Coming out letter to my Co-Workers

[KathrynJulia]

On July 1st, I legally changed my name as the time has come to transition to full time. It's no longer enough to live and dress feminine. Most people have known for sometime that I was a woman in transition. But taking the step to legally change your name is such a visceral and life changing event. Everything at work from benefits to email to name badges needs to change and the announcement needs to be made officially to everyone. I have run this by my management and they approve, so out it goes to everyone I work with. Feel free to use all or part of my letter for your own transition letter. Below is my coming out letter to my co-workers.

After talking to XXXXXX and XXXXXX, I want to share something very personal with all of you. Monday morning I took a big step to change my life. Since early childhood, I have struggled with feelings that all of you never have to give a second thought to. Around the age of 5 years old, I began to understand that unlike all of you, my brain was one gender, female, but my body developed as a male.

I had many arguments with my mother over my gender and even asked my family doctor if he could fix the way I felt. He gently told me that it would take a miracle to fix me. I prayed for that miracle for a really long time. Growing up in the 1960’s was really difficult for people who were transgendered. We were misunderstood, despised, and treated badly. I learned to keep silent after being abused by a child psychologist who used reparative therapy in an attempt to cure transgendered people like me.

For decades, I struggled with the pain of anxiety and dysphoria attempting to live a normal life and raise a family. The family is raised, I’m single now, and several years ago following a really difficult period of gender dysphoria, I began seeing a Therapist who treated folks like me who had transgendered feelings.

Following months of therapy and following a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder, I have been on Hormone Replacement Therapy now for just over 18 months. It’s now time to take additional steps towards changing my life further. Monday morning I legally changed my name to Kathryn Julia. It's part of the process I need to go through and it requires that I begin to live my daily life as a woman which is the ultimate goal of my transition.

I know that most of you may have never experienced this process and I understand that you may have many questions about it. I have access to information that may help you better understand the process I am going through and please don’t hesitate to ask me.

Some of the changes will take time, some changes I need to begin relatively soon. As part of my transition I have begun the process by changing my name. I need to be called by that name that will be a part of my new identity as a woman. I know it will take a little time to get used to it, but it is very important that I be called either Kathryn or Kathy and the proper pronouns be used when addressing me as that is an integral part of my transition.

Sometime in September or early October, I will take another big step in the process of transition and I will undergo extensive plastic and reconstructive surgery to feminize my face. Full and complete transition and final surgery will be complete in a year or two.

I hope you realize that this change in my life does not have any impact on my professional commitments, the quality of my work or the skills I bring to the university every day. I look forward to your continued friendship and support. I’m still me inside, only now I can be honest in whom I really am inside. I’m calmer now, happier than I have ever been. I tell folks who are just beginning their transition that this journey is made up of baby steps. It doesn’t happen right away. Instead it takes months and years to complete.

I pray that you will be kind and understanding as I stumble along in this new life for myself.

Sincerely yours,

Kathryn Julia

[Cyndee]

Congrats Kathryn !! that's a great letter, straight from the heart.

Hugs

Cynthia -

[Carolyn Marie]

It is an outstanding letter, Kathryn. Best of luck with it, and with your transition at work. If you're co-workers are anything like mine, you'll be amazed at how understanding and supportive people can be.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Melissa~]

Congratulation on using such a broad and verbose letter. I left my work disclosure letter rather cagey and short. HR held an official meeting including numerous high level managers where my letter was read aloud and the situation explained. For better or worse, the presence and approval from high level managers and HR suppressed some issues. With an exit plan from for my workplace coming together in the foreseeable future, I believe I am leaving a good legacy.

[Guest Mia J]

Wonderful Kathryn,

That is a great letter.

Mia

[Guest LizMarie]

It seems like a very thoughtful and well considered letter, Kathryn. Good luck with this next step in your transition!

[Guest Carla_Davis]

On July 1st, I legally changed my name as the time has come to transition to full time. It's no longer enough to live and dress feminine. Most people have known for sometime that I was a woman in transition. But taking the step to legally change your name is such a visceral and life changing event. Everything at work from benefits to email to name badges needs to change and the announcement needs to be made officially to everyone. I have run this by my management and they approve, so out it goes to everyone I work with. Feel free to use all or part of my letter for your own transition letter. Below is my coming out letter to my co-workers.

After talking to XXXXXX and XXXXXX, I want to share something very personal with all of you. Monday morning I took a big step to change my life. Since early childhood, I have struggled with feelings that all of you never have to give a second thought to. Around the age of 5 years old, I began to understand that unlike all of you, my brain was one gender, female, but my body developed as a male.

I had many arguments with my mother over my gender and even asked my family doctor if he could fix the way I felt. He gently told me that it would take a miracle to fix me. I prayed for that miracle for a really long time. Growing up in the 1960’s was really difficult for people who were transgendered. We were misunderstood, despised, and treated badly. I learned to keep silent after being abused by a child psychologist who used reparative therapy in an attempt to cure transgendered people like me.

For decades, I struggled with the pain of anxiety and dysphoria attempting to live a normal life and raise a family. The family is raised, I’m single now, and several years ago following a really difficult period of gender dysphoria, I began seeing a Therapist who treated folks like me who had transgendered feelings.

Following months of therapy and following a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder, I have been on Hormone Replacement Therapy now for just over 18 months. It’s now time to take additional steps towards changing my life further. Monday morning I legally changed my name to Kathryn Julia. It's part of the process I need to go through and it requires that I begin to live my daily life as a woman which is the ultimate goal of my transition.

I know that most of you may have never experienced this process and I understand that you may have many questions about it. I have access to information that may help you better understand the process I am going through and please don’t hesitate to ask me.

Some of the changes will take time, some changes I need to begin relatively soon. As part of my transition I have begun the process by changing my name. I need to be called by that name that will be a part of my new identity as a woman. I know it will take a little time to get used to it, but it is very important that I be called either Kathryn or Kathy and the proper pronouns be used when addressing me as that is an integral part of my transition.

Sometime in September or early October, I will take another big step in the process of transition and I will undergo extensive plastic and reconstructive surgery to feminize my face. Full and complete transition and final surgery will be complete in a year or two.

I hope you realize that this change in my life does not have any impact on my professional commitments, the quality of my work or the skills I bring to the university every day. I look forward to your continued friendship and support. I’m still me inside, only now I can be honest in whom I really am inside. I’m calmer now, happier than I have ever been. I tell folks who are just beginning their transition that this journey is made up of baby steps. It doesn’t happen right away. Instead it takes months and years to complete.

I pray that you will be kind and understanding as I stumble along in this new life for myself.

Sincerely yours,

Kathryn Julia

Hi Kathy,

GREAT letter. I wish you ALL my best wishes and Happiness on your continuing journey.

I AM SURE that you feel MUCH HAPPIER TODAY after receiving all those POSITIVE comments from your co-workers.

There is NOTHING BETTER than to be able to live FREE & HAPPY as your TRUE SELF.

Hugs,

Carla