The Great V Misconception

[Guest TBForLife]

This is a topic that comes up a lot in my life.

Having a Vagina.

My ex girlfriend is the most profound influence in this topic for me. She figured since she likes boyish women that my having a vagina would make me ok to date.

She walked into a relationship with me as a lesbian. She walked out quickly, as a lesbian.

When I didn't change my socks for three days, don't shave my legs, armpits, chest, back, heck I'm pretty hairy all over. That's pretty unattractive on a woman. I'll admit that.

Ok so the sock thing is pretty unattractive period.

"Dude, you've been wearing those socks for three days! I can't handle this! I'm a lesbian!"

"You don't understand my feelings"

"Do you even know what nail clippers are?"

"STOP CHEWING THEM"

"The bathroom...I JUST cleaned it"

"Two blocks? We've been walking for a half an hour!"

"Try looking UNDER the pile of stuff if you can't find it"

"COVER THAT! GAWD!"

"I hope you washed your hands..."

"Meat is a food group, Not a meal"

"Use enough axe?"(so I go a day without it) "Spray Some Axe for f sakes!"

"Use a GLASS"

"Use a Towel!"

"Do you understand the meaning of bath mats?"

"you're not really going to eat that..."

"Ewww don't let it crawl in your mouth"

"I'm sick of hearing how awesome your "blank" is"

"It's JUST a car"

"That is NOT an ash trey."

"Did you just put that back in the pot after you licked it?"

"Spraying axe on your jeans does not mean they are clean"

"For F Sakes, How many holes did you put in the wall to get that shelf up?"

"It's called a measuring tape."

"It's called a map"

"Ask for directions already"

"Do you READ? ANYTHING?"

"Wash that!"

"Where's the hammer?" (as she watches me using a 10 lb dumbell to nail the baby gate in place)

"Why do we even have a shower curtain?"

"It's a vitamin enhanced moisturizer not..."

"Did you even try them on?"

"Did you hear ANYTHING I just said" ("uh huh")

"Don't we have reservations?"

"You DONT KNOW?"

"How long has that been there"

"Not In Public"

"You put ALL your clothes in ONE wash!!!!"

"That does NOT go there"

"Shoes...table *leaves room*"

"were you smoking in the bathroom AGAIN"

Key word there is women.

No one dates a vagina. They're great for recreational purposes and bearing children but make terrible conversation and you can use the word diner in the same sentence but you can't take it out on a date without the person it belongs to.

The stressed importance is who it belongs to.

Similarly watching Max X on spike I became aware of a man who was dared to get breast implants. He won a large sum of money for getting them from his buddies and he still lives every day as a man. He's a pretty rugged guy, and nothing about having implants makes him a woman at all.

It is often said it takes sperm to make a baby, and a good man to be a father.

It does not take sperm or the ability to produce it to be a good man...or a bad man for that matter!

This really impacts my life because I for one, don't mind having a vagina. I'm on T, I love the changes it has brought about and I'm completely satisfied and secure as a man. 98% of the people I meet in my day to day life never get to see whats under my boxers so the significance my anatomy has on my life is very small in my mind.

However, nearly everyone says "So you have a Vagina. That means you are a girl"

I'm getting into wrestling. Do you think for a moment I'm going for the womens belt just because of whats below mine? I'll be going against guys who are twice my size and I'm sure I can hold my own.

What if I had a horn on my forehead? Would that make me a Unicorn? Would I be less of a human being with a missing limb? What about my STP. That's as much of a prosthetic limb to me as if I had lost leg and needed a fake leg to walk.

The great V misconception is in the idea that anyone with a vagina is a woman.

Or that you have to have a vagina to be a woman for my sisters who are mtf.

That little spot of flesh, the smallest most private, hardly seen, hardly discussed, insignificant little part. Why does it have so much influence?

I have no idea. This is one place in life where I am totally LOST.

Why do I need a penis to be a man?

