Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I did it now I wait


Guest LadySophia

Recommended Posts

Guest LadySophia

As I've been saying the last few weeks, I've been wantin to come out to the rest of my friends. I have one I've told and she's so accepting. But I have my 4 best friends all males who I've known for quite some time, and a couple more girl friends, and it's time I tell them. I think the girls will be accepting, the guys I'm not so sure about except one who seems to be accepting of lgbt matters. Anyway I told them all I had something very important to tell them, and then sent them an email. I felt this was the perfect time as we have a long 3 day weekend.

This is the email I sent.

"I am writing this email because as I told you earlier, I have something very important to tell you. Being my best friends I think it is only fair that I let you know what is going on in my life.

What I am about to tell you my come as a shock to you all. I've been dealing with this for quite sometime now, since I was very young and it s time I come clean and be true to myself. I know some of you may not understand. My greatest fear is that this will make you feel uncomfortably around me, and you will reject. I would hate to lose you as a friend as you've meant so much to me over the past few years.

It's time I tell you that I am transsexual and I've been dealing with a condition called gender dysphoria. I know this may not make sense to you, so I will explain it to you the best I can. What this means is that I was born with the brain of a female but born with the body of a male. I consider myself a female and over the past few months I have seeked professional help and am taking the necessary steps to phyaically change my body to that of female. The things that science can do now is incredible and I will be able to transition to looking like a female and not a boy in a dress like some of the people you may see on Jerry springer.

Explaining what it feels like to be transgender to someone who does not have this condition is somewhat impossible. The only thing I can compare it to is if you were asked to explain the color blue to a blind man. I understand it may take awhile to understand and I am willing to wait.

The only thing I have left to say is, if you have any questions, no matter what it is ask. Now matter how dumb you may think it is, ask and I will answer.

I look forward to hearing from you and I hope this will not affect our relationship in a negative and remember I am changing my gender but not my personality. I will be the same person you've known for the last few years."

And now I wait for response and I'm really nervous, I swear I be felt my phone vibrate 5 times in the last 5 minutes but when I look nothing's there.

As nervous as I am, I'm also excited because I feel I red to be full time ASAP.

Anyway no turning back now for this girl.

I'll give you updates as I get responses.

Link to comment

Congratulations LadySophia!

That is such a huge leap to take.

I wish you success, acceptance and happiness on your journey.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

Link to comment
Guest -guest-

Wow...I hope everything goes well. Anticipating the responses must be nerve-wracking!

That's a huge step, and I'm sure it's going to be a great relief for you as well.

Link to comment
Guest Amber Lynn

Good for you, Sophia! I know the wait can be really nerve-racking...

Please, let us know what happens. I'm excited for you and keeping my fingers crossed! :)

Gina

Link to comment
Guest LadySophia

Got my first response from my friend Lauren, in a text.

"Awwww this must have been so hard for you to do girl and I'm honored to be one of the ones you told first, do you mind if I come over to talk?"

So far so good :) :) :) :)

Link to comment
Guest LadySophia

Ok well Lauren is over and she just met Sophia for the first time, and I invited her to the shopping trip this weekend, she's been so great today and she says hello to you all btw.

I also got two more responses one great and or not so great my friend Jon, who I though would be accepting texted and said "great, now I have to change your name in my phone. JK, good for you on finally becoming who you are. But seriously what do I call you." I told him Sophia :) and we talked for a little bit, and he asked a bunch of questions.

The next response wasnt directed to me. Lauren texted her best friend, Danielle, one of the girls I emailed and asked if she got my email and she said its wierd and won't want to be seen with me because of what people at school would think of them hanging out with a boy trying to look like a girl. Lauren told her I did look like a girl and pretty one too and Danielle responded with "ya I doubt it".

Lauren and her got in a little bit of a fight, and that's the one thing I didn't want, two good friend s to fight over my issues.

Link to comment
Guest -guest-

Lauren and her got in a little bit of a fight, and that's the one thing I didn't want, two good friend s to fight over my issues.

Maybe that will pass, although it sounds as if she's more worried about what people will think than anything you might be going through.

