1st Time In The Mens Room

[Guest Evan_J]

.....when I was walking out a bunch of old ladies though I was a guy and called me a perv.

lol -now those are the kind of bathroom stories I love. Cuz guess what? You ARE a guy. Also tells you its time to change.

[Guest Christy.dancer]

Now my question for everyone out there is - What was it like your first time in the Mens room? (for FTMs) or Womens (for MTFs)? When did you actually 1st feel that you were yourself, just able to let loose, and not be self contous about your gender in public?

Well, first, congratulations are in order. If you can tolerate the average public men's rest room, you can put up with just about anything.

My first time was at the Bellevue Square Mall a couple of weeks ago with my friend, Becca. Pretty good comparison, since I've used several of the mens rooms at that mall many times. The ladies room was w-a-a-a-a-y cleaner, and smelled nicer. Also, even though Bellevue Square is in a VERY nice part of town (and fairly up-scale), I was always kinda nervous in the mens room (yeah, even as a boy) because there always seemed to be a couple of punk bad-asses in there. I know it was crazy, but I was always kinda nervous about being mugged or something. I don't have that fear in the ladies room.... frankly, that may subconsciously part of what drove me over the edge with my gender issues.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Yeah, that's about how I'm feeling right now. Although I've not had anyone say anything about me being in the men's room. What I'm worried about this that we have a fitness room at the hospital and the only way in and out is through the women's locker room or men's locker room. I don't want to make anyone at work uncomfortable so I change in the gender neutral bathrooms, but I sneak through the women's locker room. I really need to check with someone in HR about what to do about this. Only once in a while do I need to shower. Then what?

Part of my issue is that, being a student, I don't really have an HR department to go to. No one has really told me to use one bathroom or the other. When I came out to my advisor she just assumed (correctly) that I'd be using the men's room from then on. My discomfort comes from switching bathrooms when I haven't specifically come out to everyone in my department. Being a grad student puts you in a kind of a weird, "am I an employee or a student" limbo land.

Thankfully the medical school is next door and has gender neutral handicapped bathrooms. My only complaint is that it is a pain to have to take a 15 minute excursion every time I need to urinate. It adds up! If I spend too much time thinking about it I get angry. I just want to use the bathroom! You know? I know ya'll know.

I don't know what I'd do with that locker room/shower situation, Jackson. That's tough. The gym I belong to is really close to my house, so it isn't such a big deal to just go home. I avoid the school gym (even though it is free) because of the locker room thing. Again, if I think about it, I get all angry because locker rooms will probably never be a simple, straightforward thing for us.

Yesterday I got into this big discussion with a friend about how gender neutral bathrooms should be commonplace and perhaps even the standard. She disagreed. Her reason was that women needed a "man free" space so they could be safe, like a sanctuary. It really was like she thought that the base rate of men who are rapists was high enough that men should always be segregated from women for all matters that involve the potty.

My argument to her was that combined bathrooms might make men more conscientious with respect to cleanliness. The college I went to combined male and female dorms for this reason. They found that when you had a hallway that had 2 men's suites and 2 women's suites, the girls argued less and the guys were less destructive and dirty. My friend's response to that basically consisted of that same tired, old refrain that men are too dirty and dangerous to be trusted.

*sigh*

Bathrooms...

[Guest Jackson]

I told a couple friends (female) that I always took public restrooms for granted until now.

That kind of bothers me that women are like that when it comes to restrooms. I think that I'll end up making the women uncomfortable way before the men regarding the locker rooms. I don't actually change in them, but eventually I will. I would someday far in the future like to have the chance to shower as well, but really that's going to be way in the future.

Anyway, I'm just going to start using the men's locker room. I'm gonna have to real soon. I'm thinking that this weekend since I'm working the late shift and what are the chances of running into anyone in the locker room that late at night.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I told a couple friends (female) that I always took public restrooms for granted until now.

That kind of bothers me that women are like that when it comes to restrooms. I think that I'll end up making the women uncomfortable way before the men regarding the locker rooms. I don't actually change in them, but eventually I will. I would someday far in the future like to have the chance to shower as well, but really that's going to be way in the future.

Anyway, I'm just going to start using the men's locker room. I'm gonna have to real soon. I'm thinking that this weekend since I'm working the late shift and what are the chances of running into anyone in the locker room that late at night.

You are probably pretty safe late at night.