I could dress as a female every day, shave my legs and still be the furthest thing from a lady.

Why do we have this great V Misconception?

[Guest Little Sara]

When I didn't change my socks for three days

I did this Monday to Wednesday and I test a mat console at work (ie without shoes). I usually keep socks (and t-shirts, and camis, and pants, and panties) on for two days before changing, unless I sweated like a pig or got what I had on dirty (which is, very rarely: I hardly sweat). I just forgot on Wednesday morning to change (I sleep with socks, I hate cold feet).

The only exception is formal wear, I don't wear a pretty dress two days in a row (unless I happen to have nothing else on hand, but I'd have to be stranded somewhere for that). I dryclean my pretty dresses after 4-5 times wearing it, unless it got dirty (20$ a time gets expensive, no way I'm dry-cleaning it every single time).

No one ever noticed the formal wear thing. No one ever talked about the rest. My mother is the one who told me two days was fine for clothes if not dirty. My pyjama, well, since I currently only have one, I wash it around once every two weeks (but only wear it to bed). If I had 2 or 3, I'd wash every ~4 days-ish for those (I'd wear one 4 days, then switch to next, or alternate anyways, but they'd be worn equally).

I don't use deodorizer, and don't have much hair at all (and no armpit hair) and my body odor is not strong unless I sweated or haven't washed myself in a Gosh darned long time.

As for your post directly, I'd say people are more fixated on presence/absence of penis.

Ray Blanchard is a prime example (speaking of a MtF):

“This is not waving a magic wand and a man becomes a woman and vice versa,” he says. “It’s something that has to be taken very seriously. A man without a penis has certain disadvantages in this world, and this is in reality what you’re creating.” (Armstrong 2004)

[Guest TBForLife]

I don't see what disadvantages not having a penis gives me hehehe

I'm talented, we'll leave it at that!

[Guest MrAwesome]

I don't understand it either... I guess cause it's their up bringing. So we just have to show them they're wrong.

[Guest Jackson]

Seriously, there are not many disadvantages to not having one. Like a trans-gentleman who was a comedian once said, "Who wouldn't want a detachable penis?" You can be interchangeable. How great is that? Your SO doesn't like the size? Change it!

[Guest TBForLife]

Seriously, there are not many disadvantages to not having one. Like a trans-gentleman who was a comedian once said, "Who wouldn't want a detachable penis?" You can be interchangeable. How great is that? Your SO doesn't like the size? Change it!

Thats what I say!

To all the bio guys out there "Can your penis do THIS (switches on the vibration) yeah didn't think so!"

No pre mature ejaculation, select a size shape curve and color make it glass or silicone or cyberskin, so many options!

[Guest TBForLife]

Oh and to add to that. Getting kicked blow the belt, I have extra padding, STP feels NO PAIN.

Forgive me if I'm getting a bit cocky

[Guest Zabrak]

"Did you just put that back in the pot after you licked it?"

"Spraying axe on your jeans does not mean they are clean"

LMAO *breaths* ....LOL

I don't know how I could live without the chuckles I get here.

I'm fine as myself and I don't tend meet a lot of people either way. No ones going to find out whats between my legs, anyway, I'm currently dating and have been for a year and a half. I'm a very loyal man.

Besides, you can call me a girl but I'd suggest you duck and cover after that.

[Guest TBForLife]

Oh and then you have us gay men who have to double defend!

Because say you pass as a man you still have to prove we aren't Rainbows!

Call me a girl and you better pray I'm not wearing high heels!

[Guest Zabrak]

Better not mess up my hair either.

[Guest TBForLife]

Better not mess up my hair either.

Oh I know eh?

Why do you think I went and shaved my head?

All that product spinning round and round...I just could not bear it!

You have nice hair, I bet thats your natural color too eh *sigh*

I'm sorry Zab you gotta have great hair for those of us who fail miserably (bald) there lol.

Thanks for the laughs.

