Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I Should Have Come Out!


Guest JusTice

Recommended Posts

Guest JusTice

Okay! So, I got a new iPod. I had decided to take all the old things off my old iPod: pictures, music, ect. I had just finished the transfer of files when my sister appears at the steps. She walks over to me and notices the new iPod. I had already put a passcode on it. She wanted to take a look at some of the new features, so she picks it up and tries to get in, but she can't. She hands the iPod to me,so I can unlock it. Forgetting that I had just put all my pictures on it, I foolishly unlock it for her. She explores for a bit. Then, that's when I hear it, "Whoa!" I must have a turned a different color when she shows me one of the pictures of myself. After she regained her breathe, she asked, "Are you gay?"

"No," was all I could muster. It isn't a complete lie, but why do I feel like I should've done more, said more?

That was my chance. Now, she just thinks I'm a freak or something. Can I fix this? How? Will she love or hate me?

Link to comment
Guest DianeATL

Sisters are special and you two should be able to share secrets that are kept from the rest of the world. I don't know what your relationship is with your sister, but I think it is an opportunity for you to have a heart to heart with her and build trust. It might not have been at a time that you wanted but now make the most of it. She could end up being your biggest supporter.

Link to comment
Guest Alexis25

Well now that she knows your secret, i would go ahead and have a talk with her. I would just go to her room and lock the door and sit on her bed and then start explaining to her what she saw, tell her that you are just trying to be you, and that means being a female. But that is still a great chance to come out! Tell me the results please, maybe it will build up my confidence as well

Love Alexis!

Link to comment

You know your sister the best Justice, and how close you are, so the decision has to be made by you. I know I would tell my own sister if this happened. But again I've been very open from the beginning.

Please don't blame yourself for not telling your sister about being trans in the heat of the moment. Many times we would do things differently if we had time to think it over. Now, at least, you have an opportunity to think what you would say, so if you are going to completely out yourself, at least you will be ready. There is one good thing that can come of this. You will have someone to go to for support, that is if your sister is accepting.

Good Luck! Outing yourself is never easy because you risk a lot.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny

Link to comment
Guest Carla_Davis

This proves that good things happen when we least expect it.

This is your chance to Finally Come-Out to your sister and maybe the rest of your family.

Have a good F2F with your sister and start by explaining that you are not gay, but transgendered.

After explaining yourself and your feeling, you will be much happier not having that Demon holding your True Self in and be able to live Happy as your True Self.

We all Support, Care for, and Love You and want to see you Happy, Healthy and Transition Safely. :wub:

Hugs,

Carla

Link to comment
Guest Carla_Davis

Hi again,

When you finally decide to talk with your sister, I have listed a very helpful link that you can share with your sister to make explaining what "Transsexuality" is.

The 2nd link is for you to Cherish being Transsexual.

A Primer on Transsexuality

http://www.transsexual.org/aprimer.html

Reasons to Cherish being Transsexual

http://www.transsexual.org/cherish.html

The Transsexuality.org website also has lots of other Good Information for you.

We all Support, Care for, and Love You and want to see you Happy, Healthy and Transition Safely. :wub:

Hugs,

Carla

Link to comment
Guest Kalie Aowynn

Okay! So, I got a new iPod. I had decided to take all the old things off my old iPod: pictures, music, ect. I had just finished the transfer of files when my sister appears at the steps. She walks over to me and notices the new iPod. I had already put a passcode on it. She wanted to take a look at some of the new features, so she picks it up and tries to get in, but she can't. She hands the iPod to me,so I can unlock it. Forgetting that I had just put all my pictures on it, I foolishly unlock it for her. She explores for a bit. Then, that's when I hear it, "Whoa!" I must have a turned a different color when she shows me one of the pictures of myself. After she regained her breathe, she asked, "Are you gay?"
"No," was all I could muster. It isn't a complete lie, but why do I feel like I should've done more, said more?
That was my chance. Now, she just thinks I'm a freak or something. Can I fix this? How? Will she love or hate me?

Hey Justice,

I am in total agreement as the others. I believe she is just in shock. She has gone her young life with a brother and now she sees what she perceives as a gay brother. Just take her aside and explain to her what a transgendered person is and let her know you are her sister.You may find you have a ally or better a supporter when you decide to come out. Good luck hun.

