My Mum

[Guest Donna Jean]

Leo Said:

in 6 months ill be off to uni, i was planning on leaving mum and dad in the dark about my transition, but i dont think it would be right to do that.

Well, Leo..I can see that you still have that awful streak of maturity running through you! lol

Well, you continue to impress me...being honest and up front..very good qualities, young man!

You make me proud!

We're all still wishing you the best!

**HUGGS**

Donna Jean

[Guest leo]

lol sally, i bet your not im just a skinny little runt

thanks donna, i dont know whats happening to me, i wish everyone could see this side to me, they will in due time, that i promise

funny how im maturing now when things are at there worst

[Sally]

Leo,

Trust me plus sized is a polite term, I'm 6'4" and down to 328 pounds.

Actually most people either mature or fall apart completely when things are at thier worst.

To qoute Hawkeye Pierce, (for no good reason at all) "Some men are born to garbage while others have garbage thrust upon them!"

In other words you are dealing with your situation and that is the sign of maturity.

(I hadn't qouted anybody for a while and I always liked that one.)

You are a great young man and before too much longer everyone's going to know it not just us here in the playground.

You're so mature now that I can wonder off and leave you for a bit, if you need me I'll be on the monkey bars ---Wheee!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Marty]

I haven't even told my parents yet - and I'm still living at home!

They're both "older parents" (my mum's 65 and my dad's 78). Coming out to them would be like exploding a nuclear bomb in the house. I know I've got to do it sometime, but man, I'm bricking it. It's not something I can casually announce over dinner. My mum will freak big time, I know that. My plan is to come out to my friends first, and take it from there. Unfortunately, my therapist reckons it should be sooner rather than later!

Marty

[Guest leo]

where in england do you live marty? you lucky i havent even got a thearpist yet,

my parents kind of just found out so it wasnt planned

oh and how old are you

[Guest Marty]

I live in North Yorkshire - York.

I'm 27 - living at home mainly because I can't afford a place of my own. I think my parents go around with blinkers on regarding anything that isn't conventional. When I was a kid, I used to love it if people thought I was a boy - my mum hated it, and made me grow my hair till I was old enough to put my foot down. The trouble is, I've suffered with depression and anything "odd" that I say or do is immediately dismissed as being a sideshoot of depression. Even if I came right out and told them, it would probably be ignored or swept under the carpet. Right now, I feel trapped!

Marty

[Guest Evan_J]

.....I've suffered with depression and anything "odd" that I say or do is immediately dismissed as being a sideshoot of depression. .....

That actually is a typical response in this situation and please don't believe you're the only one that has to fight that. The problem is that most families don't understand (and sometimes just refuse to except) that often a good portion of that depression for a dysphoric person is originating out of the dysphoria and need to transition They often profess that they "want the person to get through being depressed" and yet are actually consigning them to the very depression by trying to hinder the transition.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Evan is exactly correct. Even if you have people who are supportive (Yeaa for them) they will NOT UNDERSTAND. Only we transgender can understand us transgender. The therapist work long and hard to understand - and they seem to catch on. But your family? Your parents? Your spouse? (maybe your children when they are young understand it better than we know) and Your friends? No way.

The Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual community? NO WAY

My Endocrinologist (for diabetes), my Family Practice Physician? No clue.

Even my good friend and two and one-half year post op former roommate in college - never a clue about me - but even though he is transsexual as I am, and MTF, we have a few problems communicating as he comes from a different place (never cross dressed) and is going to a different place (total stealth).

Its a problem - 'understanding,' and it's companion, 'acceptance.' I suppose that is why Laura's Platground is so important.

And when you are NOT especially empowered (dependant on your parents for example) then the big "DENIAL" sign pops up on their forehead. So wadda ya do?

I'll tell you this - never retreat. You are what you are - end of arguement. A very wise lady told me - this bus we are on? The reverse gear has long been stripped out!

Hey - am I opinionated or what! Grin

[Guest leo]

i feel the same, living with your parents does make you feel trapped

[Guest Stephan]

That actually is a typical response in this situation and please don't believe you're the only one that has to fight that. The problem is that most families don't understand (and sometimes just refuse to except) that often a good portion of that depression for a dysphoric person is originating out of the dysphoria and need to transition They often profess that they "want the person to get through being depressed" and yet are actually consigning them to the very depression by trying to hinder the transition.

Argh. That is the EXACT thing I'm going through. Depression and mental illness runs on both sides of my family so my mom assumes it's that. Sure, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if I did have depression. But being transgendered contributes to it A LOT. I just wish my mom would believe me when I say my gender dysphoria is making me depressed, not my depression making me wanna get a sex change!

Marty, you are definitely not alone.