[Guest KageBoy171]

This is a topic that comes up a lot in my life.

Having a Vagina.

My ex girlfriend is the most profound influence in this topic for me. She figured since she likes boyish women that my having a vagina would make me ok to date.

She walked into a relationship with me as a lesbian. She walked out quickly, as a lesbian.

When I didn't change my socks for three days, don't shave my legs, armpits, chest, back, heck I'm pretty hairy all over. That's pretty unattractive on a woman. I'll admit that.

Ok so the sock thing is pretty unattractive period.

"Dude, you've been wearing those socks for three days! I can't handle this! I'm a lesbian!"

"You don't understand my feelings"

"Do you even know what nail clippers are?"

"STOP CHEWING THEM"

"The bathroom...I JUST cleaned it"

"Two blocks? We've been walking for a half an hour!"

"Try looking UNDER the pile of stuff if you can't find it"

"COVER THAT! GAWD!"

"I hope you washed your hands..."

"Meat is a food group, Not a meal"

"Use enough axe?"(so I go a day without it) "Spray Some Axe for f sakes!"

"Use a GLASS"

"Use a Towel!"

"Do you understand the meaning of bath mats?"

"you're not really going to eat that..."

"Ewww don't let it crawl in your mouth"

"I'm sick of hearing how awesome your "blank" is"

"It's JUST a car"

"That is NOT an ash trey."

"Did you just put that back in the pot after you licked it?"

"Spraying axe on your jeans does not mean they are clean"

"For F Sakes, How many holes did you put in the wall to get that shelf up?"

"It's called a measuring tape."

"It's called a map"

"Ask for directions already"

"Do you READ? ANYTHING?"

"Wash that!"

"Where's the hammer?" (as she watches me using a 10 lb dumbell to nail the baby gate in place)

"Why do we even have a shower curtain?"

"It's a vitamin enhanced moisturizer not..."

"Did you even try them on?"

"Did you hear ANYTHING I just said" ("uh huh")

"Don't we have reservations?"

"You DONT KNOW?"

"How long has that been there"

"Not In Public"

"You put ALL your clothes in ONE wash!!!!"

"That does NOT go there"

"Shoes...table *leaves room*"

"were you smoking in the bathroom AGAIN"

Key word there is women.

No one dates a vagina. They're great for recreational purposes and bearing children but make terrible conversation and you can use the word diner in the same sentence but you can't take it out on a date without the person it belongs to.

The stressed importance is who it belongs to.

Similarly watching Max X on spike I became aware of a man who was dared to get breast implants. He won a large sum of money for getting them from his buddies and he still lives every day as a man. He's a pretty rugged guy, and nothing about having implants makes him a woman at all.

It is often said it takes sperm to make a baby, and a good man to be a father.

It does not take sperm or the ability to produce it to be a good man...or a bad man for that matter!

This really impacts my life because I for one, don't mind having a vagina. I'm on T, I love the changes it has brought about and I'm completely satisfied and secure as a man. 98% of the people I meet in my day to day life never get to see whats under my boxers so the significance my anatomy has on my life is very small in my mind.

However, nearly everyone says "So you have a Vagina. That means you are a girl"

I'm getting into wrestling. Do you think for a moment I'm going for the womens belt just because of whats below mine? I'll be going against guys who are twice my size and I'm sure I can hold my own.

What if I had a horn on my forehead? Would that make me a Unicorn? Would I be less of a human being with a missing limb? What about my STP. That's as much of a prosthetic limb to me as if I had lost leg and needed a fake leg to walk.

The great V misconception is in the idea that anyone with a vagina is a woman.

Or that you have to have a vagina to be a woman for my sisters who are mtf.

That little spot of flesh, the smallest most private, hardly seen, hardly discussed, insignificant little part. Why does it have so much influence?

I have no idea. This is one place in life where I am totally LOST.

Why do I need a penis to be a man?

I could dress as a female every day, shave my legs and still be the furthest thing from a lady.

