Not physically transition?

[Guest My_Genesis]

MG, are you not able to physically transition?

Not so much I'm not able as I think I'm just way too dysphoric to ever feel comfortable even after transitioning...like just the fact that "it" isn't "perfect" will forever haunt me, so it just doesn't seem feasible for me to spend so much money on something that isn't going to make the body conformity problem any better. It's something I don't know if I'll ever be able to overcome...like I can't even picture myself in any kind of...physical relationship with bottom surgery

[Guest Zack L]

Aww, that suck man, I'm sorry. =/

To be honest I have some trouble with envisioning it too, but I can deal I think.

[Guest Little Sara]

Not so much I'm not able as I think I'm just way too dysphoric to ever feel comfortable even after transitioning...like just the fact that "it" isn't "perfect" will forever haunt me, so it just doesn't seem feasible for me to spend so much money on something that isn't going to make the body conformity problem any better. It's something I don't know if I'll ever be able to overcome...like I can't even picture myself in any kind of...physical relationship with bottom surgery

I picture my choice between going for something "not perfect", or suicide. The first choice won obviously. I decided to give transition a shot, I had nothing to lose.

[Guest Cody_T]

I picture my choice between going for something "not perfect", or suicide. The first choice won obviously. I decided to give transition a shot, I had nothing to lose.

Short, to the point, and completely right

[Guest My_Genesis]

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic by not being suicidal and instead being probably the most patient person in the world, waiting, and hoping that a more advanced surgery that I'd be okay with will come soon?

[Guest Little Sara]

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic by not being suicidal and instead being probably the most patient person in the world, waiting, and hoping that a more advanced surgery that I'd be okay with will come soon?

I meant the whole transition, including hormones. If I waited until a magical ray could change my chromosomes to XX and give me ovaries and a uterus, I'd wait a long time.

[Guest My_Genesis]

I meant the whole transition, including hormones. If I waited until a magical ray could change my chromosomes to XX and give me ovaries and a uterus, I'd wait a long time.

Yeah, I mean even after a full transition, it wouldn't feel like a full transition, I'd still be feeling the same dysphoria and physical incomplete-ness. Gee I don't know, I mean T would be great but the whole "down there" situation..

[Guest leo]

MG woodnt you feel a least a bit better if you started transitioning?

you may not be perfect in the end but surely it will be better of as you at least 90% there?

also i agree with little sara, i gottaw give it a shot you only live once, and i wona live it as a male

[Guest Sergei]

Yeah, I mean even after a full transition, it wouldn't feel like a full transition, I'd still be feeling the same dysphoria and physical incomplete-ness. Gee I don't know, I mean T would be great but the whole "down there" situation..

I think T will help you feel more comfortable with the whole "down there" situation. What I mean by that is that once you take T you may not have male parts, but you certainly won't feel you have female parts either. T completely transforms that area of your body. You'll have something that's uniquely transmale. And I have to say I actually feel quite comfortable now.

I think generally transguys need to assess what is the point of transition? Why are you doing it? If you view your transition as a purely physical exercise unfortunatly you're going to be dissapointed, because we're never going to be perfect physical biomen, no where close. The point is the mental transition you go through. Accepting and learning that you body is just a physical thing, and that nobody is 100% happy with their parts and their body shape and size. But the point is being happy with your identity transition. Because at the end of the day the most important point in transitioning is to become happy with who you are, and the way the world views and relates to you.

I still have a long way to go in my transition. But I have to say I'm happy with who I am now even though my body doesn't match my mind 100%. Because I can accept the imperfections in my body, but I couldn't accept the imperfections in my personna before.

[Guest leo]

agrees with sergi

i know that im a man mentally but i want to transition so the world can view and relate tp me that way

also its to feel comftable with who i am

[Guest RainBird]

We may not have the bodies we were supposed to be born with, but at least we can resemble who we really are the closest we can throught patience, purseverence and positivity

xo

[Guest My_Genesis]

Yeah I really just don't know...

sometimes I feel very not typically trans because so much of my focus is on physical stuff rather than just outward appearance. And that's what it's been like since I was a little kid. It's bordering on obsession I guess you can say...that most of the time rather than thinking about dressing and presenting as male, it's this burning desire to have what's underneath the clothes, and the clothes are just a cover-up

And really the only thing I can think of is that it's more than just psychological, because my guess is something physical would..well, make it more of a physical issue for me.....I don't know.

[Guest Sergei]

agrees with sergi

i know that im a man mentally but i want to transition so the world can view and relate tp me that way

also its to feel comftable with who i am

Exactly, and that's why the physical transition happens, but it's not that important if it's not perfect. As long as it's good enough so the world gets who you are. x

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Exactly, and that's why the physical transition happens, but it's not that important if it's not perfect. As long as it's good enough so the world gets who you are. x

PERFECT answer!

Lizzy

[Guest Little Sara]

Yeah I really just don't know...

sometimes I feel very not typically trans because so much of my focus is on physical stuff rather than just outward appearance. And that's what it's been like since I was a little kid. It's bordering on obsession I guess you can say...that most of the time rather than thinking about dressing and presenting as male, it's this burning desire to have what's underneath the clothes, and the clothes are just a cover-up

And really the only thing I can think of is that it's more than just psychological, because my guess is something physical would..well, make it more of a physical issue for me.....I don't know.

Its not about the clothes, its about being perceived as who you are by everyone that matters, so they can relate to you right. This *does* include the physical. But people won't go read your chromosomes (most people don't know about their own).

[Guest Zabrak]

Its not about the clothes, its about being perceived as who you are by everyone that matters, so they can relate to you right.

