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[Guest ashleynikole]

So I was thinking today that within the next 6 months, I'd like to change my name and start my RLE portion of my journey. Now this question really just centers around Facebook and getting some comments from the peanut gallery on which might be the better path and why.

My Facebook profile is still "his" and that's mainly because I haven't come out there yet. I plan on doing that very soon, but then I thought about my name change and realized a couple of things. My current profile has somewhere between 400 and 500 acquaintances and also has a lot of pictures of my family and friends as well as myself. When I come out and change my name, I'm not sure if I should get a new profile or just change the current one.

If I get a new profile, it will be starting over with no historical timeline of my life. Really will be like a new life.

If I keep my old profile, there is history there, it's still a part of me, but there will be all my old pictures and that might just be a little awkward for a newcomer to my profile.

So, just curious as to your thoughts. What would you do?

Would you make a whole new profile, or keep the old one and just change it?

[VickySGV]

I did not begin using FB until after I was transitioning, so I just straight out identified as female. My thought from what little I know about it, would be to make a new profile with "him" as a family member.

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I maintain several Facebook accounts. One is in my old name, with no personal information other than the person to whom I'm married. There are no "friends", and it's just a convenient way to watch the activities of my family and occasionally post something to the page of the Great Dane rescue organization I assist.

There's a very active Kenna Henderson presence on Facebook through which I control another page called "Transgender Truth" and a third one where I promote some of my books. It serves as a way for people to reach me, and I've been able to do some outreach and interviews as a result.

I'm not a fan of the day-to-day minutiae that's the meat and potatoes of Facebook. I filter all that out, in fact. I don't "follow" anyone. But Facebook can be a useful tool when used judiciously.

[Guest So-kool]

I am seriously considering making a new profile with just My female Identity. I am not changing names between the two identities. I have noticed that my female dentity is acquiring her own friends. Even though her friends know she is trans it is as though it may as well be a totally different person because many have not met "him" and "he" is not out as

Being trans. This is mostly to spare family the embarrassment of this hideous affliction.!

I would love to live for "me" but i try to avoid causing pain to others I love. (Children, grand-chdren siblings and spouse)

Fact is "she" does not Need "his" history at this point but can simply start at "this is me at my first year of transition" and leave it at that. The rest is a need to know basis or upon request.

This way i can keep her growing and happy while still having his family and friends a little curious about his physical changes but not daring to out him. It would also help to have her profile if for instance someone wants to "tag" her in an event or something. it just cant be done in secret with two shari g same profile!

[Charlize]

Shortly after i went full time i had an article written about me and my art in the local paper called "Art Transcends Gender". The day after the paper came out i changed my picture on Facebook. I no longer was trying to hide from anybody. It helped i think to let others know i'd changed. Like a birth announcement i got congratulations from many but those who didn't want to see the change could simply stay away rather than being awkward later. There have been many surprises anyway but being as out there as possible has helped both me and people who have known me. I was a bit scared, but overall as i look back, it was the right thing for me.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest LizMarie]

I created a second FB account and have basically migrated over to it. The only reason I keep the old account at all (I almost never post there anymore) is to occasionally check on things about family who have otherwise cut me off. I have warned others that I am likely to eventually close down the old FB account as I slowly add details to the new one, especially about personal history.

[Guest]

I did not begin using FB until after I was transitioning, so I just straight out identified as female. My thought from what little I know about it, would be to make a new profile with "him" as a family member.

2^nd that.

Way too many similarities.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Edu]

Everyone's circumstances are different, and what works great for someone may be a huge mistake for someone else.

But FWIW I'll share my own experience:

I went with full disclosure: back in October, I made a public post on Facebook (and, a few days later, another one on G+) explaining the whole topic: I'm trans, I'm planning on getting into HRT, and I might eventually get SRS. I also invited anyone to ask any questions. From most of my contacts, I expected indifference, ignorance, and/or political correctness. Instead I got flooded by displays of unconditional support.

When, during February, Facebook introduced the new gender options, I made full use of them and my profile now publicly displays my choice as "Gender nonconforming trans female"

I know that, in many places, this degree of openness may be dangerous. I didn't take that leap lightly: I considered the risks (in my case, not many) and potential gain (the ability to not have to hide anymore) very carefully. Honestly, I was scared and literally shaking when I was about to click the "Post" button, but shortly afterwards I felt better than I ever had

This is what worked for me. But only you can figure out what will work for you.

Hugs,

Edu

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Like others I also didn't bother creating a facebook profile until I was already going full time. Though I was using it primarily as a way of getting back in touch with friends from high school and all of that, and by and large most people took it all really well.

I know alot of people though who toyed around with a second account for awhile and they would ultimately always just at some point change their original account and ditch the new one. Especially once they were usually full time! If it were me though, I'd just skip the starting a second account and change the original people in your life are going to eventually have to know anyways.

[Guest KimberlyF]

I created a new account. Although for the record, I never really used my first account. My wife made me join and took it over because she needed FB friends for games she plays.

[Guest Mickey]

A few months ago I made a post on FB, it was my coming out post, as Trans*, soon to be starting HRT and hopefully sooner rather than later, living as female, maybe getting GCS eventually. Just not really sure about that at this time for other health reasons. Anyway, when FB made the wonderful, accepting changes to gender choices, I changed mine, Trans Woman, and I added a -a to my name, Carl-a. I'm just trying to give friends and family a chance to adjust to the changes. I've lost a few friends but I have gained more than I lost.

I hid myself for way too long and am tired of hiding. I no longer care what anyone thinks of me, it is what I think of me that matters. And I finally like me, so anyone that don't like the new me can kiss it, they weren't the friend I thought they were. The new friends I've found are totally accepting, like me, for me and treat me in the way I wish to be treated.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Excellent responses. I had no idea what I thought I might want to do, though I was leaning toward just keeping the same profile and switching when I go full time (name change and all) and that may be what I do. I have no qualms about people knowing. I figure those who want to know more will stick around, those that don't won't, and it's none of my business why or why not. I'm not particularly attached to anyone on my friends list so it wouldn't hurt if they all went away (though it might make FB boring...lol).

Good to see the variety of things that others have done. Some I never really thought about as a way to handle it.

Thanks

[Guest chargrl1]

I'm into this a little late, but what I did was create a new profile and just gradually migrated to it until I finally just closed off the old one.

I did find that messaging people on Facebook was not a viable method of telling old friends about yourself. Email or a handwritten letter of eplanation has always worked best for me. It has to be very carefully worded and not too explicit about physical things.

Those are my experiences with that side of life.

[Ravin]

I have my pronouns set to neutral for now, and changed my name to the one I plan on changing my legal name to. I did this after coming out to family I felt needed to be told in person.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

When I first created my FB account, I started with my female name even though it would be years and years before it actually became a reality. I had pretty much began an online presence as female (starting with myspace before FB took off) and people who knew me personally already knew about me so it was no big deal. I didn't want to be known online as male so right from the start I began as female so I didn't have to change anything or do anything special once I began transition.

[Guest otter-girl]

There's also any blogging or flickr type stuff. I started migrating some old pictures to my new blog recently. it raises the (remote in my case) but interesting idea of getting accused of plagiarism. Haha

Hugs

Rachel.

[Guest Zeda]

I used Facebook as a platform from which to inform friends and family that I am trans. All of the people that I was "friends" with were indeed friends or relatives or people with whom I interacted frequently. Since they would all find out sooner or later, I announced it, let them know my plan, what changes they might see, what things I wasn't going to do and opened it up for questions. I also made sure to explain my stance on pronoun usage and my name. I only lost one person I believe, but it has made a lot of things easier.