Why do we have this great V Misconception?

Dude, I was reading this in Starbucks the other day and was laughing so hard, I was crying. It was hilarious, people were staring at me. : D

To be honest, I don't change my socks until I magically find another pair- and they rarely ever match. To me, it would be really really nice to have one, but knowing that I will never truly have one, I try not to let it get to me. If whoever I am with can't handle it, then that's their fault. I mean, it will just be harder to date at all because I consider myself a gay male. Either way, I don't think what's between your legs should state what is what.

I love the quotes, hahahaha!

[Guest Crossroads]

I'm reading this book called "My Gender Workbook" by Kate Bornstein and the first couple chapters just talks about what makes a real man, a real woman, etc. Overall, the book is as confusing as anything and gives me a headache, it also gives me a lot of great things to think about.

A great read for anyone interested and really falls in line to this conversation.

The full title is: "My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely"

And before I say something really disgusting about myself, I better go try to find some socks that aren't all disgusting. I had a roommate in college who had a pile of clothes she pulled from, and when they smell started to come out, she sprayed a protective coating of Axe to hold it in. When her mom came to help her move back home, we all had to clear out of the room for a while. I still can't stand the smell of Axe, lol.

[Guest April63]

That socks thing is pretty gross lol

Well, we all are different. By looking at one part of your body you can make a guess. You can make correlations by using data gathered from a large group of people, but those aren't 100% accurate. Someone will always be the opposite, or at least different from the statistic.

April

[Guest TBForLife]

Oh I hear ya man. These guys who think "I'm not gay because he has a vagina" man, their loss!

I've been with a few guys who have questioned their sexuality because they had enjoyed being with me physically.

I got in an argument with one of them when he said I was the hottest boy he's ever been with, and then continued to tell me that he could not be seen dating me because he was gay and people knew I was trans.

Also that he started to feel straight because he enjoyed being with me.

ENJOYED. Meaning whatever I had, he liked it. That made him feel insecure. I have no idea why, hey I'm "Gay" but I will admit that when I was with a woman intimately it was heavenly amazing like wow, I loved being with a woman.

We broke up, as you read above. Only woman I've ever slept with in my life by the way.

We broke up because I LOVE her but it's not the same kind of love I'd feel for a guy. The relationship didn't flow the way I liked it to. I really like being in relationships with men because they're a little more easy going and laid back. Don't fly off the hanger, freak out crying or tell me I don't understand how they feel as much as women BUT I am TOTALLY open to being with a woman, female, whatever, if she can be laid back and easy going like a guy, FTMs too. I'd date another FTM in a heart beat. I have dated one in my past and he was just so understanding and we really got along great.

Unfortunately I got there a little late and his life was already too hard for him to take, so the depression killed him eventually...

When that boy that "Enjoyed" me and said that I was the hottest boy ever said he could not find himself attracted to me anymore I lifted my shirt, showing off my flat muscular front and said "this look like a girl to you?" He went weak in the knees at that point, "Do I sound like a girl to you?" "Do I smell like a girl to you?" "Do I feel like a girl?"

The worst part of all this is that I am a top. He never saw, was near or even aware of me having a vagina until after we'd already been together a while I thought it would just be nice to tell him before things got serious.

I never saw him again. It was really disappointing because I thought he was a keeper, well, maybe not eh?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ya'll are so complicated sometimes - and a riot! God you get going sometimes...

I thought we MTFs had issues! Not at all it seems.

To your post topic - my therapist says there are no panty checks in transsexuality. I have tried to 'shrink' her back and have concluded that until I can convince her that I really don't need sexual reassignment surgery, she will won't approve it. She calls it frosting on the cake. Like you I know what gender I am - regardless of what I have between my legs - my only wish is I want to know what sex is like as a female - what I missed - because I was born male instead of female. I talked with my therapist - I seem to be bisexual in her eyes now - so why don't I go out and get that man I want? I need a place to put him - being told my entire life homosexual sex is hot dog in the bum, rather than the hetherosexual sausage in the bun. I am homophobic - a homophobic transsexual - go figure!

