Oh...wow..it's anniversary time already.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I just realized it's March.

That means some time within this month was when I decided to go full time, so it's been (roughly, I don't remember the exact date) 2 years that I've been full time.

So a quick recap for people who don't know me and a refresher for everyone else: I never set a date for when I was going to go full-time. I have found whenever I plan something, life finds a way to throw a wrench into my plans and tries to foil said plans, so I knew if I picked an actual date for when I was planning on going full-time, something would most likely have happened and I would have had to delay it.

I was preparing for this moment. I was doing laser. I already had my name changed a few years prior, I wasn't on hormones just yet but that was no big deal to me because when I did dress, I was passing without it so it wasn't a huge priority to me. Every few weeks I was taking a weekend off and designating it as girl time and RLT-test-run time, where I would spend the entire weekend as a girl, and then Monday switch back to boy mode.

One particular weekend in March (again, don't remember the date), I thought to myself "Liz...let's not switch back on Monday. Let's try being a girl that day and see what happens. If it's a disaster or if I feel uncomfortable for any reason, you can just switch back."

So I did. Monday came and I cancelled my usual plan of boy mode and dressed like I had been all weekend. I was nervous, I was a bit scared because this was going to be all new to me, but I told myself to just stick with it...Liz, you can do this! So the first day came and went and it was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. By the end of the day, when I was taking the makeup off, I was still energized by how well the day went that I thought "Liz, let's do this tomorrow, too." So the next day came...and went. Again, same reaction.

By the end of the week, I was just so happy and excited with how things were going I thought to myself "Liz, let's do another week of this!" One week turned into two..then three..then four, a month! A month as a girl and while there may have been some ups and downs, it had been going fairly well (much to my surprise) so I didn't want this to end. I didn't want to go back to being a boy, this was turning out to be such an incredible experience that I didn't want it to stop.

I think it was some time in the next month where I thought "well, you can't stop now. Look at how well this is going, and you want to just stop and go back to how you were before? You can't stop now, Liz, that would be such a disappointment." So it was then where I decided that I couldn't stop being a girl and, for better or for worse, I had to keep doing this...for myself.

So it's been 2 years now that I've been full time. I never stopped and switched back to boy mode. I was tempted to a few times! Part of me said "Liz, in this particular instance it might be easier to just be a boy. Besides, it's only for one day, who's going to know?" But I stopped myself and said "No, Liz, no. If you switch back now for a day, your laziness will take over and you won't want to go back to being a girl. No, I forbid you to do it." So I listened to myself and I stuck with it. Besides, my pride was on the line. How could I honestly tell people I've been full time for a year if there was that one day where I wasn't? I couldn't do that! I even told myself, for better or for worse, I had to keep doing this. So..in good times and in bad..I kept on doing it.

Now it's been 2 years. I never once thought about switching back since then. Maybe it was just me being nervous or unsure of myself. I'm better now. I think I'm at the point now where even if I did want to switch back...I really couldn't. I've gone through so many personal and cosmetic changes that ... now this is going to sound bad... I'm pretty much stuck this way now. I have to be a girl now because I have no other alternative. I can't be a boy! Even on those frumpy days where I don't look the most feminine I still get called ma'am so I really have no other alternative now.

Besides, I wouldn't want to go back to being a boy anyway. Being a girl is awesome, and amazing and going full time has been one of the most rewarding and exciting experiences I've ever had and I wish I had done this sooner. That's my only regret is that I wish I had done this about a year sooner but that's a common statement from most girls who made the jump to full time.

Stuff I learned along the way: (your experiences may vary)

-Women really do compliment each other, even on little things like nail color (an ex tried to tell me otherwise)

-Your foot and leg position while sitting on the toilet in a bathroom stall is not important, nobody cares.

-Noone is listening to the way you're urinating in said toilet in a bathroom stall, nobody cares.

-There will be some women who don't like you just because you're also female. That's their problem, not yours.

-Not all men will be chivalrous to you because you're a woman. Some will outright refuse to be.

-Don't expect doors to be held open for you, even if your arms are full.

-When talking about yourself, be prepared to omit certain experiences that normally wouldn't be afforded to women. I can't exactly talk about my camping experiences with the Boy Scouts or even tell people I'm an Eagle Scout.

-If you need to make up a pretend boyfriend to get a creepy guy to back off, just talk about your previous male life and a previous job you had. If he presses for a name, use your old male name. (this assumes you're single, which I currently am)

-Be prepared to be interrupted for no other reason than some guy just wants to say hi to you and flirt a little bit.

-There's no such thing as being too polite! Remember your "please" and "thank you"s.

-Also "sorry" or "I'm sorry" for any time where you're interrupting, in the way, need to get past someone, accidentally bump someone, someone's confiding in you about the lousy day they're having, etc.

-Practice, practice, practice! Practice makeup, practice your mannerisms, your walk, how to do your hair, your voice, your speech (note the difference between the two)

-Pick and choose who you come out to, should you decide you want to tell someone you're trans. Not everyone needs to know. Most of my guy friends don't know, and most likely will never know. On the other hand, some of my girl friends know and that has made us closer friends than before. If you feel like you're really connecting with someone on a friend level and you two have confided in each other about other things, consider maybe coming out to them. Of course you don't have to, it's your decision. It's worked for me with the friends who I have come out to, and that's allowed me to be more open with them and be able to talk about transition-related things that I don't really have others who I can talk/vent about with. On the other hand, you may get the impression that this person wouldn't be as understanding as you'd hoped so you'll have to rely on your personal judgement should you decide to tell someone, if you want to tell someone at all. Again, it's completely your choice.

So yeah, just wanted to share from my 2 years experience in the trenches.

[Guest Brenda Hailey]

I like your seamless no definite date strategy. I may employ something like that myself. Maybe the waking up one day and realizing it has already been done for a long time will be more rewarding than looking back at a calendar and wishing it was later or sooner.

"-Your foot and leg position while sitting on the toilet in a bathroom stall is not important, nobody cares." - Larry Craig of Idaho disagrees -

Congratulations on having two years worth of one day at a times

Brenda

[Charlize]

Liz i always enjoy your posts!

I was in a crowded ladies room yesterday and had precisely the thoughts you just mentioned. Foot position and noise is strictly my concern after all i'm in a stall!

I think my full time date will be two years in May but i had a funeral to attend where my coming out to there full family at that point would not have been so good. I was forced to wear a suit. The next time i wore a suit was in front of the judge for my name change hearing. The skirt was perhaps a bit short for my age but i doubt he noticed.

Keep enjoying the journey. It only seems to get better at least as far as the gender issues go.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

Thanx for the re-cap and the update Liz.

Wow, 2nd anniversary already.

Congratulations.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest LizMarie]

Lizzie you always make me smile! Congratulations!

[Cyndee]

That's a wonderful experiences list Lizzie and really where did that tinkle sound myth come from anyway ?

Congrats on your 2 years and thanks for sharing a bit of it here

Hugs

Cyndi -

[JJ]

Congratz Lizzie! I have always admired how you have handled your transition and the experiences life on the road brings with it.

All the best

Johnny

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Really though, the only thing they will complain about in the bathroom is that smell, but I blame it on the person before me.

...and then quickly leave.

[KathrynJulia]

The no planned day of starting works. I slowly over several months began exchanging out more and more feminine clothing until hey you're full time. Congrats on two years Lizzie. Your post was spot on and very informative for our up and coming transitioners. Kathy