What's it feel like? MTF

[Guest]

Hi I'm Kira. New to this site. Please let me know if this is inappropriate to ask - i don't think it is, but looking around here and other places on the net I can't seem to find any decent answers to this (fairly simple and obvious I think) question. Maybe i've just missed the topic. I know following SRS there is a lot of pain and dilation and general misery in the physicality department, there's plenty of stories about that. But after the surgery, after the healing is done, what does it feel like physically? Biologic females have a difficult time explaining this as they have sensations to compare it to but I would think post-ops are in the best position to try. Emotionally and mentally there seems to be a plethora of answers to this, which is great as that's the primary reason I think we all desire the change, but for me I'm still very curious about the more physical feelings and aspects. Does it just feel like your old bits rearranged? Can you tell what used to be what or does it feel like an entirely new part of you? What's it like to use the restroom, to sit without something being in the way to get tangled, to have underwear and pants fit right? How does it differ? Or do you really not notice it all that much, does it really just become something that's so natural you really only notice the fact that you don't feel ill at ease anymore? For those who remain orgasmic how does that work? Anything you'd like to add I didn't think of?

Sorry I realize that those are an awful lot of personal questions but I can't help but wondering, hopefully someone is willing to share or can point me towards where the sharing has already happened. Thanks,

[Guest JackieMichelle]

Have you read She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders? I believe a few of your questions are answered in there; even if they are not, it is a great book and Mrs. Boylan puts into words some aspects of being trans that I couldn't for my wife.

[Drea]

You have come across all the posts talking about how much fun dialating can be? And how juicy post-op sex is? The sex topic always seems to be of great interest when it comes up but few directly ask that.

On a serious note...how does one describe it?? What are the reference points really? Maybe some newbie postie can quantify it better.

I can say it in a word and say "normal" but that is just me and doesn't convey any meaning at all.

[Guest Ky_Ki]

I have seen the posts about dilation but even then it usually is just described as uncomfortable or painful or annoying, which is about as helpful as "normal". Going through the forums more deeply I have found one or two posts under obscure thread titles that start to approach answering the questions giving a nugget or two of description before veering into more emotional and psychologic territory, which is understandable given the joy of the moment most of these posters must be experiences. I get the difficulty in describing indescribable sensations (i.e. What does sweet taste like? What's it like to have an opposable thumb? ) but still I hope a few are out there than can do it. : - )

[Guest Ky_Ki]

Sorry for the double post, I need to remember posts aren't editable here...Jackie I haven't read that book or even heard of it but I'll be sure to look into - already check my library's ebook catalog and unfortunately no dice there but I have a few B&N gift cards hanging around somewhere I think.

[Guest]

I'm off topic here, Kira.

If you're interested in reading material check the "Books" sub-Forum in the "Entertainment Forum".

Just sayin'.

Huggs,

Joann

[VickySGV]

I guess I am "one of the new post-ops" Drea was referring to. I kept a pretty good run of posts going from my surgery date of Jan 15, 2013 until now in the Post Op forum, and a few in the Surgery's forum dating from 11/5/2012 with some comments in other peoples threads too. Lets see if I can come close to what I think you are really asking -- this is a timeline, and things change over time.

At 1640 Pacific Standard Time on January 15 I could not have told you where my pain and feelings were coming from, all of me hurt. That was when I was brought to my room from the recovery ward.

For the first few weeks I could feel touch in the surgical field and most of it was recognizeable as coming from the right general area. Painful sensations from inside the neo vagina did not however give me an accurate guide to source location. A painful sensation from inside of it DID feel like it was on my outer labia. A yeast infection I developed did make the whole area painful on a uniform basis which did confuse things a bit more than just a bit. I was able to sense where my dilator was with pretty good accuracy and relation to position. It felt like where it really was!

After the sutures had all dissolved, (about 3 - 4 weeks) touch sensations were traceable to specific locations, but just a bit off. It depended on the source of the tissue used for the plastic applications.

