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Really nervous about upcomming hearing.


Guest Sarah Faith

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Guest Sarah Faith

Well in just two weeks I have my hearing for my legal name change, they only do it at 8am every friday and I'm scheduled for the 21st. I have to admit I'm starting to feel really nervous about it! I've never really even been in a courtroom, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect! It's been awhile since I've really felt anxious about something but this has me feeling that way a little again. I haven't even had to do jury duty, when I get my summons Ive never been called in!

I'm not sure what I should even wear to my hearing, or if I should even bother wearing anything more than my usual jeans and tee. Was just wondering if anyone who's done the whole name change hearing thing could share their experiences a bit so I could at least have some idea what to expect. :)

Hugs,

Sarah

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Guest Lizzie McTrucker

I got to this part "or if I should even bother wearing anything" and thought omg yes you can't go naked!

The court room is a professional work environment for people in the legal system so you should dress at least a little nice. No need for a suit, leave that to the lawyers, but you should dress business casual. You're making a court appearance so you should look nice.

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  • Admin

The rule of thumb is "what would I wear to conduct serious business with a professional person?" As a retired court clerk (among other things), my suggestion is to wear something that you would wear to apply for a nice job. You do not have to go as far as the business suits an attorney would wear, but if you have a nice solid color skirt with a top that is comfortable, and maybe a plain color sweater over it, stockings and flats, you would look great and be very appropriate.

You will most likely be called forward inside "the bar" and sworn in by the clerk. Follow the clerk's instructions on where to stand, and take a deep breath. The court reporter will ask for current name and may be your city of residence. The judge will ask a couple of questions, mostly about whether you are changing your name to hide from a creditor or law enforcement issue. The answer will be a simple "No" or "No your honor!!" They may also ask if you are doing this of your own free will as an adult. Answer is "Yes" or "Yes your honor". There should not be any point at which you need to divulge your status as Transgendered.

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Guest Sarah Faith

Thanks Liz, and thanks Vicky that really does help quite a bit! :) I do hope that it goes that smoothly I'm not really super used to public speaking and I know there will be other people there probably.. I'll just have to deal with it. With any luck the whole trans thing won't be an issue, but colorado is a pretty trans friendly state so with any luck it wont be at all. I do actuallly own a black knee length skirt with some white and black blouses, I just haven't really worn it for anything yet I suppose I had the hearing bugging me somewhere in the back of my mind when I bought them last week.

I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks :)

Oh Lizzie, as for going nude sounds like a nightmare I had once or twice when I was a kid going to school. I definitely will be wearing clothes. :)

Hugs,

Sarah

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Guest rexxmarksley

Although I don't really have much advice on this topic I just want to wish you all the best of luck, I'm sure it will all be ok and worth it in the end.

I'd probably wear what I'd wear to an interview or meeting, something semi-formale.

Also, just a little comment I've never said before, you look absolutely lovely in your picture!

Aaron :)

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Guest Sarah Faith

Aw, thanks on both things Aaron! :) I'm sure it'll be fine just nerves acting up on me, and my mind having so much time to think about it I end up dreaming the worst possible scenarios. lol

Hugs,

Sarah

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  • Forum Moderator

Dress nicely and show that beautiful smile. You are passing another obstacle! I'm sure you will let us know how it goes but best of luck from me.

Hugs,

Charlie

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  • Admin

The black skirt and white blouse is simple and very appropriate. You will do fine. I hate to say this, but the judges are really pretty bored with this type of job and want it over as bad as you do.

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Guest angels wings

Put a smile on head up high and you will be fine lovey .wishing you all the best Sarah

Angel :). ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))) filled with peace

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Guest Megan_Lynn

Sarah , You have this in the bag. You are gonna walk in there and charm them into doing your will. The force is strong in you...hehe

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Do yourself a favor and be prepared.

Outside failing to file some required piece of paper or take some specific action, most of the times these things are pretty straightforward and nothing to worry about.

What did you file as reason for name change? Did you state you were transitioning? Or just state it is a preference?

If you stated you were transitioning in the application, did you furnish a note from your doctor or therapist supporting the assertion? A judge may not require it and often doesn't, but if you are making a claim that suggests it is part of medical treatment and if you state transition it may be presumed to be medical, the judge could ask for evidence.

If you didn't say you were transitioning on the application that is fine, but the nature of the change may cause the judge to ask about it. How do you intend to answer? Be prepared with an answer.

And if the answer you furnish is that you are transitioning, be prepared with documentation.

Also, if this is the only time name changes are handled, if the question comes up, are you comfortable explaining in front of others in the court room? Having a letter prepared (better one from therapist) explaining the situation could allow you to pass that up. Now the judge may accept it into the record or like I saw once, read it into the record...oh well...in front of everyone...but at least you aren't trying to explain. You may be asked to affirm what the letter states.

If you are ready for that and got your ducks in a row you will do fine.

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Guest Sarah Faith

Thanks everyone :) Hopefully all will go well!

Do yourself a favor and be prepared.

Outside failing to file some required piece of paper or take some specific action, most of the times these things are pretty straightforward and nothing to worry about.

