Post Op Questions

February 23, 2009

I keeping with my policy of starting a new TOPIC every fifteen minutes - Suppose we had an opportunity to ask MTF post op person - one with six years experience in the real world as a real woman - questions?

What questions would we ask?

Suppose there was a new member here that just joined, and her name was - oh, pulling a name out of a hat - say... Paticia? And we didn't want to wait for her to post 5 or more times to start a PM barrage... what would we want to know?

Wouldn't we just hope she read this? Hope she might start replying right now, right here? Wouldn't we want that?

So I will start.

I am MTF and transitioning - but early - on just under three months HRT- getting excellant results (lucky I guess) and my therapist loves me. She calls SRS "frosting on the cake." I know I will take my transitioning to a point where I will just naturally need to have SRS as the next logical step. That is what I found by talking to other post op MTF people. What was that point for you and did your therapist feel the same?

Lizzy

As a note - this forum may be the least used at Laura's - so it needs a good set of topics to upgrade it, my opinion. I think even those who have not even gotten as far as finding out their identity can benefit from this section.

February 23, 2009

I'm a long way from SRS, still waiting to start hormones, but that's a long sad story.

How did you select your surgeon and do you have any advice for those who are just starting to look around?

I'm asking this on behalf of those who might not think to ask because I'm wierd and had my surgeon selected before my therapist and long before coming to Laura's.

I'll think of other questions as we go along.

Love ya and thanks for coming to the aid of the confused,

Sally

February 24, 2009

Kia Ora,

WARNING... THIS IS A LONG ONE!

Well, due to financial circumstances I was somewhat content with my pre op status, I was living in society as my affirmed gender - toilets and all-had been for four years... Surgery in any shape or form was not a major priority, my one and only desire was to live in society as my true gender and I had already achieved that, what was between my legs was of no major importance and for my eyes only [apart from the medical professionals that is]…

But one day I decided to look at having my penis and testicles ‘removed’, after all they were just hanging around with nothing to do-taking up space…One has to also take into account I’m a neo ‘asexual’ having no sexual interest whatsoever- plus four years of the HRT had already done it’s magic on my body ie, facial and body fat migration to all the right places so to speak-so just the ‘removal’ of unwanted ‘baggage’ was all I required and if this wasn’t possible I could have lived quite comfortably with that…

Well I first contacted Georgina Beyers whom at the time was a politician in the then governing Labour party, I offered to ‘exchange’ a kidney for penis and testicles removal, what could be so difficult in that-I would give another person a better quality of life in exchange for getting rid of some unwanted ‘foreign body’ parts…I guess for some people the thought of giving up a kidney sound quite abhorrent, but it was my genuine desire to do so, to kill to birds with one stone-we would both end up with a better quality of life…I should point out this was not out of desperation, it was a genuine desire to be of benefit to somebody…

Georgina was kind enough to pass my request on to the then minister of health who politely informed me that I would need to run my request by the ethics committee, but she didn’t think they would grant it…However in the last paragraph of her reply she mentioned a government funding programme and that I could ask my endocrinologist to apply for funding on my behalf for a ‘full’ genital reassignment surgical procedure…

Well to cut a very long story a bit shorter[but not much shorter]-my endo applied and all fell into place, I had to see the psycho surgical team who approve and perform the surgery, plus get independence psyche reports and a letter from my old counsellor and endo…The independent psyche report and the letters from my counsellor and endo sealed the deal…They were all in total agreement [as were the psycho-surgical team] surgery was the best course of action [it seemed Harry Benjamin wrote the standards according to me ]-“Having surgery” as my old counsellor put it “ is a very healthy choice for >>>> my real name!”

now to the actual surgery, well I had the more intrusive ‘colonvaginoplasty’ however I didn’t mind one bit, after all beggars can’t be chooser when it comes to a government hand out of $30,000 nz, plus that was the only type of surgery that the surgical team performed…There can be major complication with this type of surgery[sadly my friend is still having major problems -she too had her surgery in 2005, 6 months before me] more so than with the ‘run of the mill’ vaginoplasty, however I was one of the more fortunate ones, where all went well…

As you can tell no I didn’t select my surgeon nor the type of surgery - for me personally it just wasn’t an issue, surgery was surgery and in my case it was free…Truly the icing/frosting on the cake…Remember... Surgeons are only human and have good days and not so good days….

