Making Friends?

[Guest Amber90]

Hey Everyone,

I think this is the right section of this forum to ask such a question, but not 100% sure. If not then a point in right direction would be much appreciated (is my first time logging onto this site since August 2013, so forgive me for one's poor sense of where everything's meant to be posted).

This question is probably a shot in the dark, plus it's only really aimed at people in the UK, seeing as that's where I'm from, but it doesn't hurt to ask I guess.

Right, so I've come a heck of a long way in the past few years. I've come out to all my friends and family; managed to overcome an unpleasant narcotic addiction which I used to mask over the truth regarding my desire to transition; am in the process of beating a sever anxiety disorder via the methods of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Exposure Therapy; started living as a woman full time (with the exception of at work, where I'm still presenting as gender neutral whilst I sort out some complications with a family member who happens to also be the MD of that company); have finally built up the courage to ask my Doctor for a referral to my nearest gender clinic so I can try obtain HRT; and have spent a small fortune on getting one's facial hair zapped to oblivion via the electrolysis method. Yet despite this marvelous leap into the long overdue realm of transition, angst and loneliness are still pretty common companions in my day-to-day life.

Loneliness and anxiety is pretty common among many trans people, so I know I'm not alone when it comes to these emotions. Also, my friends have provided me with unspeakable amounts of support over the past few years; however the fact they sometimes struggle to empathize in some respects makes isolation feel all the more prevalent.

I guess the question is, does anyone know any good places (be they websites or events; particularly within the West Midlands area) where one can befriend others in nearby places?

I've been trying to reach out and befriend others going through transition for a fair while now, however despite some temporary successes, it hasn't been perfect. I made a few transgender friends in the past via forums similar to this one, however due to the fact they lived four hours away on the other side of the country meant I only saw them once or twice a year; resulting in our friendships dwindling surprisingly fast. I then decided to join a couple of dating sites; as they had algorithms which allowed me to speak with those in nearby locations. Problem for me there, however, is people just seemed out for relationships, quick meet ups etc, which really isn't something I want in my life at this point in time. I also started using Facebook in order to make friends and whatnot, but a lot of the social events I got invited to ended up just being large and loud drinking sessions which friendships never seemed to blossom from (plus my introverted nature resulted in me enduring quite a lot of evenings in nightclubs which were a tad too overwhelming for me to endure).

So, has anyone come across any websites/events where they were able to befriend other transgender people in their areas? One's that didn't focus solely around dating?

Like I say, this query is a shot in the dark. The nights out I've been on because of Facebook and the brief friendships I made with people on the other side of England were probably more beneficial to me than I remember them being (plus my timid nature may be more to blame for my failure to build proper friendships out of those encounters than I care to admit), but sometimes I think maybe I'm going about trying to befriend like-minded individuals in the wrong manner.

Just wondering really. Life is pretty darn difficult, lonely and scary at the moment. As many on here will know, it's pretty challenging navigating one's way through transition when friends/family struggle to provide support based on personal referencing.

I s'pose this is just another way of me trying to reach out to the wider world, so forgive me if I sound as though I'm asking for a miracle answer

Much love,

Amber

xxx

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

Hello, Amber...

You may find these links useful:

http://marketplace.transgenderzone.com/?page_id=114

http://www.midlandszone.co.uk/default.asp?Id=41&sC=page11

http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/New%20Mermaids/links.htm

[Guest suden]

hi Amber.

I relate to everything you said and love how you said it.

I'm looking for like minded souls with out expatations of any thing other than friendship in iowa us.

My therapist tells me that their are lots of people just like me around I just need to look closer.

I'm looking and I hope shes right!

thanks for your post- Eden

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

Here are a few resources, Eden:

http://oneiowa.org/work/transgender-iowans/

http://www.equalityiowa.org/wp/resources/

http://www.glbtcentral.com/iowa_bars.html

[tracy_j]

I can relate totally to the loneliness! It would be nice to have a close friend to shop with etc.

At first look at the links Kenna has kindly provided I see nothing in the Lincoln area though. I know there is a little local activity but have not pursued. I am in two minds, as in practice I feel more like I relate more to cis women than the trans people I have seen around. There is a link to a facebook group based in Norfolk. That is a possibility for me as it's not too far away (and a beautiful part of the country with generally very friendly people).

Good luck Amber

Tracy x