Link to comment
Guest Guest_

Sophia: Let me first say what a beautiful young women you are. I would say if you were reincarnated you would come back as lioness due to fact that your courage is so strong to recoginize who you really are and that you want to be open to your most precious gifts you have (Your Friends). Please dear give them all the time they need for this is all new to them. Life is full of good and bad moments. On our road there is always a hill to climb, a curve to go around, or a bump that we try to avoid, but then there is that long straight away that we can travel down with ease and enjoy the scenery, and that is when life and our journey is best. I see a very powerful women developing inside of you who has the future just waiting for her to enjoy life. God Bless You.

Amber L.

Link to comment
Guest deadking

That's awesome Sophia!

I hope everything goes well with your friends, I know coming out can be difficult ;>

- Ty

Link to comment

Sophia.

I forgot to mention that patience is the key.

We have dealt with our issues our whole lives and we are ready to come out now.

Our friends and families are just finding out about us today.

They will need time to understand what they were just told.

Just my 2 bits worth.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

Link to comment
Guest nomnomnom

Congratulations Sophia, they should all be accepting after a while, especially once they see how much happier you are as female.

I did say that they would feel honoured for being some of the first people to know. And Jon's response was funny.

Link to comment

Sophia, very few of us get through transition without losing friends. Still I agree with Joann that patience is the key. Your friend Danielle actually sounds a little immature if she is afraid of what others think about associating with you. In any case if someone can't accept you for who you are, are they really your friend?

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

Link to comment
Guest LadySophia

Thank you all so much for your support, not just today's but from the very beginning, I can't tell you how much it's meant to me and I can honestly say I wouldn't be here without all of you. Thank you

Sophia

Link to comment
Guest rexxmarksley

Congratulations on having the courage to come out. It takes a lot and I'm really proud of you for being able to do it!

I'm sorry to hear that two of your friends are fighting a little over it right now but it should pass. Sometimes people are shocked by the news and don't quite know how to respond. Hopefully the dust will settle in a little while. Although, sometimes we grin and bear the tough parts of it all to become who we truly are.

I'm glad most of your friends were very accepting of it though and I wish you all the best of luck in your transition

Aaron :)

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

Some people worry more about what the neighbors will think of them for associating with a trans person than about the trans person. Often this passes but occasionally it doesn't. Overall though it sounds like things are going well for you! Congratulations!

Link to comment
Guest Amber Lynn

Sophia,

It sounds like your responses so far have been mostly positive! While Danielle's response was less than great, like Jenny says, it seems to be out of immaturity more than anything. Unfortunately, I think that a little bit of turmoil is normal when coming out about something so big, so don't worry about the fight, it's not your fault and it will pass one way or another. Be happy that you have friends that are so quick to stand by you!

Happy for you hon!

Gina

Link to comment
Guest LadySophia

Ok well I got the last 3 responses and I'll start with the bad news, one of my "friends" told me that I would never be a girl, and that's it's probably a good idea if I didn't go through with it. He is looking out for my best interest an people are gonna think I'm a freak and to just be a boy. It's funny because it doesn't seem like he's looking out for my best interest.

Now on to the good news, my best friend Jerry, who I have known since I was 5 said he was shocked and that I hid that very well but he accepts me and he came over for a bit. I was already dressed and I wasn't gonna change when he got here the look on his face was priceless when he saw me. He just said "wow, I didn't even recognize you", And we sat and talked for a bit with Lauren, and she was joking with him, saying that I'm gonna start hanging with the girls more then him, and I re assured him that it wasn't true. He only stayed a little while and when he left he showed some concern and said it was gonna be tough to get used to but he'd try.

Finally the last friend replied and is accepting and revealed that his uncle is a ftm transsexual and that he never told us because he was afraid that we would judge his uncle. Funny how that worked out.

But over all this has been an amazing day I told 6 people today and 4 are accepting. I d say that is as good as it gets, and I'm so so excited. I am such a lucky girl to have accepting friends. I have been dreading this for the past few months and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally move on and start living my life.

This is just one step, and this allows me to cross one thing off my list to go full time this summer.

Up next for me is another GT appointment this weekend and I'm excited to tell her the big news.

Finally I want to thank you all again for your support.