And what’s life like for me now, well to sum it up in one word ‘SWEET’… I’m happy and content just as I was before my surgery, however in saying that, surgery has taken a load of my groin/mind

BTW I’ve still got both my kidneys…

As for my experience living in the ‘real’ world. I’ve been told that I live in ‘LaLa Land’…I guess for the most part it’s because I tend to live in the ‘present moment’ as much as possible…I flow through life in a calm relaxed state, fortunately not having to run society’s gender gauntlet …The only time when I got ‘funny’ looks and the odd weird comment was when I was in the androgynous stage - when I first started HRT…During that stage people didn't use any pronoun-because they just weren't too sure what I was

Our transitions will all be different and how we adapt and assimilate into main stream society again depend on the individual and their personal circumstances…I live as a female in society and society see me as such- - height wise-1.6 mtr[5ft 4ins]…weight - 60 kgs [132 pounds]… bone structure fine/thin boned - facial features -androgynous pre HRT and voice natural mid range female… Mother Nature was good to me… it’s just the luck of the draw…

May all your journeys be as smooth as mine- and if not may you find true contentment with being your 'true self'...

Metta Jendar

February 24, 2009

Thank You Jendar that was sweet. BTW not too long at all.

Direct and to the point. Mia

February 24, 2009

I hoped that you would tell your story, Jendar.

I knew when this thread started that you had mentioned that you were post op and are so much better at expressing your feelings than most.

Love ya,

Sally

February 24, 2009

I am MTF and transitioning - but early - on just under three months HRT- getting excellant results (lucky I guess) and my therapist loves me. She calls SRS "frosting on the cake." I know I will take my transitioning to a point where I will just naturally need to have SRS as the next logical step. That is what I found by talking to other post op MTF people. What was that point for you and did your therapist feel the same?

Sorry I don't have any cute story little like Meta.

I knew before I even started therapy what my final destination would be.

That said SRS was the frosting on the cake. The most important step for me had happened 2 years previously, when I went full-time. No more having to be something I wasn't. I remember vividly my last day of work before flying off to San Francisco for FFS and starting full-time. My relief came in and I took of my old male lab coat and shoes and THREW THEM IN THE TRASH while saying "NEVER AGAIN". And I haven't looked back since.

February 24, 2009

Thanks, Leah,

I'm glad that you came in, Jendar tells her stories in a relaxed method that helps some people to understand better, you come straight to the point and get it done.

Both approaches work.

We need as many view points as possible because this is the biggest single decision that any of us will ever make after we have first decided to transition.

I would even like to hear from some of the ladies who have fully transitioned but opted not to undergo the surgery, yes they are fully transitioned and living as women because they are, remember we have always said that what is between your legs doesn't determine your gender that's true for when transition is complete as well.

You are fully transitioned when you are satisfied that your mind and body match, some require the SRS others don't some require a lot of FFS to feel complete others live with what they have it is all individual choice - whatever makes you feel right.

Almost all of the men require some surgery to feel complete or even to pass for some, but that final one is where a lot of them feel OK without it.

I knew before I started where I wanted to go - 57 years of awkwardness will do that for you as I said before, I selected my surgeon before I talked to anybody about it at all - her office was my first outing to anyone, I sent an E-mail and pretty much had to tell them about myself to get any information.

Love ya,

Sally

February 24, 2009

Kia Ora,

I forgot to mention a very important thing…’POST OP MAINTAINCE’ and the dreaded ‘dilation’…

For the first 3-6 months dilation takes up most of your waking hours- that is you tend to do things in between breaks from dilation….For me, I was told to dilate 3 times a day for the first 2-3 months then twice a day for a while then after a year[if one is non sexual] one only needs to do it once a week…However if you are ‘sexually’ intimate with a partner that is [once, twice or more aweek], then one only needs to dilate every now and again…

Dilation is a procedure that is meant to be done for the rest of ones life, however I know of a trans woman who stopped dilating a month after surgery she found it too painful/difficult…

I’ve hear some on this forum say I can’t wait to dilate …I’m sure it will be a different story when they are ‘forced’ to dilate to keep their neo vaginal entrance open…However in saying all that, I’m non sexual and now dilate once a week, it’s an habit I’ve become use to, there’s no pain, just at times a little uncomfortable…I don’t look forward to it, I just don’t think about it…

PS...You trans guys should think yourselves lucky

Metta Jendar

February 24, 2009

Suppose there was a new member here that just joined, and her name was - oh, pulling a name out of a hat - say... Paticia? And we didn't want to wait for her to post 5 or more times to start a PM barrage... what would we want to know?