Kalie.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 273 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • The Lake
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,092
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Layla Marie hay
    Newest Member
    Layla Marie hay
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Britton
      Britton
      (53 years old)
    2. chipped_teeth
      chipped_teeth
    3. james-m
      james-m
    4. jenny75
      jenny75
      (34 years old)
    5. KASS13
      KASS13
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      Wholeheartedly agree.  Whether a compliment is backhand or forehand, I take it gladly.  They are offered rarely enough these days.    Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow, a shop that actually respects a customer's truck?  That seems like a miracle!  My husband does most of his own work, because he really, REALLY hates people who mess with an interior, with grease spots or footprints.  His personal truck is old, but super clean.  And since he's the transportation manager for his company, he's pretty picky about people respecting company equipment.  "Take care of it, and it will take care of you" is the motto.  Drivers should be able to go through a DOT Level 1 inspection without worry. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Literally the word means "hatred of women" and so I don't think that's quite the right description for what you encountered.  Possibly chauvinism?  Or maybe just not wanting to bother somebody he figured wasn't interested or capable of doing the job?  Who knows.   But on the other hand...be glad you're passing
    • VickySGV
      Finally found a site that gives the definition of defemination as a process of loss of feminine characteristics or continued loss of them.  Not a word I would use every day, although I can see where it would be a problem for some who value those feminine characteristics.  Yes I have seen it happen and now get the idea, and yes, not in so many words, but yes I have been up against others who do put down my femininity as being a pseudo female at the most polite and I cannot use the words hear for what it is at the worst.   Online, there is little to do about it except leave and block the people who do it and the places it happens, since it affects you much more heavily and negatively than it does the person doing it, and you need freedom from the stress.  The rules here which our "powers that be", namely the staff say we do not put up with members denying the authentic identity of other members. 
    • VickySGV
      I still maintain my "male" skills and almost have to laugh when that sort of thing happens to me with Cis males, and it does happen.  On the other side there, I have activities with the Trans community  here where I live including Trans Men who love to show off their new lives.  I have had a couple come over to my house and I have done some shop teaching that is always fun.  When they offer to help me by doing "male stuff" in a group, I do not take it as misogyny .
    • Thea
      This guy asked me to help with his tire.  So when I turned around and he saw that I'm a woman he's like,  oh nevermind
    • Betty K
      I think that’s an important point. In my case, I’ve found transitioning to be such a relief and a joy that I have no difficulty focussing on the positives. Maybe in your case you could make a practice of noting when you are gendered correctly? Do you keep a journal? I find doing so is major help.   After saying I rarely get misgendered, it actually happened to me yesterday in a local store. After recovering from my shock (the salesman called me “brother”, which to me is about as bad as it gets) I wrote my first complaint letter to a business w/r/t misgendering. That felt good. I also reflected that, to a degree, for those of us who don’t pass, I think gendering is correctly can take a conscious effort. Some Folks seem to automatically see me as feminine, others have to work at it. So if you’re often surrounded by people who have no desire to work at it, that may exacerbate your problem.      
    • Betty K
      I don’t know why anyone would go to the effort of advocating for trans folks only to charge people to read their articles. It seems so counterproductive, and I seriously doubt they’re making more than pocket money out of it. 
    • KathyLauren
      Oh, how I wish we were over-reacting!  But I don't think we are.  The danger is under-reacting. 
    • Ivy
      I understand your feelings. I have the same fears.  NC has made a swing to the right as well, and I'm not optimistic.  I want to tell myself I'm over reacting.  But seeing what these people are  saying, and doing when they do get into power can't be dismissed.  It's proof of what they will do if they take over the federal government. I'm getting kinda old now anyway.  It took me over 60 years to get here, and I'm not going back.  I suppose they can revert my gender markers, but I will still be legally Ivy.  And I have every intention of dying as Ivy Anna.  If I can't find my hormones somehow, I'll do without.  The physical changes I do have are permanent.   Trans people have always existed.
    • Willow
      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
    • KatieSC
      I wish I could cope as well as others. I feel very defeated in that all of the consideration, and then treatment to transition, could all be wiped out by this time next year with the united effort by the R party to eradicate all that is transgender. I fear that the national election could turn out to our detriment, and we will face a national push to eradicate us. Tracking us down will not be that hard to do. Once they know who we are, forcing the legislation to reverse our name changes, gender marker changes, and other records, will not be that hard. We saw an example when the AG in Texas was data mining the driver licenses for those who had gender marker changes. Who will we appeal to? The Supreme R Court? We would have an easier time trying to convince a Russian court.    We need to get out and vote in November. There is not enough Ben & Jerry's to improve my outlook on all of this. In some ways it is a cruel thing in a way. In the early 1930s, Germany was working hard to hunt down the LGBTQ population and eradicate it. Now Germany has better protections there than we have in many of our own states. About 90 years ago, Germany was seeing the rise of their very own dictator...Now the US is on the verge...Oh never mind. What a difference 90 years makes...    History may repeat itself, but sometimes it shifts the focus a little...
    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...