Came Out To More Family

[Guest Jenn348]

Very interesting day. I sent out an email to parents, my brother and grandparents. I had previously came out to my sister, and that went very positive.

My dad says he doesn't approve, but will support and love (and defend if necessary). My grandparents both said it weirds them out, but that they still love and don't want any changes to our good relationship.

But my mom, OTOH...she's not supportive at all. First, she has me answer a bunch of questions, but they were rather rude. Stuff like "Are you going to leave your wife?" and accusations that I am going to turn my little brother who still lives at home gay or trans. She's also not sure if she can talk to me because the stress would supposedly be too much.

After answering her questions, then came the commentary e-mails.

First, I'm going to kill my other grandma (who I didn't send an e-mail to) because her health is bad and stress could hurt her (I actually thought about this and that's why I left my older grandma out for now).

Second, she talked to my lesbian cousin a while back who told her that drag queens get no respect in the LGBT community....and now I'm a drag queen in her mind. There's no way a 5'10" former man could look like anything but Arnold Schwarzenegger in a dress, so she is sure we'll never be able to be seen together in public.

I think I'll give her a few days to cool off and I'll try to politely educate her on effects of hormones and the difference between drag queens and transsexuals. That probably won't please her, but it's a start.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Well firstly Congrats on the big step!

Secondly, it may take time for your mom to come around but at the same time of course she could just get further and further away sadly. But a few things I would point out, Drag Queens are usually not at all trans the majority of the ones you see on TV only do that for entertainment purposes and they are portraying a character as opposed to them selves. My family instantly thought of drag queens as well when I came out. 5'10" is not a bad height for a woman, and I know at least one very pretty girl here who is 6'2" soo you're fine.

Giving her some time is probably a good idea, plus you can also try to educate her some. I know there are some good books for reading about trans issues but I can't think of them off the top of my head. I'm sure someone might be able to give you some ideas on this though.

Anyways that is great news that you made it to the coming out stage, very proud of ya.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest ChelseaLeigh]

True Selves is a book I personally found to be incredibly well written, to the point that I bought a copy each for my mom and dad, and will be including it with my letters to them that I'll be sending in about a week. It is specifically written for parents, friends and coworkers (in fact that is in the subtitle) to help them understand the experience for us, more than the science. Hope this helps!

Good luck Jenn!

Chelsea

[Guest Jenn348]

Thanks, folks. I'll have to think about those things. Meh, we don't have much control over others' reactions to things.

It's interesting (and sad) how much popular culture defames us. Seems like most people either think of some famous drag queen like RuPaul or they make it readily apparent that they know all about trans people because they saw some episode of South Park or Family Guy. If pop culture leaders would inform rather than entertain at our expense, there'd probably be much more understanding.

I'll have to check out that book, definitely.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Thanks, folks. I'll have to think about those things. Meh, we don't have much control over others' reactions to things.

It's interesting (and sad) how much popular culture defames us. Seems like most people either think of some famous drag queen like RuPaul or they make it readily apparent that they know all about trans people because they saw some episode of South Park or Family Guy. If pop culture leaders would inform rather than entertain at our expense, there'd probably be much more understanding.

I'll have to check out that book, definitely.

I agree, sadly I think average transgender people would be too normal or average for them to use on TV so they get these ridiculous characitures of us because its funnier than real life. The best we can really do is try to educate those in our lives as to the reality of things.. My family came around with a little education and time, it wasn't an instant turn around but Im glad I didn't just close the door on everyone.. So definitely give her some time.

Hugs,

Sarah