Fathers response

[Guest Jamie23]

Hey all,

SO my father found out about me going thru the transition process by my mother, and his response was not pleasing. He told my mom that he thinks it is a "mental thing" i am going thru and that he is disturbed by it. This baffles me because growing up he said I was always like a girl.

I guess the last thing I want to hear people say is that I am going crazy while I am in my early stages of transition. I had a hard time accepting this and it is so rough to think people think I am "losing my mind" etc. Just thought i should share

[Carolyn Marie]

Jamie, I'm sorry to hear that your dad didn't take it well, to hear about you being trans. It is not an unusual response. Please know that you are NOT mentally ill, and this is not your fault. It is simply a condition you were born with, and its not a lifestyle choice, a sin, or a curse. Your father needs to be educated as to what it all means. There are some great resources available to help people understand more of what you are going through. Here is one such resource: http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/transgender-visibility-guide

There are many others; just put "resources for trans teens and families" in your web browser.

Hang in there, hon. Try to get him to sit down and listen to you explain how you feel, how you've felt all your life, and what it means to you to become the person you truly are.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[gennee]

You're not losing your mind, Jamie. You are following through on your decision to transition.

I agree with Carolyn Marie' comments.

[Guest Opal]

Unfortunately some fathers have a fragile sense of masculinity of themselves and they do not react well. As I read years ago, do not think of it as a boy with a mental problem, think of it as a girl with a physical problem.

Transitioning is not easy. People here understand your pain and frustration over this. Hope your father will come around and be supportive.

Big Huggs,

Opal

[Guest sydney]

Jamie, my father did not react well either. Fortunately my mother has been great (they have been divorced and remarried for a long time and my step-father is totally accepting of it). My father even acknowledged that I was born this way, yet he thought I should stay in the closet. I know better now and you'll see that you will be much happier about being yourself. It's an empowering feeling. There are some local resources if you need counseling on Manhattan. ( I use Callen-Lorde for my HRT, that starts on Thursday, and they do provide counseling if you need it. ) I'm also in Northern NJ (Hackensack area). There is also a Trans support group that meets at the LGBT Center in Manhattan on the first Wednesday of the month (not sure about January since the first Wed of the month is on New Years Day. I haven't gone myself, but plan to on the next one.

[Guest Brenda Hailey]

Jamie ,you arent losing your mind, quite the opposite is true ,it is your fathers mind that cant cope at the moment not yours.

However it might be helpful to tell your father for yourself and not your brother so you can clearly state how you feel with no misinterpretation or misunderstanding.

It is alot easier to deny and ridicule someone when they arent in front of you to defend themselves.

I would say it is best this way because you wont be left with any doubt either, about what he may or may not feel about this instead of hearing it second hand.

Furthermore if he is brave enough to call you crazy in front of your face then it might be prudent of you to ask him why he doesnt support his own family when they suffer from "mental things",as if mental things are above caring about or showing compassion for.

I hope he will look deep into himself and realize how he is hurting you before it is to late.