Sophia :) :) :)

Link to comment
Guest Sarah Faith

That's great news Sophia! Coming out is definitely challenging so good for you for getting the courage to do it! 4 out of 6 isn't bad, but give it time one or both of them may come around I had people who rejected me when I came out change their minds as time went on. Sadly though there will be those that just will not accept it, I recently got back in touch with some old friends of mine and most were shocked by the new me but overwhelmingly supportive but a few even one who was a VERY close friend were not. Like others have said the loss of some relationships is more or less inevitable, but if they are so small minded they cannot accept you regardless then it is better for them to move on.

Congrat's hon, sounds like your on track to be where you want to be by the next school session! :)

Sarah

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 73 Guests (See full list)

    • Birdie
    • KathyLauren
    • MaryEllen
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,128
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alisa Anne
    Newest Member
    Alisa Anne
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alin RP
      Alin RP
      (27 years old)
    2. CipherKai
      CipherKai
      (48 years old)
    3. Dawn2020
      Dawn2020
      (75 years old)
    4. Irwin
      Irwin
      (18 years old)
    5. luke_b
      luke_b
      (21 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Animal Crossing is fun.
    • Ivy
      Yes. I appreciate y'all mods and what you do for us - including reining me in when I'm heading in a bad direction.
    • April Marie
      I could not agree more or be more appreciative of this. As one who has come out to only a few people, here I can truly be myself with little fear of inadvertent exposure. Having that ability has helped me to find myself and to gain confidence in expressing my true self. It has helped me to love myself, something I could never do before.
    • Vidanjali
      I appreciate this so much and it's one of the reasons why this community feels like home - a rare treasure among the world wide web. 
    • VickySGV
      As far as things being lost on the Web, accidents happen, Just here alone, I have 20,825 posts showing in my number count, but probably only 19K of them are still actually here to view.  There was a change to a new server a number of years ago, and a segment of the data base they were in became locked and could not be transferred to the new drive in the servers we use now.  Why or how that segment of the data base became locked has not been figured out in the time since but at least we know what happened and it was not intentional or aimed at a single element of behavior here.  Data accidents happen with not one single person really responsible for them or for that matter even the computer itself.  Frustrating as all get out when it happens, but it does happen.  Some other electronics I work on as a hobby had their similar problems here a couple days ago because of the Solar Flares, and power outages or dips in voltage can make electronic life miserable.
    • Carolyn Marie
      This is very true, Jani.  The original owner of this site, Laura, and her chief assistants, developed our community rules more than 15 years ago.  They have been modified many times, to take into account changing tastes, mores, technical issues and legal issues.  Sites such as TikTok and X didn't exist then.  Our naughty word filter, as just one example, has been modified many, many times.   On this site, as on most private sites, in order to become a member one must agree to the T's & C's and abide by, in our case, the "Community Rules."  If you seriously violate those rules your membership can be terminated.  So, yes, freedom of speech here is restricted.  Some sites are lax about enforcement, but that has never been the case here.  We guard the safety of members, and your emotional comfort, zealously.  We aren't perfect and sometimes let things get out of hand, or we go too far with restrictions, but those instances are uncommon (IMO).   Every site has different standards.  Luckily, for every interest there are numerous sites and it's usually easy to find one that fits your needs and temperament.  When it comes to the Internet, one size does not fit all.   Thanks for your question, @Ladypcnj.   Carolyn Marie
    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Jani and Vidanjali, it helps me understand more. 
    • Vidanjali
      If I take time to type something up which I find personally important or impactful, I will first type it on a Word document or on the notes app on my phone and save it before sharing it online if the intention of the writing was to be shared in that way. Indeed, it is extremely frustrating for that sort of work to vanish when it was an emotional experience to have recounted and written it. But if it does happen, my advice would be to try to focus on having had the personal catharsis of transforming the thoughts into words. Even if the writing has vanished, your intention was acted out. You cannot control the results, whether it disappeared or not. So we can try our best to focus on gratitude for having been able to express what was expressed in the way it was expressed, rather than disappointment over it not bearing the fruit we expected it to. From a higher point of view, all things of this world are non-permanent. So when something like that happens, at best we can view it as an opportunity to practice mitigating grief over non-permanence of all things. All this is easily said - I acknowledge it is challenging. But without challenge, we do not grow.   