How did you know, and come out?

[Guest shinyd9]

How do u know if your transgender? Or how did you come to find out. I have fantasies all the time of bieng the opposite sex but I also wake up a lot and am very depressed about my self image. I feel comfortable being the male I am at times but I'm just always curious or enjoy the thought of becoming a female. I sleep in a bra and panties and wish that my body conformed to them. I was recently at buffalo wild wings with my roommates and one of our friends that was a girl came. Somebody made a joke by calling her patrick and this transgender conversation came up. It was wierd because they were asking allot of questions that I knew but I just sat there quietly. I wish I could have told them or let them know the answers they were wondering. it was just hard because they were asking questions about transition. I feel like apart of me want s to transition and I guess I was somewhat hiding that from them.

[Guest Edu]

To answer your question, another question needs to be addressed first: what does "transgender" mean?

Before tackling that, it's worth highlighting that gender (and sexuality, which often gets tangled with gender) isn't a black or white thing, but a multidimensional spectrum.

I'd recommend taking a look at the Genderbread person (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/). Then you can try to figure out where do you stand on each "slider" (no need to be exact, an approximation will do). Then try to figure out where do you want to be on those spectrums.

And here comes the (rather broad) definition of transgender: transgender is anyone whose gender (identity + expression + sex spectrums in the article) differs from the "typical" combinations, those being "everything mostly male" and "everything mostly female". There are many other terms, such as transsexual, androgyine, two-spirit, gender-fluid, and so on, each with different definitions, and most of them more specific than "transgender". But don't bother too much with labels: they may be useful communication tools under the right circumstances, but that's all to them.

The important thing is that you get a good understanding of who you are, regardless of terminology, and then pick terms to communicate when it's actually relevant. I think that cute genderbread graphic can help a lot with that.

HTH.

Hugs,

Edu

[Charlize]

Cyndi could not have said this better. This is a very personal journey for all of us and each must find our way.

Therapy helped me as did prayer. There was also a simple desire for some peace in my life. For me that came with transition while for others it may be wearing a bra and panties when possible.

You might want to read about others who ask this same question in this forum. You are not alone in your quest for knowledge or your feelings.

http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showforum=53

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Ky_Ki]

Unfortunately it's a kind of ethereal thing to know for certain. No one is going to tell you not really can they and its pretty much impossible to prove one way or the other (see the null hypothe"cis").

In the end it's entirely about how you feel which sometimes and often is very difficult to to pinpoint.

Also te different definitions can make things murky. With today's extremely broad definition of transgender the very fact that you are posting here pretty much makes you transgender. Te question you're probably trying to ask is if you are transsexual and if you should act on it or if you are "just" a cross dresser or somethjng else. That's the really difficult question and the only certain way to get to that answer seems to be transitioning and then retroactively determining if it's made you happier-which is most unhelpful.

So yeah-unfortunately it's basically up to you. Try as hard as you can to listen your emotions and try not to let logic or fear get in the way.

Best Of luck.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi shinyd9

You have already been given some very helpful advice.

These 3 links should be of some help to you.

APA Q & A about transgender People, gender IdentIty, and gender expression

http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.pdf

I Think I Might Be Transgender, Now What do I Do? (PDF)

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=731&Itemid=177http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Story?id=3088298&page=1#.Ud8yuVXD_IU

PFLAG (Be Yourself-Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth)

https://docs.google.com/a/pflag.org/file/d/0Bz_Rb69kZTYDbTl2dmhWTFc4MGc/preview

A fresh new update to one of PFLAG's most popular publications! Revised in 2014, this publication offers a supportive and understanding approach to today's most common questions and concerns from youth regarding sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. With youth coming out--and disclosing--at younger and younger ages, BE YOURSELF has never been more important. The publication also includes an up-to-date list of resources, including hotline numbers, other organizations, and more.

Again, I have to agree that you should seek a gender therapist to help you with your feelings,if it is a concern for you.

I hope that I have been of some assistance to you.

Please keep posting any questions that you may have.

Hugs,

Carla

[gennee]

To answer your question, another question needs to be addressed first: what does "transgender" mean?

Before tackling that, it's worth highlighting that gender (and sexuality, which often gets tangled with gender) isn't a black or white thing, but a multidimensional spectrum.

I'd recommend taking a look at the Genderbread person (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/). Then you can try to figure out where do you stand on each "slider" (no need to be exact, an approximation will do). Then try to figure out where do you want to be on those spectrums.

And here comes the (rather broad) definition of transgender: transgender is anyone whose gender (identity + expression + sex spectrums in the article) differs from the "typical" combinations, those being "everything mostly male" and "everything mostly female". There are many other terms, such as transsexual, androgyine, two-spirit, gender-fluid, and so on, each with different definitions, and most of them more specific than "transgender". But don't bother too much with labels: they may be useful communication tools under the right circumstances, but that's all to them.

The important thing is that you get a good understanding of who you are, regardless of terminology, and then pick terms to communicate when it's actually relevant. I think that cute genderbread graphic can help a lot with that.

HTH.

Hugs,

Edu

Edu, the gingerbread person was used when there was a Sunday School lesson about what it is to be transgender. I spoke along with a transsexual woman. We were able to answer and clear up some questions a number of people had. At the end of the lesson, a few of them shared this with me.

[Guest Edu]

Edu, the gingerbread person was used when there was a Sunday School lesson about what it is to be transgender. I spoke along with a transsexual woman. We were able to answer and clear up some questions a number of people had. At the end of the lesson, a few of them shared this with me.

It may not be perfect, but it's a really powerful tool: it manages to present in a very simple, straightforward way some of the key concepts that are most often misunderstood.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

The Gender Book

http://www.thegenderbook.com/the-book/4553374748

This book is also very helpful when educating people about Gender and Transgender.

I DID purchase the 90 page book, because I thought that it was very helpful, but you CAN download it for Free.

I hope this is helpful.

Hugs,

Carla

Edu- Congratulations on your starting HRT