Nervous about comming out to my parents

[Guest JeepGirl90]

Hey all,

February is going to be a big month for me. I have 3 key things happening,

1- I am moving to Delaware

2- I am gonig full time

3- I am finally coming out to my parents

the 3rd thing is what I'm starting to get nervous about. I haven't been aboe to come out to my parents because of I was renting the house I live in currently from them, and if things went badly then I could risk my home. However after the beginning of February I am moving out of that house and am finally going full time. This also means now that the "x factor" the prevented me coming out to them before will now be removed out the senario. While the date approaches closer, I am getting really nervous about it.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the anxiety, and on how to actually come out to them with minimal damage?

[Charlize]

I understand your fears dear. We have all had them. My parents had passed when i came out full time but my wife and son were a big fear. I would talk to your GT about it. Mine was very helpful. I would also recommend looking through some of the posts in the coming out forum. Others have faced similar situations and have good suggestions. It is i think different and difficult for all of us. You will do fine and afterwards will be able to be honest about yourself regardless of the outcome. For me that honesty about who i am has made this stage of my life wonderful in the true sense or the word. You will do fine. Try to relax and enjoy the beginning of the new year. Oh and by the way Happy New Year!

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Hon,

Since you are an adult you are in a very good position to come out to your parents with little consequence. I don't know your parents attitude or understanding of what it means to be trangendered, but I am sure you can explain it to them.

In my case, my coming out to my parents was a bit of a rollercoaster ride from acceptance to later doubt and challenge and then acceptance again. I ending up having very long and exhausting conversations with my family about me and being tansgendered. This entire episode lasted for about a year for me. This, I did not expect.

Anyway, be infinitly patient with them because their worlds and beliefs will be shattered (my parents world was).

I hope all goes well for you. And yes, being in a completely independent position is the best place to be before coming out to family (I was).

Just a thought...can you come out before going full time? Are you planning to come out to your parents after going full time?

Dang... hit the post button too early....

Good luck

Love

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

You've gotten some excellent advice, hon. It's rarely possible to predict how parents are going to react, and as its been pointed out, the first reaction is not always the final result. It's been said that its kind of like the stages of grieving, except that you add in a fear factor for parents, worried about the future of their offspring. I think its understandable, and you should be prepared for that.

Its always helpful to have some third party information available to provide them, so they can study up on it. There are lots of online resources, as well as good books. Just don't send them over to Fox News for info, OK?

The Coming Out Forum has great stuff on letters, do's and don'ts, and all that. I prefer the face to face approach, but letters and even e-mails have been known to work. It all depends on what you're comfortable with and your family dynamics. I wish you all the best, hon.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie