Woah, that was a close one, Liz!

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Some times while you're comfortable in your role as your preferred gender, you forget about things that you once took for granted as the gender you journeyed from (is that a word? I like how I phrased that though...journeyed from..because transition is like an odyssey, the Oregon Trail if you will (minus the river crossings and the buffalo shooting).

One day I found myself being really chatty with another lady who I was hitting it off with really well. We were talking and sharing and talking and sharing and she simply asked me "Do you have any children?" Now before this crazy gender transition happened, my default answer in boymode was "none that I'm aware of." So I'm sure you can imagine when she asked me such a question (perfectly valid question to ask a woman in the general get-to-know-you sense), I was JUST ABOUT to say "none that I'm aware of" but then I caught myself.

No! Liz. That line doesn't work any more! It won't get the same laughs as it used to. Suffice it to say if I were to say now "none that I'm aware of", I wouldn't be met with laughs but more of confused looks and questions. In all honesty, being a woman, if I had any children....I'd be aware of it! Not only because I carried it around inside me for 9 months (you tend to remember that), but in the majority of cases, you're also expected to be the one to take care of it after you've given birth to it. So yeah, 'none that I'm aware of' doesn't apply over on this team. I could get away with it when I did the guy thing but not any more.

So yeah, can't say that phrase any more!

[Carolyn Marie]

The challenge now is, of course, to find another snappy come back that does work. Maybe, "Hmmmm, I seem to recall one or two." Or how about a nice, "not yet, but I'm hoping someday..."

I've talked about my son to strangers or casual acquaintances. So far, they've just assumed I'm his mom. It is kind of a nice, harmless fiction. Just have to keep track of who I've told which story.

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Good catch Liz! We still carry so much of him with us and it can slip out suddenly in ways we don't expect. There are times when i've blown it and simply have outed myself. That has felt better than trying to climb out of a hole. Better yet is to catch myself before i put my foot in it like you did.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Jamie61]

Liz, I like your real world updates!

Jamie

[Cyndee]

That's a great reminder Lizzie

There really is a wisdom in realizing what not to say

Cyndi -

[tracy_j]

It would be so easy to slip up with a simple statement!

This brings up another point. For any woman I know with children, they usually know the birth weight of any of them so perhaps any of you with children (myself included) will perhaps have to memorise a few facts that men do not usually remember.

It's all in the detail!

Thanks for another interesting post Lizzie

Tracy x

[Guest LizMarie]

I always love your stories, Lizzie!

[KathrynJulia]

Good catch there Lizzie.

My ex was so obsessed with teaching autistic children that she missed both of our kids and much of their growing up. That I got to be both mom and dad with my kids, that when I speak of my kids, most people who don't know, just assume I'm a mom.

You never know how life is going to turn out. Some day Liz, you may find yourself being a mom. I loved taking care of my kids. My ex used to joke that I was a good wife to come home to. I cooked all the meals, gave the kids baths, read bedtime stories, tucked my kids in bed. My ex-wife just concentrated on her career.

Being a mom is a great life. Lizzie. You never know........ Kathy

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

This brings up another point. For any woman I know with children, they usually know the birth weight of any of them so perhaps any of you with children (myself included) will perhaps have to memorise a few facts that men do not usually remember.

Good catch! My mom remembers how much all 3 of us kids weighed at birth and how long we were.

[Guest Cyd]

Thanks for another good story, Lizzie! I might just adopt your old response for my own use....it might actually help me get appropriately gendered one of these days.

[VickySGV]

I couldn't have used that line anyway, they all looked too damn much like me when they were born, even though I was there at the time with their mother!! I did however do the single parent routine for 15 years, so Carolyn's ploy fits pretty well for me too. I have caught myself on those little speed bumps of anomaly in the gender pattern too and usually when I start getting the smell of dirty sock near my nose as my foot comes close to my mouth.

[JJ]

Started really watching what I said that way awhile back when I was talking to a guy waiting in a line at a fast service counter and said in reference to something else that I hadn't decked anyone in over 40 years except my ex. When I have said that in the past it was always followed by "And he was 6'5" and hit me first". Oops. That just wouldn't fly with this clearly redneck guy I was talking to but if I didn't say something I was going to look like a first class jerk. Actually no matter what I said I looked like a jerk to the guy after that statement. He just glared at me and walked away. Lesson learned.

I did have to retrain myself to say "When my daughter was born" instead of "When I had my daughter". There are actually a lot of those little pitfalls out there. As time goes by they become fewer but I still sometimes either sound tongue tied or really confuse people. Well at least life after transition isn't dull.

And thanks for sharing -it's good to know it happens to others too.

Johnny

[~Nova~]

I have learned to answer that question with a response with an answer like I was born without a uterus. Technically I'm not lying so it's an easy remember.

Great story Liz.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Heh. I was just talking about this with some girls last night. I said, in a few years, people will find out I have 5 kids and say, "Wow, you look great for having 5 kids.", at which point I will just have to out myself as a lesbian and say, "thanks, but my ex-wife carried the children." That ought to get some more weird looks (even though being gay is becoming more normalizing). I don't think I win either way...lol.

Nova, I like that one. I expect to explain myself (if I have to) as being no different than any other XY female who has had a hysterectomy. I already tell people I was born half male and half female (since the part between my legs was male and the part between my ears was female). Life sure is interesting.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest]

Haha, you crack me up. Wish I could think of a new quip for you. Stealing your old line, if ya don't mind! Love it XD