At about 7 weeks dilation did produce pleasurable sensation when the dilator tip was near the site of my prostate gland, and that was identifiable for where it was. Sensation in the vagina did have some but not much similarity to sensation of the scrotal and penile shaft in nature, but I could identify its general location.

At six months nerve sensations became identifiable as to location on a predictable basis. Improvement to 100% reliability continued and still does at 15 months. In addition to basic pressure and temperature sensations, there were feelings that distinguished between pleasant and unpleasant touch and chemical contacts.

Last December at the 11 month spot in time, the clitoral and clitoral hood areas began intensifying their sensitivity to certain types of touch, and it is getting better every day.

My vulvar area is NOT the soul source of my erotic sensations, which was true before the surgery. There was some "phantom limb" types of sensation that resolved themselves over time and experience. I know that my brain was highly involved in the matter as far as experience and repetition goes for lining my nerve patterns up, just the way they had been learned in my childhood and young adulthood.

Unless I specifically want an erotic dilation session, and prepare for it, dilation is the same as brushing my teeth and taking my full load of daily medication. I classify a hot shower as a more pleasant single experience, and a bubble bath tops it all.

I hope this is closer to what you were looking for in an answer.

[Guest Ky_Ki]

Hey Vickie thanks for the response, you're on the right track. I guess I'm really just on a search for the mundane, every day details of sensation - as if trying to describe if to someone with no frame of reference...which I guess is exactly what I am. :-( I'm less interested in surgical period and more towards when things become "normal" I guess you might say. Thanks again for responding.

[VickySGV]

Put a glob of soap on your fingers and rub it in the palm of the other hand, or make an O of your forefinger and thumb and treat the center of the O to the hand soap. Imagine that happening down in your crotch. That is the mundane, everyday sensation that I get from my daily chore. .

[Guest]

Hi Kira,

My last post blew out into cyberspace. This probably won't be half as good - my apologies!

I'm 13 months postop, and about 3 years on HRT. The time before both of those things seems forever ago. I am at that point that you mention, "so natural that I don't feel ill at ease any more". Most of the time I forget that I'm trans, and just feel like other human beings who don't have gender on their minds 24/7.

A few "what's it like" tidbits come to mind:

Surgery - it was painful, but I tolerated the pain well. In fact, probably too well - I was overactive and caused myself problems at times

Recovery - I had a number of post-op problems, and took nearly 2 months to be healed completely. I still have one post-op problem that may never be fixed.

Dilation - It's just a hygiene thing like many other things I do. I find it a pleasant, in the way that toothbrushing is pleasant. Sometimes it feels a lot better than toothbrushing could ever feel. My doctor's instructions about it were rather loose, and I try to dilate every other day, but miss at least one day a week.

Sex - See dilation. I am happily married but we're asexual.

Urination - At my job, I listen to other women doing their thing at about 10 times the rate I do. And it's messy, I use lots of TP and occasional cleaning wipes. In spite of that, it's the time that I'm most conscious of my new parts, and I love the change.

Panties - Yes, it's good to pull them up and not have to tuck stuff away. It's a funny thing that catches me by surprise occasionally - the old habit of tucking has me reaching for something that isn't there any more - good for an inward smile. I wear pantyhose 3 or 4 times a week. They feel especially comfortable nowadays. But, there is some residual postop sensitivity. Cotton panties (boring) are far more comfortable than the pretty ones that I'd like to wear.

What do I feel - I always felt like that other body part ruled my life. It hijacked my consciousness all too frequently, and often totally inappropriately. I now feel free to live my life without that foreign object being in charge, I love that I can interact with anyone now, and not have the sexual dissonance in the background. My term for it: "Peace in the panties".

I do hope that everyone who needs to have surgery can eventually get there. I am not saying however that it's the only solution, or even a perfect solution. But, for me, It's been a godsend, so glad that I had that opportunity.