I'm going to have to just switch over to "men only" spaces. My therapist says that sneaking into the women's restroom/locker rooms undermines my transition and my confidence. Of course, he's right. Still, locker rooms are WAY more scary than restrooms. OMG. When women are in a locker room, there is a certain degree of modesty maintained at all times, despite it being a "women only" space. With men, as far as I've seen, it isn't like that so much.

[Guest Drew]

When women are in a locker room, there is a certain degree of modesty maintained at all times, despite it being a "women only" space. With men, as far as I've seen, it isn't like that so much.

yeah, men don't seem to have as much of a problem with stripping down and walking around, others be damned.

my first time in a men's room wasn't eventful at all. i was at some show with a friend and was in one of those "i don't care what or where it is as long as it has a toilet" situations......i only felt awkward walking out because i was more than aware that my ultra conservative family was around there somewhere

[Guest Evan_J]

Haven't been in the lockerroom, but men in general are less modest. "No reason" for them really if you think abou it. The one item that would be thought of almost every man is "proud of" in his own way lol.

[Guest Emily1]

yeah, men don't seem to have as much of a problem with stripping down and walking around, others be damned.

OMG, once after going swimming, I went to the locker room to put on a shirt, wrap my towel around my swimsuit, and put on shoes, and a REALLY old guy wearing nothing other than a speedo stepped out into the center area of the locker rooms, right where EVERYONE could see him, and pulled it down. He then took his time weighing himself before finally putting some clothes on. Let me just put it this way: right before I could jerk away, I caught sight of it, and that has scarred me for life. Usually, I can barely remember a couple weeks back (horrible memory), but I think that was several years ago, and I can still remember it perfectly. To keep it PG, it pretty much looked like the rest of him: wrinkly and with skin sagging slightly. EWWWWWWWW GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD :banghead:

Trying to forget,

Emily

[Guest Martin]

I believe I went into my first men's room at the Denver Museum of Natural History. I was scared because I had no idea how well I blended, and my cissexual friends and my MTF girlfriend mocked me and told me just to go. In the end I had to - we were a long ways away from Fort Collins, and I definitely needed to go. I don't remember what actually happened inside - it's been four years - but I don't anyone else was in there. I do distinctly remember the feeling of victory afterwards.

I'm still slightly nervous about going to the bathroom because I didn't blend consistently for a long time, and I'm still not sure if I do now. I think I do; I mean, I have facial hair, short head hair, a flat chest, etc. I'm just not sure. That said, nothing bad has ever happened to me there.

My first time in a men's locker room was this summer when I went to the hot springs in Ouray. I didn't see any changing rooms until I was leaving, so I just did my best not to expose myself when I was changing. That is, I faced towards the lockers and kept my shirt on until I had changed into my trunks. I didn't have money to lock the locker, but luckily no one stole my stuff. Afterwards, I showered with my trunks on because there weren't separate cabins. That didn't get me as clean as I'd like, but at least I was cleaner than before. At any rate, I got through it without incident.

I wonder how my relationship to locker rooms will change (or if it will change) once I've had my surgery. I mean, a meta is an unmistakable penis, but it is small. According to people I've talked to, no one would give me any trouble if they saw it because no man is going to admit he looked at my penis and I'm out of Junior High so having a small one isn't as big of a deal. Maybe I'd feel comfortable showering without my trunks. That said, I'm a shy, modest person, so maybe I wouldn't. I think either way, I'd feel safer in there.

[Guest MrAwesome]

Using the men's room still makes me nervous. In public isn't as bad as at school, which is more like work for me because I'm a grad student. For the past 4 years, I was known to be female (most assumed I was a butch lesbian) and used the women's bathroom. When people know you it is hard to make the switch. I guess I'd call the bathrooms I have access to at school to be more like semi-public. They are set up like public bathrooms, but the same people are using them each day. We don't get many people up on our floor who aren't grad students or faculty.

If I go in the men's room, people that kinda know who I am but don't know about my transition are like "Wha? OMG". If I use the women's room (which is much cleaner), then people who don't know me are like "Wha? OMG". I can't win. This "in between" phase I'm in is not cool.

Bottom line.... it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawkward no matter what I do.

I have it the same way... sorta. Cept peopel don't know that I'm not a boy in the mens room. I say you should just use the mens room cause you won't get clocked by an old lady with a hand bag... and maced. Better think you're a girl sneakin in the boys room than a pervert xP http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4tgJRzBxps lol! probably best to keep a hoodie on though and put the hood up so that no one recognises you at 1st