Nearly 1 year old!

[Guest JennyChloe]

Well, it appears that I changed my name 11 months ago! so next month I get my 1st birthday!!!

So thought I'd give a quick update since I've not been here for some time.

I've also been on E for 3 months (yes, the UK system is painfully slow to get things started!), and I'm already noticing changes! - next week I have to visit my doctor to get my dose doubled

I consider that I've been very lucky this far. Apart from the occasional wrong name, or wrong pronoun from those who have known me since before, I've been pretty much accepted as myself, and treated just like any other woman. I guess I have been "passing" better than I initially worried I would. (I put passing in quotes, because I don't feel like I'm trying to pass as anything I'm not. I am a woman and it's really not my fault that my body got it wrong!)

At my last visit down to CC, I was asked how I'd been taken (by the community) as it's a rural area, and my GT noted that in my area, the reactions have either been fairly old fashioned and like OMG, or the exact opposite - oh yeah never mind and get on with it! - I'm pleased to say that I got the latter - the reaction to those I told was more often than not "oh ok, that explains it then, fair enough!" and then carry on like nothing had happened. Anyone I didn't know beforehand seems to not have noticed, I'm just another woman in the crowd (although around here it's a pretty small crowd!). Also those who had seen me before (in shops and the like) who I've spoken to since, were like "yeah, I remember seeing you before, you look so much better now" and they're right! I AM so much better now. I'm not better, but I'm getting there and I know it!

I feel more like myself, I experience less dysphoria, drink less (hardly any now) don't smoke anymore, feel healthier, and generally (in my eyes most of the time) look "better".

I still get the dysphoria, but it generally tends to last for shorter periods and never seems quite so intense.

The HRT is already helping, I'm noticing changes to my body already, most noticeably my face - my cheeks have "fleshed out" somewhat, but it's definitely affected my mood - I'm able to relax withot having to be constantly occupied or drunk. I'm on tablets, and missed a dose (unintentionally, and I caught up the next morning!) but even that small surge in T kickstarted the dysphoria, and made me start seeing more of what I disliked.

I was asked a short while ago if I was sure about "what I was doing". I can honestly say YES - It's fantastic! - I don't want to be seen as anything special, or out of the ordinary. I'm just a woman living her life, and there are parts of it that are a complete mess, but I'm loving being able to just be me.

Hugs

Jenny

[Charlize]

Sounds like you are doing wonderfully Jenny. I love the comments that you look better. I have gotten that as well and even you lost 20 years. I glow and simply say i feel it as well. Being ourselves is simply so sweet and while we are simply living as ourselves it is lovely.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

What a great, upbeat report, Jenny! I am especially appreciative of any who have gotten that far through the NHS. The main thing is that you are happy, living the life you wanted to live, and are being accepted as Jenny without any ruckus. It probably has a lot to do with the kind of person you are, and were. Congrats, and best wishes for many more fantastic changes, and much more happiness.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JennyChloe]

Thanks to both of you for your lovely words. It is great to just be yourself, and I'm definitely a much better person now than I used to be. I don't think I'd want to know me the way I was before!!

Hugs

Jenny