Love, Megan

[Guest Leah1026]

1. I know following SRS there is a lot of pain and dilation and general misery in the physicality department, there's plenty of stories about that. But after the surgery, after the healing is done, what does it feel like physically?

2. but for me I'm still very curious about the more physical feelings and aspects. Does it just feel like your old bits rearranged? Can you tell what used to be what or does it feel like an entirely new part of you?

3. What's it like to use the restroom, to sit without something being in the way to get tangled, to have underwear and pants fit right? How does it differ? Or do you really not notice it all that much, does it really just become something that's so natural you really only notice the fact that you don't feel ill at ease anymore?

1. I didn't have much pain at all. What discomfort I had was from my bowels being slow to wake up from the anesthesia, not from the op site. Dilation quickly just becomes a chore that has to be done. How does it feel? Like it always should have.

2. How does it feel? Again, like it always should have.

3. I've sat down for years before SRS, so that hasn't changed at all. The only major change was needing to stock more toilet paper.

The biggest change with SRS was a profound feeling of congruence, of completeness and that I'm whole.

[Drea]

1. I didn't have much pain at all. What discomfort I had was from my bowels being slow to wake up from the anesthesia, not from the op site. Dilation quickly just becomes a chore that has to be done. How does it feel? Like it always should have.

2. How does it feel? Again, like it always should have.

3. I've sat down for years before SRS, so that hasn't changed at all. The only major change was needing to stock more toilet paper.

The biggest change with SRS was a profound feeling of congruence, of completeness and that I'm whole.

What I like about Leah's post here is that it pretty simply gives the impression of the day to day experience.

Unless one's desire really was to just know what the surgery process is like, what post-op chores are line or post-op sex, I think it can't be stated much better than above.

[Guest KimberlyF]

I can never relate to these kinds of questions because they never crossed my radar. But it's kinda like what some people just before starting HRT ask. What does it feel like to have boobs? In my day to day life, I don't notice or feel my fingers or my knees or my toes unless I focus on that area for some reason. And I don't feel any breast growth. It isn't like that flesh feels different to everything else. As the healing continues, it is feeling more and more like nothing. Like any other part of me.

Shockingly, I am happy that my underwear fits better. I have no clue what went where or where things came from. The sitting to pee thing is much messier at the moment but it's better than it was.

[Guest IreneT]

Painful, yes!!! it was surgery and that is never fun no matter what the reason. Dilation, routine, just like shaving was before and I hated to shave. Restroom, yes, a lot easier and the women's locker room is a lot friendlier place to use now. HRT took care of clothes fitting right, as I was using them I noticed a large (pun intended) change in my bottom and hip areas so the surgery just made it perfect. I am 7 years post op now so how does everything feel after all these years, perfect, like nature intended it to be this way, and that's a good feeling.

IreneT

[Guest Sarah E]

Hi Kira Firstly, I really wish for you that you can experience these things yourself one day. You sound like a young lady who really needs to have SRS and I hope you'll enjoy the journey to it in the same way I did. What's it like being an post op MTF? Imagine being on a long journey home from a distant place, and then finally getting home and that "glad to be home" feeling. We have all had that feeling after a long flight and a dreary drive home from the airport! Having SRS is that same feeling but ten times better and with a huge sense of sense pride, achievement and the relief that you are finally YOU.

For the physical side. Well my SRS experience was pretty much painless (Charing Cross in London are fantastic ) and I will always look back on it with fond memories. Dilation wasn't much fun in the early days though and it hurt like hell Things are obviously very different physically, but it was strange because it was like I just forgot overnight how my old kit felt and worked and my new kit just felt completely natural, as if I'd always had a vagina. I took to my female anatomy like a duck to water and it just felt, and still does, totally normal. So whilst things are now in different places it is not something that I have ever really been that aware of. Feeling the urge to pee is the same as before but the feeling is now lower down and of course, I have nothing to grab and squeeze any more if I'm fit to burst! Sometimes an itch down there will catch me out as it feels out if location - I guess some nerve/brain mappings never get re-wired! But generally, my brain just seemed to adjust straight away

