Viking Girl in drab mode

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Well I finally figured out how to compress a photo, see avatar. This is what I looked like on September 29th in T-shirt, and booney hat. When I go to work I add a Napa Valley Bike Tours logo over shirt to cover things a bit (boobs). I don't own make up, or anything, so please excuse my rough masculine Viking appearance. This is unfortunatley what I look like most of the time in real life. I am moving to a less expensive place in American Canyon now, so hopefully I can not only make ends meet, but also get some make-up, clothes, and work on my horribly damaged sun dried hair. Oh well, I am sure I will look much better in the future, and then I will change my avatar photo. Please be gentle with your comments, I am a bit sensitive about my looks. Thanks.

hugs,

Stephanie the Viking Girl

[Guest]

That is a wonderful picture of a beautiful woman.

Where's the viking hiding, Stephanie?

I do not see anything unfortunate about your presentation at all.

Huggs,

Joann

[VickySGV]

I would pass you off as a Norse Maiden (I have run a blank on my Dansk vocabulary just now for that word) at first glance myself, but we are all so darn hard on ourselves and unbelieving of how we do look when we start out that I understand your thoughts. You will make it.

[Carolyn Marie]

Looking good, Stephanie.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Thank you so much for your nice comments. I am at a loss for words for once (I tend to chat endlessly sometimes). I honestly do think that I have changed some since starting hormones, but it is kinda hard for me to accurately evaluate the extent. I have definitely noticed some unmistakable changes, for instance; I now have boobs! My muscular legs now look very feminine also, and were noticed favorably by a lesbian woman I met recently. Despite my extensive use of computers during my previous career, it took me quite a while to figure out how to put my picture up as my avatar. Reading comprehension was my strongpoint, not computers. However, now that this old Viking maiden has it figured, I will update the avatar whenever I start to actually look pretty enough.

big hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest ashleynikole]

Stephanie, you look great!

I know what you mean by not noticing changes and considering this is the first time all of us have seen you, the first impression is that of a woman. I personally keep seeing "him" in the mirror but every now and then I will shine through and think...WOW...I'm so pretty. It takes time but eventually you'll see yourself every day and you won't see him anymore.

Great pic!

God bless

Ashley

[Guest KerryUK]

Hi Stephanie,

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You do look lovely. I know what it's like to look in the mirror and see 'him' looking back me. But, I can say through experience - that it happens less and less. First of all, you will see a reflection of yourself and catch yourself out - wondering, 'who was that girl I just saw' and go back to look again and realise that she is YOU. Mark my words Stephanie, if you haven't already experienced it - you will.

[Guest]

Actually that look puts me in mind of Patti Clarkson in the movie "The Station Agent". Mature and home spun sexy. Hug. JodyAnn

[Ravin]

Stephanie, if that's you in DRAB, pretty sure you've hit "male fail" at this point. I think a lot of the time, the changes that HRT bring on are subtle. It can be hard to pinpoint just what they are, but at some point, even when we can't see it ourselves, random people who don't know you (and thus aren't working off of assumptions) just start getting it right more often than not.

You look good!

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Wow, thanks for all the nice comments! I really appreciate your opinions, since most of the people who see me almost everyday are indeed going to see no change. I sure don't feel like Gary anymore, only Stephanie. At work they still introduce me to tour guests as Gary (since that is what they know me as, and thus it is all they can see), but I wonder what would happen if they didn't. Outside of work, I have gotten used to being introduced as Stephanie. I really am happy (almost giggle out loud in fact) every time that happens. I am currently looking for a room to rent in Sonoma or American Canyon that is inexpensive enough so I can afford it, and yet also have a shorter commute. I am identifying myself as Stephanie of course. I am going to find out how trans friendly the renting atmosphere in the North Bay is nowadays. I am soon going to also probably find out how acceptable Stephanie is as a wine tour guide (as a Gary replacement). I should hope it wouldn't make a difference, my work presentation won't change at all, only the name. I kinda am Stephanie all the time now, but I may keep tweeking my voice (still a bit low in pitch, but otherwise not too bad). In any case, we shall see soon enough methinks.

hugs to all,

Stephanie

[Guest KerryUK]

At work they still introduce me to tour guests as Gary (since that is what they know me as, and thus it is all they can see), but I wonder what would happen if they didn't.

Well Stephanie, if they are calling you by the wrong name - then now is the time to politely request that they start to use your correct name. I know that there will be 'slip-ups' to begin with but when they happen, (again) politely correct them. After a while, they will forget your previous name and they will just know you as Stephanie. Been there, done that and yes, I have the T-shirt .

[Guest Opal]

Stephanie, you look just fine, and you have a nice, feminine smile.

Huggs,

Opal

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Thanks again. At work, they don't yet know I am trans. It is a small company, and as near as I can figure out the senior manager Rob is our HR department. I will let him know before I change my name legally. As far as the name goes, I am waiting until the off season to legally change my name and gender marker. My current roommate Jennifer says it is still too early in my transition to change identity documents anyway. She thinks my face still looks like a guy's face even though my features have softened some. On the other hand, she does say that the photo I posted is a good representation of what I look like nowadays. I know she is trying to protect me, but also she has seen me everyday for many months, and I think the changes are subtle enough that neither of us can see the total effect. As Ravin pointed out, total strangers might see me differently. Jennifer has a feminine face, but even now she sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a guy. I look at her, and I only see a pretty girl. I think we are both guilty of being too harsh in self evaluation, and in her case she might be a bit harsh in judgement of my looks as well. I am a bit too busy working, and trying to find a place to live, to change any documents right now. Waiting a few months won't hurt too bad, I need more patience that is all. I plan to dress in all female attire, including skirt, on Halloween. Seems a safe day to see if I pass or not. I will test the waters periodically after that, once I am confident that I can pass most of the time, then it will be time for document work methinks. Once I start changing documents, then I will need to "come out" at work. That is my current plan, I am playing things by ear until then, and trying to be flexible. I will follow advice when offered, thanks.

hugs,

Stephanie