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How Far 'out' Are You???

Guest Zenda

How far 'out' are you???  

76 members have voted

  1. 1. How far 'out' are you???

    • 100% 24/7
    • 80%=living most of the time in affirmed female/male mode
    • Just told some people-attending support meetings and or dressed only for therapy sessions
    • Just out on this forum

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Guest Zenda

Kia Ora,

I often read posts where posters talk about being ‘out’ but then they go on to say “but I’m still in male/female mode for certain people/appearances!"…

So the idea of this poll is to see how many of you are actually ‘out’ 24/7,ie, where ones former male/female/ personas are dead and gone-that is, you are living ‘full time’ as your affirmed gender…with or without a legal name change or surgery...

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest N. Jane

The only people who know of my childhood are a few doctors and a few close friends. For everybody else, it is none of their business!

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Because of work I'm still male most of the time - just Sally at therapy sessions, at home and here.

I am getting the ball rolling on HRt and plan on going full time within the year and just dealing with finances as they come.

Tired of a dual life - that's for Super Heros not me!

I'm tired of hiding my tights under a business suit - besides when was the last time you saw a phone booth!

Love ya,


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Lets see, I'm out to all my Dr.s except my cardiologist but only because i haven't had an appointment since starting transitioning, but he may know because my Endo sent him my blood work results. My stepfather knows and is accepting and i plan on letting my extended family know by letter this summer. My good friend knows and she is accepting too, although i think it has taken her some time for her to get her head around it. My companies HR department knows and is ok with me transitioning. i telecommute from home with very little customer contact, however i do talk to our field staff on a daily basis, from their reaction i think I'm not the first. For everyone else I'll let them figure it out if they haven't already, when i have to be him i dress very androgynous leaning toward the female side meaning woman's jeans, tennis shoes, watch, some light makeup, clear nail polish all the time, i think you get the picture, If someone finally asks i will tell them, then let the fun begin. I probably should have said 80% because mostly i live as Paula but I'm not out to everyone yet.


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Guest Zenda
The only people who know of my childhood are a few doctors and a few close friends. For everybody else, it is none of their business!

Kia Ora Jane,

:rolleyes: I'm in the same boat, for me to 'come out' means I'll be telling someone that I was born with a penis/a male...

I guess we came out of one 'closet'with ["Hey I'm transsexual!"] and then slip quietly back into another[stealth or semi stealth]... so to speak... :D

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest Naomi Stardust

i am out as transsexual to 5 friends and my father

i have not had the courage to buy anything nice since my last bout with purging

but since i've come out to my dad and his reaction was better than i anticipated

i am ready to shop! shop! shop!

.... now if only i had some $$ ....

there are still some people i want to come out to in person

but right now my idea is to start dressing in a more androgynous direction

(women's jeans loose and subtle, v neck and wider necked shirts, anklet, i already have been getting compliments on my eyebrow plucking, no body hair, maybe some foundation to even out my skin tone, growing my hair long, letting my femme mannerisms loose and adopting new ones)

and as people get used to that, move to feminine a little bit at a time

and people will notice when they notice

i am not interested in dressing completely in femme and hiding from the world (although it's tempting)

i want the world to see me for who i am

and that takes little steps at a time...

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meh i cant choose lol

id say i was 50% because i dress male every possble chance, but at work which i am at 50% of the time i have to present female, i present as andro around family/boysih, but in my own time + parties i dress me which is male

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Guest OneOutOfnOne

Not very 'out' yet - my true friends know.

Although, I did venture outside into the proximity of strangers presenting myself as female for the first time last week. Rather uneventful, that, though I was terribly nervous about it beforehand, saying to myself, 'I can't do this,' even as I pulled my skirt on. But I walked from home to my gender-confused support group meeting, and went essentially unnoticed, in the way that everyone who isn't superficially outstanding goes unnoticed in a city so large as mine. I was glad to have done this.

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Guest Little Sara

I'm 100% 24/7 full-time, and forcefully outed at work due to mismatch of name (which everyone can easily see in the system). Otherwise no one knows unless I tell them.

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Guest Elizabeth K

Well 80% is the closest - maybe more like 65%. I was asked by my boss to keep it low profile - So I dress . but not in super gender specific clothing, usually jeans and tops. My wife asked I keep it low profile in our small town (population 7000) a commuer area for New Orleans. I dress in New Orleans. But the problem I now have is I get read in male so I suppose I have moved into androgyne, interestingly. I feel its almost impossible to NOT attract attention as androgyne.

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Guest Donna Jean

Not very much, I'm afraid....

Let's see....