Using ladies toilets is the same as before I had the surgery but the actual act of peeing became much easier (for me anyway) because there's no awkward untucking and re-tucking You just lower your (now nicely fitting) undies and sit down, completely hands free, just like any woman has to do. However you now need to be aware of the general state of the toilet and the seat because the urethra is much shorter and positioned lower than before and so the dreaded urinary tract infections (UTF) are always a risk for females. I have had a few in my 8 years post op and they are not nice. I never had a single UTF in all my years will male equipment but hey ho. And you'll never realise how essential toilet paper is when you're a woman!

Sensitivity is something I have thankfully retained and the great thing about being a female is that I can feel aroused without having to worry about anyone seeing a tell-tale bulge! That is so liberating So how does being post op feel? It feels great to just be the real me after years of turmoil

I hope you get to be who you want to be one day too Kira

[Guest alexaz]

Hi Kira

I know this response is very late and not sure if you will see it but here goes.

I am pre everything except I have a therapist now and am a woman in every way but physical

I understand exactly what your asking, I ask it also..But never get the response that Im looking for.

So..heres my thoughts/response.

when I tuck correctly I sometimes put my hand down there to "FEEL the area.

I dont have to spread my fingers apart to bypass the junk so I can feel the smoothness between my legs.

If I press to hard I still feel sensation from the junk but if I softly caress the area I dont feel the "limb" and I feel like Im holding my real self.

And I think it feels like it will after srs. maybe not as much but close.

The feeling overcomes me and I know that its a natural feeling. My brain sez "yes you are a woman" and my body sez "I feel as any woman does"

I know this isnt exactly what we are asking but it seems to answer at least some of my question.

As far as top sensation. again Im pre everything so its different but I have some breast forms that I wear sometimes and although the surface feeling isnt there they do feel good to my hands and if I press on them a little harder I can feel under them and that sensation feels good to my skin/body.

I also try to internalize the feelings down below and feel what its like inside of me. I have had some success doing this and it feels wonderful.

Im sorry that this isnt exactly what we're looking for but maybe it will help you a little in knowing "WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE"

My hopes are that someone can answer these questions for us and others the way we need them answered but for now we try what we can do to answer them our selfs.

I dont know if or when you will have SRS but if and when you do, PLEASE post something to answer these questions for the rest of us.

THANK YOU and best of luck.

alexa

[Guest]

Alexaz I definitely will, though it is a very long ways off in the future and by then I'll probably forget.

And as to what you said about tucking: yep.

[Guest KerryUK]

Well, perhaps I'm closer than both of you. My surgery date is set for June this year. For now, I feel the same as Alexa says except that my shape is different owing to being on HRT for 20 months. My breasts are still developing and so they are hurting nearly all of the time (I'm not complaining) but they are definitely breasts now - though as yet, they don't seem to be as sensitive as I had expected. Elsewhere, I've had muscle mass reduction and fat redistribution. In the 'downstairs' department, things have also reduced - so when I tuck, it gives the impression that there is nothing there. The only time I really get a 'reminder' is when I go to the toilet - then of course (because I'm pre-surgery) ITS there and requires the usual rigmarole of tucking again.

I will no doubt, revisit once I am post surgery and try to let you know what it's like.

Kerry x.

[Guest JaneShannon]

Adding to Ky's question, does anyone get phantom pains?

thanks,

Jane Shannon

[Guest alexaz]

Thank you Kerry x

The info you gave was helpful but brought up more questions....giggle

Breast sensation ? You say you dont feel much. Is that because your not fully developed or "just the way it is"

Maybe others can answer this better. As time goes on, do you have more sensation on the surface...under the skin...deep inside your breasts?

Downstairs: I have heard that HRT reduces size down there...As I understand SRS, Depth depends a lot on size of your member...does this reduction in size affect your depth outcome?