Are we screwed up? - seems so - can we holler and laugh about it? sure can.

Lizzy

[Guest Little Sara]

I have tried to 'shrink' her back and have concluded that until I can convince her that I really don't need sexual reassignment surgery, she will won't approve it.

That's abuse of power on her part. She can't decide for you to make some arbitrary criteria she made up because of her worldview. She's basically imposing her worldview on you and coercing you with it. This is illegal.

[Guest TBForLife]

Oh Lizzy you're not the only homophobic mtf in the world. My friend won't let men touch her because shes a LADY not a homosexual man.

If I were a girl wanting a straight sex theres no way I'f have some gay man getting off on me as a dude.

But case being that I'm pansexual with a pref for boyish types (male female or whatever in between) I really enjoy the full experience.

I don't need srs, does that mean I'd qualify?

You have to be whole before the operation because many expect that to complete them and its a huge downer when you realize youre still the same incomplete you with a new spot of flesh.

Completion of self, then physical reward is the way I think they have it.

Ya'll are so complicated sometimes - and a riot! God you get going sometimes...

I thought we MTFs had issues! Not at all it seems.

To your post topic - my therapist says there are no panty checks in transsexuality. I have tried to 'shrink' her back and have concluded that until I can convince her that I really don't need sexual reassignment surgery, she will won't approve it. She calls it frosting on the cake. Like you I know what gender I am - regardless of what I have between my legs - my only wish is I want to know what sex is like as a female - what I missed - because I was born male instead of female. I talked with my therapist - I seem to be bisexual in her eyes now - so why don't I go out and get that man I want? I need a place to put him - being told my entire life homosexual sex is hot dog in the bum, rather than the hetherosexual sausage in the bun. I am homophobic - a homophobic transsexual - go figure!

Are we screwed up? - seems so - can we holler and laugh about it? sure can.

Lizzy

[Guest Little Sara]

I agree you have to be whole and feel at home with yourself, but you can still feel uneasy about sexuality (or the way it happens). Someone imposing themselves as the righteous gatekeeper, with their own made-up criterias, is trying to play God, with someone's life.

I accepted that I will no doubt have anal sex before vaginal sex. And I know this does not make me (or him) a gay man. We're both pansexual anyways, and he respects me for who I am first and foremost. This is what counts to me. I won't touch myself, but I can accept a lover touching me if I feel comfortable enough with him. I have no problem about touching him (touching is general, does not refer to any particular act).

[Guest TBForLife]

I agree you have to be whole and feel at home with yourself, but you can still feel uneasy about sexuality (or the way it happens). Someone imposing themselves as the righteous gatekeeper, with their own made-up criterias, is trying to play God, with someone's life.

I accepted that I will no doubt have anal sex before vaginal sex. And I know this does not make me (or him) a gay man. We're both pansexual anyways, and he respects me for who I am first and foremost. This is what counts to me. I won't touch myself, but I can accept a lover touching me if I feel comfortable enough with him. I have no problem about touching him (touching is general, does not refer to any particular act).

Unfortunately its common for people to think that one little surgery is going to fix all the issues they have. These so called gate keepers are merely trying to make sure you don't think that way about transgendering.

The vagina does not make the woman, the woman has to be strong in herself or understand that a vagina will not make all her problems go away first of all.

It's not supposed to be someone judging you or your gender, but the point which you are at in that transition.

Way back when I first started out I thought my stp device and hormones would make me a man.

I was far far off.

Any female body builder on roids can pee standing up and be more of a man than I was at that point in my life. I've come a long way since then and I still have issues. I don't think I'd be Ready for lower srs even at this point in my life and I'd have a bone to pick with any idiot doctor who would approve it for me.

I'm still deciding what is right for MY body.

