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The Great V Misconception


Guest TBForLife

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Guest Irielle

Wow, this is a great thread, what a hoot!

Crossroads, I am working my way through “My Gender Workbook” also. I like it a lot. On that long quiz you take at the beginning I scored 21 which apparently makes me a “gender freak”. Well, duh.

Speaking of socks, the other day a friend mentioned I was wearing one white sock and one brown sock. I said, “That’s interesting. I have another pair just like them at home.”

TB – it’s too bad people get hung up on their labels. A guy tells you that you are the hottest guy he’s ever dated and then leaves because your sex is female?!? And he was worried that if he is with you then his friends won’t think he’s gay?!? I’d keep you and dump my friends. He’s no keeper.

When I’m with a girl I could care less what my gay friends have to say. Actually, what they HAVE said to me is “Cool, it’s not me but go for it”. They are happy for me.

You also said:

But case being that I'm pansexual with a pref for boyish types (male female or whatever in between) I really enjoy the full experience.

That’s me, too – pansexual with a pref for boyish types, any sex, any gender, anything in between. BTW I’m andro, GB, mostly female. I”d love to be physically female, and should have been born that way, but I’m just fine the way I am.

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Guest Little Sara
Sorta - with SRS I can have a vaginal canal and all the frills that go with it - but the rest no and no. BUT I CAN lose my penis and my testicles - good - gone - go away! So I can achieve a almost total minus, and partial plus result - but most importantly - what i end up with is functional for intercourse.

Meh, to me its a no-brainer. I lose absolutely nothing without penis and testes, and gain everything with vagina, surgically-created or not. I don't penetrate, and now can't do so (and am glad for this). I'm generally small there as well (which I also like). I can't even touch myself as it is. So yeah, anything to feel like my genitals are not a foreign body.

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Guest TBForLife

What I have now, glad that I have it too!

Is more than functional in many ways, it's like having a swiss army knife in my shorts.

What do you want to do? Oh yes, I can accommodate.

Be it penetration with the assistance of toys, my own phallus or being penetrated. I don't let my genitalia define who I am, I let my genitalia explore all the great possibilities being trans-gendered has provided me.

I sort of feel the same way Irielle, I've spent way too long hating on myself for not being born in the role I wanted in society that I've under appreciated the amazing body I have been given and the great opportunities to have it all.

I do love being a man, more than anything. But I am completely unwilling to let go of any of my many feminine traits.

I love my makeup, I love hot girly clothes but I also love being a man, having a flat chest and a deep voice along with my facial hair, my body hair, my muscle tone, I love this body. This body is amazing. How am I so lucky to have such a wonder?

I think I'm perfect, if that guy could not see it right in front of him then it's his loss.

All I can say is I must have had an impact on him because when he left my house he rolled his truck five times because he was right out of it. I have that effect on guys :D Like a sexual neurotoxin ;) I'm Toxic and hotter than Britney because I look better bald!

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
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    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
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    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
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