As far as freedom of speech is concerned, my view is that implicit in freedom of speech is duty in exercising that freedom responsibly. That means applying ethics to speech. One may ask, "whose ethics?" which is a valid question. The answer is, your ethics. If you wish to participate in a community with a specific code of rules or ethics, it is up to you to use your art and skill to express yourself within that framework. Of course in certain contexts it becomes imperative to speak up, breaking the rules - blowing whistles as it were. But that likewise should be done skillfully as much as possible. If one feels unduly constrained within a community ethical framework, one may also exercise their freedom to not participate in that community. It is a balance, like anything else in life. There is no ethical framework which is ideal because this is not an ideal world. So, tldr; do your best and make good decisions.
    • Jani
      As a private platform the owner can limit what is said on this space.   I'm sure someone with more authority and/or insight into this issue will chime in. Jani   “A few narrow categories of speech are not protected from government restrictions. The main such categories are incitement, defamation, fraud, obscenity, child pornography, fighting words, and threats. As the Supreme Court held in Brandenburg v. Ohio (1969)   The Freedom of Speech is one of the most essential tenants of American democracy, yet that right is not absolute. The First Amendment prohibits States from passing laws that “abridge the Freedom of Speech.” Thus, because Platforms are private businesses, individuals cannot use the First Amendment to pursue recourse against censorship on a private platform.”
    • Ivy
      I've heard of this being done.  It seems like a good idea, I mean the gas is already there.  I don't see why it couldn't be done on a larger scale.  The technology already exists.  I expect the problem would be coordinating it all, and who does that.  We're all so determined to protect our own turf, myself included.
    • Willow
      Good morning   my body and my mind kept waking me up saying hey aren’t you supposed to be getting up now since about 4am. I finally got up at 8:20 to get ready for my 10am shift.  I guess your wake up system gets into a habit and doesn’t like change.off tomorrow, then work Memorial day.    We got rain and a bit of thunder last night. Nothing too bad, unlike the poor people in the Midwest. They are really getting hammered with tornadoes this spring.  I suppose we’ll get ours later on.  It’s supposed to be a bad hurricane season and we haven’t had a really bad one in quite a few years.  The worst I’ve seen was a Cat 3 when the eye went right over us.     I stayed and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but a 5? Now that’s another story.  I really don’t know how these condos will hold up to a bad hurricane.  Yes there is bracing throughout but how well was any of it installed?  Only the tradesmen plumbing electricians finish craftsmen spoke English the rest were all Hispanic and different emigrants worked together on different parts of the buildings.  One group did the framing and sheathing another different crew the roof, another the windows and so on.  Each building is 4 stories 18 units.  On the bottom we have four units with double walls but the top two are 5 each and no double walls.    @Mirrabooka I didn’t see many Reds, Roos or grasshoppers when I was in Australia.  I was mostly in Tasmania where they are mostly Wallabies.  My wife got to hold a young Tazzy Devil and a Koala Bear and I’ve held a wombat.  An emu got the best of my wife stealing all the food she had.   time to get ready for my day   Willow      
    • Birdie
    • Mirrabooka
      I yam wot I yam! Yeah!
    • Ladypcnj
      As we know online rules are usually created by a team of people, basically the guideline rules are to keep everything running smoothly, and everyone is treated equally, and most importantly the code of conduct to make sure no rules are broken. My concern is, what happens when the online community rules (in general speaking) can have an impact on the freedom of speech? Perhaps it might had been artificial intelligence, that took down a post I made on the internet, somewhere else. I know I haven't broken any rules, I was sharing a true story experience I had about online safety, so it doesn't happen to anyone else.. then the post was taken down. I felt to frustrate the time and energy I've spent typing out my experience what happened to me, and then poof it was gone  lol  What can I do about this? lol
    • Mirrabooka
      @Heather Shay you keep opening these cans of worms!!! 😄   I'm not a musician; I've barely strummed a guitar ever, but I LOVE music.    As far as influential voices go, I invite you to consider these homegrown guys, who continue to give me earworms. I hope that you listen to and can appreciate them:   Jimmy Barnes   Daryl Braithwaite   Very best: John Farnham  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...