What did you file as reason for name change? Did you state you were transitioning? Or just state it is a preference?

If you stated you were transitioning in the application, did you furnish a note from your doctor or therapist supporting the assertion? A judge may not require it and often doesn't, but if you are making a claim that suggests it is part of medical treatment and if you state transition it may be presumed to be medical, the judge could ask for evidence.

If you didn't say you were transitioning on the application that is fine, but the nature of the change may cause the judge to ask about it. How do you intend to answer? Be prepared with an answer.

And if the answer you furnish is that you are transitioning, be prepared with documentation.

Also, if this is the only time name changes are handled, if the question comes up, are you comfortable explaining in front of others in the court room? Having a letter prepared (better one from therapist) explaining the situation could allow you to pass that up. Now the judge may accept it into the record or like I saw once, read it into the record...oh well...in front of everyone...but at least you aren't trying to explain. You may be asked to affirm what the letter states.

If you are ready for that and got your ducks in a row you will do fine.

Drea, I actually do have a note on my doctors prescription letterhead that I am transitioning and currently on HRT in my purse. She wrote it for me incase I ever had issues with my ID not matching my face for example getting pulled over. So If asked I could share that, but yes I did put transitioning as the reason for name change. I didn't add it to my petition when I filed it or anything as evidence the clerk said I had everything in order so hopefully that is the case.

Sarah

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Guest angels wings

Ok I'm sorry how on earth I thought it was today how could two weeks go so quick :/ oh dear I'm sorry silly Angel ;)

Angel ;)

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Guest Sarah Faith

No worries Angel. :)

If it had been today then Id think it was another child hood nightmare or something... Where Id have 2 weeks to study for something and dream those 2 weeks just disappeared! lol

But yeah I have two weeks from today until my hearing.

Sarah

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Guest angels wings

Cool you can count sheep but don't sheer them in frustration as you wait . Before you know it you will have it all done

Angel :)

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Guest Billie De

You'll do Fine hun.. Like everyone said Dress and act accordingly and it will be over before you know it. Keep us informed.. I am right behind you in that arena. Still waiting on CBI to get my Background Check back so I can file.. At the rate they are moving I will have SrS before my Name change.

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Guest Sarah Faith

You'll do Fine hun.. Like everyone said Dress and act accordingly and it will be over before you know it. Keep us informed.. I am right behind you in that arena. Still waiting on CBI to get my Background Check back so I can file.. At the rate they are moving I will have SrS before my Name change.

Yeah the FBI background check was way faster then the court said they would be, so I ended up having to scramble to get the CBI card sent in and they took a full 4-5 weeks, and I actually submitted the CBI Fingerprint card in person at their main offices in Denver in person.

Im sure you'll get it back sooner than later :) Once you do getting it all submitted is pretty easy. :)

Sarah

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Guest Lizzie McTrucker

and if the Judge says "order in the court!" don't say "I'd like a cheeseburger and fries, please."

I didn't even have to show up in court. Filed the paperwork and weeks later got the ruling. I did have to go to the courthouse for some certified copies of the name change ruling though. Bought 10 just in case. I think I still have 8 left. Oh well, better to have too many than not enough I guess. :)

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Guest Melissa~

I have to say my harried family court judge, made my time on the stand very short. I went in the court on time, on the sign up desk he asked what he "Help the lady with"... "Oh that's the name change." Moved me to the first case of the day and out. I just tried to be polite, since I did it pro se. I may have missed some formalities. Never the less, it worked fine anyhow.

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Guest LoveBeingMe

Sarah, you are well prepared so there is no reason for anything to go wrong. It's just one more wall of fear to step through. Think about how far you've already come and focus on the rewards on the other side of that fear.

I'll be in the same situation one of these days and will be just as nervous, maybe more so.

You will be fine.

Love

Heather

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Guest Sarah Faith

Thanks all, Melissa I don't think it'll be quite like that here they only schedule name change hearings for Fridays at 8am, so I think I'll be scheduled with a bunch of other name changes. I had to wait about 2 months because they were booked out until the end of june!

Thanks heather, I'm sure I'll be fine just not a huge fan of going into things blind. :) Im sure you'll get there soon enough too hon. :)

Hugs,

Sarah

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Guest Melissa~

Still there is no foreseen evidence of problems. I was under the no legal advice of the court clerk to make a minimum verbiage legal filing. That's preceisely what I done. The judge only expanded questioning off the official petition into my marital status- which was he was also presiding as judge over, that was settled a few months later too with his stamp of approval, without court interventions.

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Guest Kylie2112

Best of luck, Sarah :)

My own experience (my second time in a courtroom, first was for jury duty [wasn't selected]...) was pretty easy, since it was about 5 people all changing their names. The clerk even asked me if I wanted to be referred to as "Kylie" by the judge (since someone would only have known my birth name if they were a legal notices hound...). The judge was cool, called everyone by the names they were changing to. All I had to say was I affirm to tell the truth, "yes," and "thank you, Your Honor." :)

And yeah, skirt/blouse. Business casual.

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