MTF starting RLE

[Guest applefritter]

I dont know if everyone else had to do it before HRT, but I gotta go through RLE.

It seems somewhat unethical to make someone who looks like a guy live completely like the opposite gender. But I need help. The city I live in is kind of small, the chances of bumping into someone you know are pretty high. I cant move out of another 6 months, but I cant live like this anymore. I am still in highschool, I go to a small school, but the only thing is some of the people in that school bullied me throughout my life. My only option for RLE right now is at work. I guess im lucky, as my manager assumed I was a female when I first got hired despite my name being matthew and dressing boyish. They figured it out eventually, but my coworkers knew I was a boy. But I still cant help but being really nervous. I dont know what my co-workers will think, I want to move into the metro where I dont have to see my peers from school before I go full on transitioning. I already go by Lizzy by my friends, but not my family which this topic is one that is avoided by everyone. I cant dress overly female because my parents dont want me to confuse my sister or something dumb.

I just am so stressed and confused on what to do ;-; whether to take it full on, or to kinda go stealth. A lot of people know I guess, but most of its an issue of self consciousness, and not wanting weird looks. That and whenever I dress up all fancy, my shoulders seem to bug me ;-; Anyone have any guidance or comments on the situation? Like should I or could I go about this full on or wait until I can move out? If so I probably need a wardrobe change and dont know what I should wear. How do I handle people who are mean too :S

`

I dono thats what I look like

http://imgur.com/9VhU3Xu,PZwG32A,2qP1yJE,O9Mnivq theyre all a few months apart.

I was put on lupron in october :S My voice isnt deep at all which is lucky. I dont mean to be attention whorey Im just like in a self conscious state, and have no idea if its doable or unnecessary anxiety for me to go full transitioning now. Sorry if I anger anyone or im posting in the wrong section or something.

I originally posted this on susans, but I kinda like this websites layout better so Ill post here more I think D:

First post on either forum. Dont really know what to expect

[Guest angels wings]

Hello lovey , firstly why would you anger someone we are here to support each other so relax . Ok here is my two cents worth .are you seeing a therapist one who understand gender ? If not this should be your first step as a therapist and help guide you in all choices you need to make as you walk through this journey . They can even be helpful on how to go about it in schools .

The next thing is everyone's situation is different no one can truly tell you when is the right time for you .only you will know that .

And the last thing I want to mention is you look great you have a lot of feminine features I had to look again to see what your status reads .smile lovey small steps you will get there

Angel

[KathrynJulia]

Only a therapist completely out of touch with the recommended guidelines of WPATH-7 would attempt to have someone do RLT as a condition of securing a letter for HRT. It's no longer required or recommended. Sounds like your therapist needs to do some reading.

In the meantime, seek a 2nd opinion from a different Gender Therapist, preferably someone conversant with the current Standards of Care. In fact download it and present it to your therapist. It can be found here:

http://www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%20of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdfdemand

If they can read the standards and still demand RLE, change to a different therapist. You decide when to begin RLE. When you are ready. Kathryn

[Carolyn Marie]

AF, I certainly agree that this requirement being imposed on you needs an explanation. You are entitled to that. I won't go so far as to say you should change therapists, but you are entitled to have a therapist that you are comfortable with, who is informed, communicates with you about important issues, and who you feel has your best interests at heart. They work for you, hon, not the other way around.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

Ok, the Canadian health care system is DIFFERENT from several other parts of the world so I cannot comment on how much good shoving a book in the face of one of their therapists would be, but I agree you need to be comfortable with a therapist to work with them. Even if you have no choice, ask the therapist what they will consider to be RLE and then ask their help in dealing with the stress this causes. The therapist may see a logical inconsistency there, and have a good chuckle with you, and come more to your way of thinking. As for the school bullying, get on your school counselor or headmaster until they get the adult staff to do something constructive in the way of knocking the stuff off.

Another issue to RLE, is simply your attitude about it. It took me ages to get up the guts, but one day, I just did my hair a little different, put on lipstick and went out into the world scared as all get out, but knowing I looked and was ready to act as a very real person for once in my life. I smile, I am gentle, I am attentive to other people, I have compassion and humor that I never felt I could show as a male. I began to show all of those things often and openly, and others realized a happiness. I am no longer afraid to show intelligence, or vulnerability, but not weakness!! Very little about my real physical appearance changed, but my attitude was what made the real person. On HRT, my falsies got replaced with real tissue and not Kleenex tissue, (which got me a recent biopsy for possible breast cancer, it was negative thank heaven.) the other parts of me did change a bit, but none of it mattered as much as just how I began to look at life.