Next but surely not my last question lol.

In my research (very extensive) I understand there are a lot of techniques to srs and some seem to create more sensation in the Vagina than others.

Any suggestions, comments, concerning this as I like most others would like the most "feeling" there if possible.

On a exciting and much awaited for note: With in a week or 2 (depending on GOV paper shuffling ) I will be starting on HRT wooooohooooo !!!!!

Any does or donts from anyone on what will make this more effective and easier on my body. ie. more water,supplement, etc

Thank you all for your being here and your support for all of us.

Alexa

[Guest KerryUK]

Sorry for the delay Alexaz, I've been moving house.

In answer, the sensitivity I mentioned is the sort of pleasurable sensitivity experienced by some ciswomen and some women here who are further along in their transition than I am. It's what I believe to be pleasure when the nipples and aereolas are stroked. I must admit that I have found more recently that there are times when I do experience some pleasure but not as much as I thought. The pain I mentioned is a bit like if you had a bruise behind the nipple, I've now had that for almost 2 years and don't know if it will ever go away but I guess that's the price of womanhood. Do I mind? Not one bit.

Kerry x

[Guest Promethea]

It's been over a year since this thread was started, and yet only one person got close to answer the same question, so I'll try to clarify the question as I have the same curiosity.


I know I will find out myself, but that's still a few years down the line and I'm really really curious now, so let me phrase it this way: when an object is inserted into your neo vIt's been over a year since this thread was started, and yet only one person got close to answer the same question, so I'll try to clarify the question as I have the same curiosity.

I've always been intrigued by big changes in the body and what the sensation must be. Like really obese people, how does their body feel to them? What do people with really really big butts feel when they sit on a regular chair/toilet. Or people that get breast reductions or mastectomies. A while ago I saw a clip from a stand up comedy routine by a transman, he said if he was into nipple play he would have to be touched in the armpits, because that's where his nipple sensation was after top surgery.

I know I will find out myself, but that's still a few years down the line and I'm really really curious now, so let me phrase it this way: when you insert an object into your neo* vagina (whether it is a dilator, a dildo, a penis, a finger or a very confused baby kangaroo), does it feel like it's going in or like if something's touching part of the glans (in those case where tissue from the glans was used for the vaginal opening) and then something else was holding the base of the shaft and then sliding up? Or like something entirely different?

* I hope nobody is offended by the use of the term "neo vagina", I personally like it, it sounds futuristic, artsy, or like Keanu Reeves, all good things to have down there (although I'd prefer Carrie-Anne Moss).

Edited July 2, 2015 by Promethea
paragraph removed at posters request

[Guest KerryUK]

Well Promethia,

Ridiculous as this may sound, but it's very difficult to describe. Let's look at how a fat person 'feels'. As that person puts on weight it is a gradual process and so they adjust to the changing body shape etc as it happens. My bum is bigger than it was before I started hormones- does it feel any different? Well, no - because it happened slowly and so how it felt adapted with the changes over many months. The only reason that I know it's bigger is because my jeans are tighter.

How does a 'neo vagina' (your term, not mine) feel. In this instance, the change is sudden BUT it is 'moving things around' so it doesn't necessarily feel like a vagina per se. I'm now one week post-op and I can describe how it feels in couple of ways:-

1). Twinges - these tend to feel like they are coming from wherever the nerve was located before the op (so a twinge can feel like it has just come from the foreskin area but that isn't there anymore so it must now be from my clitoris).

2).Tightness - this is a feeling around the whole of the site as it feels like there is still a surgical dressing pushed on the site (but there is nothing there). I put this down to the fact that there is an awful lot of swelling down there.

So, I can honestly say that to me - my new vagina just feels like erm (gosh this is difficult) - ME. It will take a little while now for my brain to catch up and recognise that there has been some 'shuffling' around down there.

Hope this helps Promethius.

Kerry