Personally I don't know if I'd be willing to let go of a sexual outlet thats brought me pleasure for so many years. I've never had a penis and I've done just fine without one for 26 years.

I DO know I'd kill to have a bigger clitoris, and I would really like testicular implants.

I hate the skin that covers my clitoris now! I don't want to add more skin, I just want it to get bigger.

As for implants, I just feel that I'm missing substance down there, Like someone popped my boys and would like to just have the feeling that they are there.

I don't see the need for any more work than that.

[Guest Evan_J]

I agree you have to be whole and feel at home with yourself, but you can still feel uneasy about sexuality (or the way it happens). Someone imposing themselves as the righteous gatekeeper, with their own made-up criterias, is trying to play God, with someone's life.

True that. But they all do it. About one topic or another. To do otherwise would be saying "I have no point and don't pay me" and what do you think the odds are of that happening? Come on now, everybody who has "authorization" to be in this equation is going to be theres cash involved. And now that I've satisfied my cynicism; yes, TB is correct, the "official" part is you have to be mentally whole first then you get the reward.

I actually had to read this six times to "get it" though:

Oh Lizzy you're not the only homophobic mtf in the world. My friend won't let men touch her because shes a LADY not a homosexual man.

Then I pondered if that really was homophobia...maybe ....kind of "dual" phobia in a way. I know some people (straight people) feel it would be "unacceptable" to have sex with a gay male in particular because of they feel there's an unnecessary additional risk of exposing themselves to aids or hiv since they view that population as having a "higher" incidence. -true, false, or otherwise, its one of their feelings. That however can also be tagged as homophobia.

Personally I'm just germ phobic an I don't care what you are

But yeah, homophobia is possible for anyone. I think I've mentioned before in other treads that was something I had to see about myself. -Right along with being trans phobic at one time I dunno. I was amongst the lesbians and fine, I had gay guy friends that I thought were awesome, but from the perspective of being male I had a problem with gay males and it actually came out the first time I was socially around 2 gay FtMs . I thought I was not homophobic right up until they hit on me. And in 6.6 seconds I was every redneck guy or "baby daddy" rapper guy who ever thought it was "understandable" to beat up a gay guy for doing it And I have to say it that way cuz the truth is I didn't feel "shocked" or "awkward" I actually felt straight up rage and once I was by myself later I had to ask "why". How could somebody who "knew all those answers" and actually was in the gay community possibly feel that? The answer is in feeling threatened. We use that word a lot but it actually is a big word. Any other life form when feeling threatened "attacks" and we take it as "making sense" because they're "protecting themselves". But we have no understanding as to "why a straight person would feel threatened". Very simply, its because they like what they are. They like being straight. Just like the lesbian likes being a lesbian and will get angry as hell at the straight man who doesn't respect that and leave her alone. And is it really wrong to like being straight? No. Its not worse than liking being a man, a woman, a gay man....whatever. And so for that I actually give mainstream peeps "more room" now if they say "hey I'm not into the trans thing" or whatever I'm like "cool, have a good world and you know what, no hard feelings." Its pretty hard to give someone a "positive insight" while they're feeling threatened or aggitated so you might as well. And honestly (thinking of that lesbian again makes it clear) at the point the straight person let you know they were straight to then or in future attempt to "sway" that isn't respecting their boundaries.

And I have gotten waaay off topic lol.

As far as FtMs bein a highly complicated sort: I thought you knew that Elizabeth? And here I thought you were "worldly"

[Guest Little Sara]

True that. But they all do it. About one topic or another. To do otherwise would be saying "I have no point and don't pay me" tongue.gif and what do you think the odds are of that happening? Come on now, everybody who has "authorization" to be in this equation is going to be theres cash involved. And now that I've satisfied my cynicism; yes, TB is correct, the "official" part is you have to be mentally whole first then you get the reward.

