Leaving The Closet

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora 'closeteers'

When I came out I was out-lock, stock and barrel, that old closet door was well and truly boarded up for good…I’m talking about name change and living fully as a female on HRT but without any surgery[ I was fortunate to have government funded surgery in 2005-4 years after I went 24/7]…However I legally change my name 8 months before I went full time, [here in Aotearoa [NZ] one can legally change ones name but it won’t be recognised until one starts to use it legally eg, change a legal document such as your driver’s licence or bank details],

There’s no doubt about it, beginning to affirm ones gender publicly can be quite thrilling…And the more one gets addressed by the ‘correct’ pronoun in public the more ones self esteem flourishes…However I take it you are all aware of the pit falls of flaunting ones stuff in public, possible ridicule, rejection, verbal and or physical abuse, loss of family and friends job etc, etc...For some it’s a ‘small’ price to pay to be freed from their claustrophobic closets…

Now I know the time is only right when the individual believes it to be…

So who believes that they will be leaving their closets for good within the next six months? Not necessarily with having 'Gender Affirming Surgery' nor full legal recognition for that matter, but just out living full time in their preferred gender 24/7?

I’m aware that in the States different states have different laws governing gender recognition and G.A.S. but that doesn’t seem to stop many from being true to themselves 24/7…In the UK and some other countries it’s not always necessary for one to have surgery to be legally recognised…

BTW when do you think is the best time to go 24/7 - in autumn, winter, spring or summer? That is, if you live in a place where they actually get the distinct seasonal changes…

One would think ‘spring’ would be the ideal season to be ‘re-born’…Going with the natural flow so to speak...

Just curious…

Metta Jendar

[Guest mia 1]

Winter. So many layers and you can peel back from one layer to the next. Amaze yourself that you can look that darn good.

[Sally]

Mia brings up a good point about the layering in winter, it let's you sneak into full time. You can't wear that many layers very many days in Texas, but in summer it gets to be in the triple digits pretty early so if you feel comfortable about your body get ready and wera those nice light weight women's material - I have always wanted to wear a little sundress to work - mostly because whenever I worked in an office, men were required to wear coats and ties and the women in their spagetti strapped sundresses controlled the thermastat - very unfair!

Sally

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

for me the best time is end of autum beginning of winter. Than you can cover your self-confidence in more than just a mini skirt. When you reach spring you had enough time to learn that it is no big deal to go out. Than it is time for the mini skirt

I often read in the forum that for many people it is important to get the legal name changed and all document set to the right new gender. For me this is not so important. In general if I meet people they do not check my papers before talking to me. So if they see me and give the right pronoun than I reached my goal.

The same with SRS. Many transgendert people here live without SRS. It is to risky for them so theyx do not do it. I can also not understand that this is important to get the legal name change. Does they check the papers and the genitals if you are stopped by the police?

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Christy.dancer]

Around here ('burbs of Seattle), winter has been a great time, because I can slowly transition to female attire. Male & female clothes really aren't that different in the winter around here.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hummmm

Good question. We have two seasons in New Orleans, January and winter. that's an oversimplification, but this Saturday was the first time I had to bind a bit because I couldn't wear a jacket and I promised my S.O. not to out in our small town until I was absolutely passing. We discussed this subject - summer here is definately shorts and teeshirt weather - and sandels. My toes, my legs, my waistline, my itty bitties - my hair - what to do? Darn it, I need to be me. I can tone it down a bit but will not really never pass 100% male ever again - I am getting looks now.

I donno

Winter worked so well for me - and it is going to be our two week spring soon. All I know is people don't always see you - I have had smooth bare legs for almost four years - which includes three summers in shorts. And I don't care as much as I once did. I certainly am doing any 'toning down,' as it is called - uck - for the benifit of others, not me. I need to get my hair to ponytail length (6 months maybe) and let it all hang out.

Oooops - did I just really say that? Grin

I don't have a male wardrobe anymore really. I guess it will be androgyne by default when the weather gets warm - binding hurts anyway and I am not really that big! Lotta girls don't paint their nails all the time.

Brazen Hussy Lizzy

[Guest Zack L]

I'm really hoping I'll be living full time by the summer, and if not than when I go off to college, which is in the tail end of 6 months. =3

I have to say I'd like winter best though -- no bathing suits or anything of that sort to worry about, and I hate Spring/Fall...bugs and awful allergies have turned me against those seasons. =P

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

So it seems autumn and winter are the coming out/re-birth flavour of the seasons...What happened to the natural flow of Mother Nature's springtime???

When I mentioned "coming out can be such a drag!" , I meant it... For me it was, it took over twenty odd years to finally 'drag' myself screaming and kicking out of the closet ...I say twenty odd years because I started to come out when I was 19 ...At the time I was visiting Singapore on my way back to the UK and happened to meet up with the local trans-community who introduced me to the notion that hormones were available, plus there was also plastic surgery-genital surgery...

But family, friends and fear of the unknown kept me sealed tightly inside my cocoon of denial for another twenty odd years...

Again when I was in my early twenties [this was after spending some time in a psych ward - Gender dysphoria was really doing my brain in -This was when and where I was introduced to a close friend called 'valium' -

I was in south Australia visiting an old girl friend, anyway one day I had had enough I decided to get something done once and for all, I checked the local phone book for hospitals and clinic where they had psychiatrists on staff, after find a hospital near by I got up the courage to venture off to the hospital, I got right up to the reception desk of the clinic and panic took over-I rush out...I went home which brought me back into the gender neutral state…

So coming out can truly be a drag-and for some a very long 'dragged' out process at that…

Metta Jendar:)