Confused about work.

[Guest romy27696]

Hey there, so I would like some advice or stories on peoples experience with coming out at work. I've told two co-workers that I am transsexual and my supervisor/manager. My supervisor/manager Heather started crying she was so happy for me haha. Anyways she let my General Manager know for me and I'd like some advice on how to tell my other co-workers. Should I approach HR first? (the girls in HR are very friendly and I know all would go well if I did)

Im most worried about my direct co-workers, the ones I am with most of the time, I work in sales at a car dealership, as the receptionist. The salesman are all mostly friendly and I can easily say I have a good relationship with all of them but I find it intimidating telling them outright >.> My supervisor Heather said I don't have to tell them anything but I think that would be unfair.

Should I just start dressing for the gender I feel most inclined towards? I already dress as a man outside of work, and I've never really worn anything girly to work (dresses, skirts, etc,) just nice shirts and slacks.

Im rambling a bit, I guess my question is: should I approach each one and tell them or should I just dress how I want and answer their questions accordingly?

And when should I ask them to start calling me by the name I have chosen for myself as a man?

I hate to think that I would make anyone uncomfortable but this seems to be my only obstacle for myself right now. At least the only one consuming my thoughts most days now.

Thanks for any advice!

Roman B.

[VickySGV]

That is going to be an issue between you and the HR person as to full coming out. Since you are in gender neutral mode already and are accepted that way, take it slow and easy, and if you are not frightening the customers away, make little subtle steps to your full self, and by the time you have gone as far as you want to, no one will be surprised or really much think about it, and you can be you.

[Guest LuceKeagan]

Maybe an email or letter for everyone? You may want to talk to HR and see if they have some suggestions. =)

[Guest nomnomnom]

That is going to be an issue between you and the HR person as to full coming out. Since you are in gender neutral mode already and are accepted that way, take it slow and easy, and if you are not frightening the customers away, make little subtle steps to your full self, and by the time you have gone as far as you want to, no one will be surprised or really much think about it, and you can be you.

this... So much...

definitely talk to HR first as they will probably want to know first anyway (and plan for any potential issues)

if you're slowly transitioning, changing your look without actually coming out, they will just be like "oh... Duhh, that makes sense"

I did this, rumours started going around within another department... When I finally did actually come out many said they thought something was happening with ne.

it's a good feeling once all the way out.

[Charlize]

You definitely have to go to HR. Telling your supervisors was good but don't jump over the HR dept. That's often where policy comes from certainly in large organizations. I'd start to go dressed a little more male. Often that is hard for a MTF but fashion allows you that option in moderation until you make the change complete.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest LizMarie]

I'll echo others. Definitely get HR involved. If company policies support you, then they will be in a position to be pro-active on your behalf. Otherwise your coming out will take them by surprise.

[KathrynJulia]

Roman

I agree with talking to HR, but also talk to your Gender Therapist. Do some role playing with her or him. Can you talk calmly to others about transitioning to the guy you plan to become. About your feelings and how they have brought you to this point.

Also, how long have you been dressing androgynously? When I sent out my letter last week, I had been dressing more and more femininely over a six month period so that when I came out to my co-workers, their were few people surprised by my announcement and were thus more accepting. Give your co-workers time to come around and you will enjoy better success. Kathryn