Kia Ora Liz,

My apologies for jumping the gun and ratting off about my personal experiences...I've just been reading the blogs and came across 'Patrica's'....

Sorry for hogging the lime light...

I hope Patrica will post on this thread too...

Metta Jendar

February 24, 2009

No No No

Post op questions are an open topic

Anyone - Please feel free to place comments.

March 7, 2009

I just joined Laura's ...... don't remember if i was here a long time ago or not LOL!

I started (illegal) HRT when I was in my teens and may have had some Intersex complications as well. I had surgery at 24 as soon as it became available (1974), and have lived my whole life as a woman. I am "out" to only a few but if there is anything you would like to ask, I am pretty open (online) - just don't ask my real name or where I live LOL!

March 7, 2009

Hi Jane! We meet again.

March 8, 2009

I haven't had SRS yet, but also feel it would be icing on the cake. I still feel it would be necessary however.

I went full-time at the same time I received hormones, in spring 2006. I never looked back. I gave all my male clothes the following week, to my brothers or friends of theirs. I kept my mage robe and capes (pretty costly stuff anyways).

A few months later I was lucky enough to meet a FtM who wanted to give away his clothes. I gave him my most pricy cape (paid 160$) in exchange for just about all his girl clothes. This is how I figured my shoe size was around size 9 US women's (since that's the shoes he gave me). What's funny is although I was 24, and he was 15, and we were both very early in treatment (I had 2 months hormones, he had none at the time, though I directed him to ressources to start), I was actually smaller built than him, he just was shorter. So his clothes were even a bit large for me.

I've never gone back since I went full-time. And it was also pretty sudden. One day I presented as male (although a feminine one), the next I presented as female. Take note that I had quit my work a year prior so there would be no problem transitioning at work and only went to very few places including a place open on weekdays for 17-30 youth that was pretty understanding of the whole thing.

I only found work next in summer 2008 (after 26 months of hormones). I still work there now.

Though the pay isn't all that bad, I don't expect to make enough to finance surgery for a long time. Once that happens, I'll be happier, but I'm not going to work myself to death to make more money for it.

April 15, 2009

If an FTM with a meta wants optimal results, he'll have to log at least as much time pumping as a an MTF spends dilating. Of course, pumping is optional - the penis won't vanish without it. However, if one wants size, there's a price to be paid. Also, MTF gential surgeries get better results in fewer stages for less money. It's also often the only surgery an MTF gets. As such, I think it's the woman who should count themselves lucky.

April 28, 2009

Hmm, yaknow, I've sorta been floating through life seperate from the trans community. I'm trans, sure, but I pass just fune on HRT (that's a new phrase for me). No one has ever mistaken me for a guy. I've sort of been OK with my penis. I wouldn't mind having a vagina, and if I could get the government to foot the bill, I can't say I wouldn't consider it. I have alot of fears about walking down that road. Loss of sensitivity being top of the charts-- next to dying on the table.

It's funny though; the first thing that crosses my mind about GCS/SRS isn't, "finally, I can be complete." Rather, "now it's not so bad if I forget to get my estrogen shot." I hadn't thought SRS/GCS over in some time.

I think facial feminisation is more a higher priority to me. I may pass as a woman all the time, but there are things about my brow and hair line that bother the hell out of me.

January 20, 2010

Is this in the US? I'm disabled ex Army in the United States. I've been looking if there was a way to get funding or a loan or insurance that would make it possible for me to afford SRS since it is very important for me to have done. I'm not ready to have it done yet because I need to do my RLT but I am worried about being able to find a way to pay for it. Besides it will probably take awhile to find a way if there is one anyways. I sure would trade a kidney for it also if it came down to it. If anyone has any information that might help with funding, I would be so thankful if you could let me know. Feel free to PM me if you read this awhile from now in case I stop checking this thread.

quote name='Jendar' date='Feb 24 2009, 12:19 AM' post='49476']