Yes, I like how Sara worded it.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Its not about the clothes, its about being perceived as who you are by everyone that matters, so they can relate to you right. This *does* include the physical. But people won't go read your chromosomes (most people don't know about their own).

Okay how do I put this...the physical thing is mainly just for me though

And what a perfectly titled thread to discuss this under

[Guest Zabrak]

Okay how do I put this...the physical thing is mainly just for me though

And what a perfectly titled thread to discuss this under

Lets all play nice in the playground now.

I split the topic and made a new thread so we arn't off topic.

[Guest leo]

good idea zabrak

but i guess fully or even part transitioning isnt for everyone

[Guest My_Genesis]

Lets all play nice in the playground now.

I split the topic and made a new thread so we aren't off topic.

lol yeah I was feeling weird about that, didn't mean to get everyone off on a tangent

And leo the problem is the way I see it, "fully" doesn't exist right now, and that's the only thing that will make me truly happy with myself...

[Guest Elizabeth K]

MY GOODNESS

I am MTF here but it is exactly the same thing.

Question: If I could actally be 100% a woman - or have to accept being surgically converted to as close an approximation as I can get, a T-girl?

Which would I chose? - am I a fool? 100% woman of course.

But that can't happen - so I will take what I can get. The other options are to not even go that far - or just go part way - or don't do anything

Hummmm - I don't think I can go part way.

So I will not be a perfect woman. But I will be closer than I ever thought I would. And it will cost me huge amounts of therapy and drugs and surgery to get there. But the thought of getting there helps me have a good attitude, one that helps me know I am really "already 'there' anyway" in my mind. Just the decision to transition - that idea that I am doing something - that has changed my life.

Okay - surgery works better for MTF. But hormones work better for FTM. I can see the question on bottom surgery. But as my therapist once told me, "there are no panty checks in transexuallism." As Sergi said - it is IMPORTANT to be perceived as who you are. So presentation is everything, and presentation is guided by attitude.

Therein lies an answer, I think.

Lizzy

[Guest leo]

i do know what you mean lizzy and MG

sometimes i just feel like "for f**k sake if i was born in the right body i wouldn't be going through all this trouble and s**t now" (excuse my french)

but at the end of the day we cant do nothing about what mistake was made a birth but we can try and correct it and thats what i want to do

[Guest Cody_T]

mygen, you're asking yourself the wrong question. Try this one: "Do I want to be a physically natural woman, or do I want to be a physically imperfect man?" That's the question we're all trying to deal with, not the question of whether or not we want to be physically perfect in our correct genders. That's gonna be an obvious yes. Since we can't do that, we have to make the other choice. You're going to make a decision one of these days to commit to one side or the other. So when that time comes, ask yourself which you'd rather be. And be completely honest with yourself.

I'd say I was with you for a couple of months last summer, where I was completely heartbroken over the fact that I will never be physically perfect. But what I realized is that it wasn't worth living my life in the limbo that presenting female puts me into, and that anything would be an improvement. You said you weren't suicidal... and I don't know what that means to you, but maybe the same doesn't apply to you. Maybe you'd be fine living in a female body in lieu of a perfect male one. I'm not saying that you have to be suicidal or anything, but that definitely helped me make a decision, mainly because I'd decided it was the only thing I could do about it. I'm horribly mainstream and conformative, but the way I see it is ultimately, you're going to have to pick a team, stop caring what people think of you, and do or don't do something about it. But commit to whatever decision you make. Transition isn't for everyone... but perfection, as a rule, is for no one.

[Guest leo]

well spoken dude (cody T)

i totally agree with you

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

mygen, you're asking yourself the wrong question. Try this one: "Do I want to be a physically natural woman, or do I want to be a physically imperfect man?" That's the question we're all trying to deal with, not the question of whether or not we want to be physically perfect in our correct genders. That's gonna be an obvious yes. Since we can't do that, we have to make the other choice. You're going to make a decision one of these days to commit to one side or the other. So when that time comes, ask yourself which you'd rather be. And be completely honest with yourself.

I'd say I was with you for a couple of months last summer, where I was completely heartbroken over the fact that I will never be physically perfect. But what I realized is that it wasn't worth living my life in the limbo that presenting female puts me into, and that anything would be an improvement. You said you weren't suicidal... and I don't know what that means to you, but maybe the same doesn't apply to you. Maybe you'd be fine living in a female body in lieu of a perfect male one. I'm not saying that you have to be suicidal or anything, but that definitely helped me make a decision, mainly because I'd decided it was the only thing I could do about it. I'm horribly mainstream and conformative, but the way I see it is ultimately, you're going to have to pick a team, stop caring what people think of you, and do or don't do something about it. But commit to whatever decision you make. Transition isn't for everyone... but perfection, as a rule, is for no one.

Yup, you've said it well.

In the end, I went with physically "different" man rather than average woman (because imperfect is such a strong word with a negative connotation). True to my nature, I made a list and counted pros and cons. There were more things that bothered me about being a woman, in a physical sense. As a man, the only thing that really upsets me is my lack of one piece of anatomy. I'm working on accepting that though. The interesting thing will be whether having a male body in every other way makes those feelings better or worse. I've heard transguys say that it can go either way. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes worse. Right now I am not planning on any kind of genital surgery, but I haven't completely ruled it out. Those surgeries are pretty gnarly. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk the side effects and lack of certainty that the end product will be better than what I have. The most upsetting thing to me at the moment is that I have to use a STP device. It'd be easier if my attached equipment were wired differently. Quite frankly I don't understand why nature made the hookup the way it is. Why not give us at least a micropenis?

Wanna be freaked? Check out hyenas. That's an interesting case of high testosterone being normal in genetic females. Oh...I've wandered off topic.