Their job is not to block someone, but to form a plan adapted to their client, which their client has agreed to, which is in their best interest (as determined by both, not only one party). Then focus on that. Adding additional hurdles is not part of their job description. Standards of care are guidelines, so while one person might feel they need RLT of 18 months to feel they're ready, someone else might need 6 months. The shrink is supposed to adapt there.

[Guest TBForLife]

Agreed however this is not the case with the CAMH here they use outdated standards (1998) and require the strict criteria of 3 years pre op 1 year before hormones, working in your chosen gender role or attending school successfully. They want us to do that with no hormones or surgery.

All I have to say is that the same government told me not to work because I need hormones and surgery. They're paying me disability because I could not handle working in the world as a female person.

SO

Make up your mind Ontario?

Tell me to NOT WORK but say you WONT HELP FIX ME until I WORK. Thanks!

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

And here I thought this thread was going to be about Thomas Pynchon.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

That's abuse of power on her part. She can't decide for you to make some arbitrary criteria she made up because of her worldview. She's basically imposing her worldview on you and coercing you with it. This is illegal.

I wanted to reply to this earlier - woke up last night remembering I never did.

I originally wrote:

I have tried to 'shrink' her back and have concluded that until I can convince her that I really don't need sexual reassignment surgery, she will won't approve it. She calls it frosting on the cake.

I am the one who put the catch 22 there - she didn't literally say she "won't approve it until I can convince her I don't need it." In one of those rare instances I hooked up with a post op on chat right about the time I was contempating bringing up SRS to my therapist. If you ask a moderator, they can go find someone with experience in a particular area for you. I asked.

We had a good thirty minute chat about guess what? How to bring up the subject of SRS to the 'gate keeper."' Now a little study will show you that SRS is ALWAYS on every true transsexual's mind - young, old, rich, poor, MTF and FTM, in transition, not in transition and even those not even SURE they are transsexual. Read some of the introductions in that forum? It's there even that early. SRS - SRS - I want SRS - or a sex change, everyone says. Well - the standard answer is usually, it takes a lot of work to get to that point. And it does!

But disregard that... what REALLY has to be accomplished MENTALLY before sexual reassignment surgery? Well the answers are similar for MTF and FTM, but let's just think about MTF - why, because I know about that.

Anyway - talking to the post op person, she finally got me to see what I needed to see. I really didn't want SRS - I wanted to be a woman in body, to match the woman in mind and soul I am aready.. ALREADY - now - I am already a woman.

But I need a therapist to see that? Yes - blush blush blush - apparently so. Now I know. So reaching that point is a huge deal - I don't need the affirmation I thought I did - gender-wise. I am, was, will always be a woman, a girl a female. The voice tapes use this as a practice sentence; "One is not born a woman, one becomes one."

BUT sexually - wow - a powerful word! Sexually I am not female exactly - well not much - heck, not really at all. My secondary sexual characteristics are being changed by the HRT, but do I have a vagina? overies? reproductive female organs? No no and no. Will I ever have these? Sorta - with SRS I can have a vaginal canal and all the frills that go with it - but the rest no and no. BUT I CAN lose my penis and my testicles - good - gone - go away! So I can achieve a almost total minus, and partial plus result - but most importantly - what i end up with is functional for intercourse.

Will THAT make me a woman - no - already AM a woman , a girl, female in mind and soul - but it MAY tie my body to my brain, might!

No guarantee - it's the 'frosting on the cake," answer maybe... something I can have to finalize myself. But I must be soooo satisfied that I am a woman, and sooooo happy with my progress and position in reaching that goal, that to HAVE or NOT HAVE SRS isn't super important anymore. SRS becomes a convenience, a need for legal reasons, a way to protect myself from getting killed if some thugs suddenly think I am guilty of false advertising. It can never be an answer to my problems. I should't HAVE problems when I have SRS because they will also be there afterward.

So the therapist feels you are at the point SRS is needed - you think it it is time, the therapist says you are ready - you have your SRS.

That's how it seems to me.

Lizzy