction - written from the viewpoint of the sister of a MTF transsexual - intended to be educational and is very successful - I wish there were books like this for all ages of society to read.

And my favorite transexual MTF how-it-works book:

How To Change Your Sex: A Lighthearted Look at the Hardest Thing You'll Ever Do by Lannie Rose - so on target - easy reading and humourous

Too late for your Christmas wish lists - maybe next year. Good reading!

[Sally]

Thanks for the list Liz!

You've been doing your research!

Naomi, you might not ever be able to read "She's Not There" without stopping to cry - it will always hit so close to home for those of us who try to be creative. She was successful in her chosen fields in both genders, so amazing.

She has written another book called "I'm Looking Through You, Growing Up Haunted: a Memoir", I haven't read it and I am almost afraid to, on her website just google it - very easy to find - she has a video introduction and while describing one room she makes this chilling statement, "My mother still lives here all of the others are ghosts, including me." I don't know if I am ready to handle that, she lived there as James, but even then to think of yourself as a ghost is a little too much for me right now.

Just thought I'd mention that one - it isn't listed with her other books, so it might be self published.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

Sally

i was looking for "growing up haunted" when i got my copy of "she's not there" but couldn't find it, i got the last copy of "she's not there" on the shelf and the last copy of Enya's newest CD

wow! was i nervous when i brought it to the register

the cashier expressed her disappointment, she wanted a copy of the Enya CD

when she saw the book, she paused

it seemed like a much longer pause than it probably was

then she gave me a huge warm smile!

that was fun, and a few hours later my heart slowed down too

Jennifer Boylan is coming to Seattle in March, but things are so up in the air right now, i don't know if i can make it, it sounds like i'd need to buy tickets now, but i'm not sure what my March schedule will look like and i don't have any money to spare at the moment... (she is such a great writer! regardless of the subject) it's a reading and panel discussion

thank you Liz for your wonderful list,

i don't think i need to wait for Christmas though, what about arbor day, that's coming up soon isn't it?

so ts books for my arbor day presents! what a great idea!

[Sally]

Wait a minute, Naomi,

Isin't Arbor day somehow related to the preservation of trees and books are made from-- nevermind books it is!

Any day is a good day to feed the mind and soul!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest CottonKiwi]

I love this book "She's Not There"

I came across it while wondering up and down the illes of the colton public library as i read it i found myself crying in public for the first time.

it is also the book that sparked my love for reading.

and to think all i was doing was evading yard work, some things a just ment to happen

[Guest Evan_J]

I'm keepin that whole list you kicked out Liz Never know when I might need a good read.

[Guest JustinLucas]

I read "she's not there" in my college Human Sexuality class and it prompted me to finally come out to my friends. I also met jenny boylan a few times and she signed my book. She's a great woman

[Guest Laura1977]

It was a bit dry, and wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I enjoyed reading parts of a book called Vested Interests by Marjorie Garber. It talked about crossdressing in literature and drama, and about how society looks the other way because they can't explain it, so they ignore it. It had an entire chapter discussing the overtones in Peter Pan, which I especially enjoyed.

[Guest doodle]

I have read a few of these books mostly they make me depressed and sometimes I cry. One I don't see listed which I have really enjoyed is Julia Serano's Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity

doodle

[Guest Geej]

The only the book of read (I never finished it) in the theme of this thread is "Myra Breckenridge"- fiction, back when I was a feshman in college. Not relly a good or well written book.

Cheers Geej

[Guest Cericonversion]

I have read a few of these books mostly they make me depressed and sometimes I cry. One I don't see listed which I have really enjoyed is Julia Serano's Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity

doodle

This is the book that gave me the clues to finish coming out to myself, so to speak. "Oh, yeah, this is who I am."

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well - this topic is still active! Wow

I would like to say the two best non-fiction transgender books, on fror you and one for the family, in this order

How To Change Your Sex- A Lighthearted Look at the Hardest Thing You'll Ever Do by Lannie Rose

True Selves

Are the best.

I am repeating this I know...

And She's Not There is a great inspiration.

Lizzy

[Guest Laura1977]

I just finished reading Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, and found it really helped me sort a lot of things out in my head. Like my decision not to transition, but to just be myself, as I am. I worked it out with the help of my therapist, that I am not really male or really female, but somewhere in the middle, and that I don't necessarily need a label for it. We call it "being purple" - neither blue nor pink.

I also read She's Not There. It made me cry, it made me laugh, and it scared the hell out of me.

[Guest 1charlotte1]

Yes! I love that book! I was actually thinking about posting a recomendation earlier! That's creepy that u posted this the same day I as thinking of posting it

It's an excellent book!

Hugz, charlotte

[Guest Melanieshaman]

Incredible book! I loved it read it a few years ago... as for the other books listed... i will be headed to Barnes and Nobles later lol

[Guest sarathompson]

I agree; amazing book! I added it to an online order a while ago as an afterthought - it was a 'bargain' book and was only a couple dollars. I have to admit that the book really opened my eyes to the fact that there *are* indeed other people out there that are experiencing similar situations. In fact, I'm rereading it right now!

Love,

Sara

[Guest Guest_SL]

i wouldn't have had the courage to join this site

if not for reading

she's not there: a life in two genders

by Jennifer Finney Boylan

I read that book standing up in one shot. As soon as I was finished, I went to Jenny's website and sent her a "No reply needed" thank you note for writing such an amazing book. It brought me here and validated some very deeply buried feelings.

Not more than five minutes after I sent the E, she sent a warm and personal reply.

The most humorous parts often made me cry and her wife's courage was and is awesome.

A life changing book if ever there was one.

Sara Lee

[Cyndee]

I loved that book and read it while camping on the WA coast during a stormy November I spent there. Her story telling is awesome. Her wife's acceptance is something I desperately want for my family. I picked up on a few themes in that regard that may help with my continual effort to build this type of understanding. Humor in the family setting is one of the keys to building acceptance, and Jenny was very good at articulating this, very gifted person. We also are about the same age, and both musicians, I found many familiar themes in this book. The part about the creepy guy stalking her at the end of gig, really sticks in my mind. I liked the chronological order and time lines, jumping back and forth between the present and past, creating the web of time, I really relate to putting time frames on events in life, so this writing style really resonated. I cried, I laughed, and I was inspired most definitely.

Cindy -

[Reagen]

I just finished this book. Wow! I loved jenny's journey. What a great book. I loved how she could get you to the point of almost crying and then make you laugh. I laughed and cried and was so touched with her struggle. I could relate to her on many levels. I would say this is a must read!

My 2 cents late as usual.

Love ,

~Rea