I'm out to my wife. two doctors, and everyone here.....

I work in a very male dominated field and I dress male for that, although I'm starting to lean away from maleness....lol

Yep...people at work are starting to look at me funny and may think me to be gay ...I have both ears pierced, but I wear in one ear one week and the next I switch to the other ear..no one seems to have noticed so far and I'm having a lot of fun with that!....LOL

I'm on hormones and my plan (yeah, good luck with that) is to stay as is for a number of months and let the hormones do their magic first...

Ah...But...it's coming...its coming...And I'll be happy to finally get there...

This living as two people is getting to be a real drag..(can I say that?)..lol

****BIGG HUGG****

Donna Jean

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Guest OneOutOfnOne
I feel its almost impossible to NOT attract attention as androgyne.

I fear this is true. I can tell when a stranger is looking me over a second time to try to 'figure me out' - I confess to having become a rather puzzling individual.

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Guest michelle.butterfly
I feel its almost impossible to NOT attract attention as androgyne.

I was practically full-time since November but it was still implicit at work. I mean I guess you could say I was androgynous but really not I wore light foundation, light makeup, girl jeans, girl glasses, girl blouses... There was nothing guy about me. At the very first I tried to tone it down a bit but well before the end (as in when I came out explicitly) I couldn't take that anymore--it actually physically hurt me to have to choose to wear something other than I would have, in order to pretend to be a guy. But I really did my best to present female regardless of the guy name.

Full time even at work, in my community, etc. (I guess you could say "out" in my community and at work, although generally I wouldn't call it that elsewhere) since January. It was nice to finally wear skirts and dresses, let me tell you what! :D Re-started HRT as of February.

Now there is still the issue of not everyone in my family has seen me and my mom has senile dementia and I haven't told her yet, but that's just because I haven't been down since Thanksgiving. I am not going to be hiding it, although I will probably keep it at jeans and a t-shirt until I break the news. Still I don't count that as not being full-time since I'm never there and I'm not going to be pretending to be anyone other than who I am regardless.

With much love,


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Guest mia 1

Well let's see I'm out to two friends, my wife, my therapist,and when I go "girl" shopping I'm putting myself in the female mode...which I truly enjoy.......................We will see how many more people I out myself to...(Is that correct grammer?)............ :P

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Guest Elizabeth K


I forgot

I am out to my ex-wife. Is that important? That adds about a thousand people to the list of who knows!

My grown kids did that! Ha (it was a surprise - but okay).


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Guest Linus Thomas

I selected 80%. I'm out with family and close friends. The rest are probably figuring it out based on the beard growth. Work (HR and my immediate boss) know and a few close colleagues but the rest either don't care, are blind or unaware.

I still have a panic over washrooms and am gradually working to a comfort point on that.

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Guest julia_d

It's not something I have thought about in years and years. I'm just me.. and anybody who has a problem with that is the one who should be looking at themselves.

I lived the double life at school.. and again while working in my 20's.. The last 10 years it hasn't crossed my mind at all. I don't see any need to tell people my business. I don't want to know theirs, so what right do they have to know mine?

Been full time probably all my life. I always felt like I was a crossdresser wearing male clothes.

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Guest Sashel Trace

Everyone I know, knows I'm trans, but I'm not actually living as a girl yet. Most friends call me by my name though which is nice ^^

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Guest Nathaniel Darling

I'm not out at all, only to everyone here and my boyfriend. He's the same.

We'd both like to be out 100% and live full time, but it's unlikely to happen anytime soon. Me because I'm scared to tell my mom, since I know she likes me as her "daughter" and has mentioned being glad she didn't have a son, and it'll probably make her cry, and James because it's likely he'll get a very negative reaction from his parents calling him "sick in the head" and try to make his therapist "fix" him, and punish him just for being himself. :( They did that when he came out as a "lesbian" and still are...bad sign.

....plus his parents hate me, and they're likely to blame me for it....

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....plus his parents hate me, and they're likely to blame me for it....

And rightly so!

Everyone knows how highly contageous Transsexuality is, that's why they are so afraid of us - one kiss and you need a whole new wardrobe, Baby! :lol:

A little twist on the old kiss a frog and make him a prince fairy tale - kiss a prince and turn him into a princess!

So that means that every time you two kiss you'll be changing genders again - male, female - female, male - male, female - oh your poor brains!

A view of transsexuality from the stupid side of the fence!

As I look around where I live, I long for the olden days when each village had only one idiot!

You will make it Nate and so will James, it just takes time and as young as you are that is one your side!

A little wit (very little) and wisdom (even less) from Sally.

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