Self Rlt

[Guest Aleckzandre]

I was just kind of wondering something

I've been living as male full time the best that I can for about 4 months now, but I decided to do it on my own, meaning I don't have a therapist. When I do get a gender therapist, will they make me start all over or will they consider the fact that I've been living as a boy for awhile?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hummmmm good question. I once asked if living full time at home counted (no). It seems what you are trying to certify for may determine what counts.. If you aren't under the care of a therapist you can't get your letters and stuff.

I know you need to have letters from your employer and such to have a documentation you have been living full time - that could possibly be without being in therapy - but you need a PhD therapist another therapist and a physician to sign for you to have SRS. Somewhere in the process you must begin therapy, so why put it off.

[Sally]

The time spent already could count depending on the therapist that you go to. I'm self employeed and she told me that it did not matter to her, because I do have to go out and interact with people on a regular basis. However, it doesn't really matter because you must be on hormones (HRT) for a period of one year before you can proceed, so get your therapist, get your T and continue living as male - you can't shortcut the requirements and you need letters for each step.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

Definately you're going to see variation therapist to therapist and state to state. As a FtM and in my state with the particular therapist I saw, his requirement was legal name change, male presentaton (ie binding or top surgergy with gender appropriate clothing) and publicly living as the name and male either in school or job -being on T was irrelevant for him to start counting your year to be referred for SRS. The majority of peeps tho -since "living as male" also includes the use of male restrooms and facilities- typically wanted to wait until they were on T though to gain more male appearances before having their year began.

I have a friend who since he was naturally flat, and got his name change asap started his year 2month before gettin his T referal. It varies therapist to therapist and state to state.

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

the point is, does he trust you? The best thing you can do is to go for the first meeting in male mode. That shows him that you are able to go public as a male. If this is not enough you can ask if he accept some papers from your friends that they can prove that you go out as a male.

What I do not know clearly up to now. What is the order of the transitions? Is it

1. Urges to change gender --> therapist --> getting HRT --> RLT --> SRS --> Happy

or

2. Urges to change gender --> therapist --> RLT --> getting HRT --> SRS --> Happy

As I know HRT can change your body permanent for the rest of your life. So it make sense to have RLT first. But RLT first without HRT make it really hard to pass and having a normal live in the new gender. So the test itself is not a REAL life test animore because you can not pass as easy as real person in that gender.

Greetings

Nelly

[Sally]

My point was that how long you are on RLT with or with out a therapist doesn't really make any difference because the standards of care requires one year on HRT (which requires a letter from a therapist) before you can get the SRS letters. Two are required, one from your therapist and one from a PHD, they are not going to say, OK you've been on the RLT for one year and HRT for two months - here are your letters. Start with the therapy, get your T and a year from THAT DATE you can get your letters. So while the months already my count on your RLT, in the whole process it doesn't make any difference because you have not started on T or a therapist's care.

So, to recap: Get a therapist, get your letter for T, start on T and the clock starts!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

standards of care requires

That actually was why I answered that it varies. The standards of care cannont "require" anything honestly They're standards -that means a guideline, not a regulation- and are very much open to interpretation by the therapist and or/physicians. And truthfully, if you had a trans person who it was determined could not medically take T but they fulfilled the other criteria you could arguably refer for SRS without ever being on hrt.

[Guest Aleckzandre]

Thanks everyone, I'm gonna start looking for therapists.

[Guest Little Sara]

That actually was why I answered that it varies. The standards of care cannont "require" anything honestly They're standards -that means a guideline, not a regulation- and are very much open to interpretation by the therapist and or/physicians. And truthfully, if you had a trans person who it was determined could not medically take T but they fulfilled the other criteria you could arguably refer for SRS without ever being on hrt.

Evan is right, though such places as CAMH and the NHS take it as if it was the law. The NHS Charing Cross have sued a doctor not even working for them for not respecting the SoCs to the letter.

I've been on HRT for nearly three years, full-time for a tiny bit longer. I have no therapist currently. I've been working since July 2008.

Things such as this make me wonder:

Being a housewife/househusband/stay-at-home, how does that fit in a RLT? Your "employer" would be your partner, but it would look like self-employment or even unemployment to many.

Many people cannot for some reason work. Such as disabilities.

Some people don't want to do RLT and have been able to get SRS through SoC-compliant surgeons even then.

Requiring name change in some places takes a ton of work. Places such as Quebec province or Germany, require an official GID diagnosis, and proof of hormonal therapy - before a name change will be granted. Germany is more stringent really, but I don't live there.

Requiring a year - from the time of legal name change - is asking much. I personally thought my RLT would be affected by mismatched name, but it barely is so (its just an annoyance when you have to deal with people who won't or can't recognize a non-legal name). I can use the correct bathrooms (and have no therapist pass). My ID card and schedule at work both mention my new (non-legal) name. No one treats me as if I were male, which is great.

Schools might be something else (since your name is called like, all the time, if its unchanged...).

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

I think that the idea of the RLT is to show to yourself that the chosen gender is the right gender. But I also think that a RLT with a bad passing is not a real RLT because you allways have the reading problem and you must not test your new chosen gender you must test the life as a freak.

But I still think that RLT test is good to find the right gender and finding the right gender is also possible at home. If you are working at home or you are a house man/woman, than you also have moments to go out.

For me the worst thing is the voice. I try and try and I am not able to find my female voice yet. So if I go out as a woman everbody notice me as a man if I start talking. So no talking would be a solution. I found out that talking is not necessary. Make the RLT easier but more real?

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Hi,

I think that the idea of the RLT is to show to yourself that the chosen gender is the right gender. But I also think that a RLT with a bad passing is not a real RLT because you allways have the reading problem and you must not test your new chosen gender you must test the life as a freak.

But I still think that RLT test is good to find the right gender and finding the right gender is also possible at home. If you are working at home or you are a house man/woman, than you also have moments to go out.

For me the worst thing is the voice. I try and try and I am not able to find my female voice yet. So if I go out as a woman everbody notice me as a man if I start talking. So no talking would be a solution. I found out that talking is not necessary. Make the RLT easier but more real?

Greetings

Nelly

I have voice issues too, I cant seem to get my voice out of the bass it has been for 30 years. I found if I soften the tone of it, that is take the male edge off and sound less like a drill sgt my former partner says I sound ok.

[Guest angie]

I was just kind of wondering something

I've been living as male full time the best that I can for about 4 months now, but I decided to do it on my own, meaning I don't have a therapist. When I do get a gender therapist, will they make me start all over or will they consider the fact that I've been living as a boy for awhile?

Oh Honey,

Your therapist will know you are a transman by how you dress walk and talk GUY.

A good therapist,would not even consider trying to make you express who you are no longer.

Going it alone,with no body to talk to that fully understands,can be rough,but not unheard of.

A therapist is good to have for that all important letter of reference to Start HRT.And recommending

the top surgery men have to have.Remember,present as who makes YOU comfortable,not them.

Hugs,

Angie