Trans Vs. Gay?

[Guest Stuv]

I just didn't want to step on any toes No hard feelings!

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I have very little interaction with the GLB part of GLBT, so I can't say much. I work with a gay guy who couldn't care less that two of his coworkers are FTM. On the other hand, one of my feminist, straight-identified (even though I dated her when I still ID'd as female) friends has basically said that transguys are traitors. She thinks that it is a real insult that transguys want to leave "the team". She thinks that women are awesome and can do anything men can do, so there is no point in transitioning. I have been unsuccessful in explaining the flaws in her reasoning.

I don't know if there is a gay, male analogue of this.

[Guest Little Sara]

Yes, I'm pretty sure that most admirers were gay, but again here can be a discussion as what you'd define as man-on-man action... The bottom line they weren't into biofemales and what they have. A lot of girls there seemed to have penis and not hide this fact... In general, that place is referred as queer by people who go there I think.

Being only interested in pre-op trans doesn't make you gay, since you're not interested in cissexual guys either. They would be gay if they were attracted to men. Being attracted to pre-op trans-women could be considered a fetish, but not a sexual orientation because of the transness or the presence of a penis.

A little biology lesson:

The penis and clitoris are the same organ, developed differently. One develops internally, the other externally. The glans penis and glans clitoris and their respective hoods are exactly the same thing, just not positioned the same. Viewed this way some people may have no issue with it.

Personally I have no issue with someone else touching it (provided I consent to that), but I won't touch my own as its not something I like (its a turn-off to touch it, mostly psychological I guess). I obviously won't (and can't) use it for penetration.

The only issue I'd have with someone attracted to my transness is their position on me getting the surgery eventually, and the support and help about reaching that they would be willing to provide.

[Guest Sarah Marie]

I voted what I am - tgal/asexual, and I am somewhat surprised that mine is the only vote in this category.

Some of the animosity between the gay and trans communities apparently got started at the Stonewall Riots in New York years ago. Ever since, I have gotten a sense that much of this animosity arises out of fear. In the early years, in particular, there probably was a legitimate concern in the gay community that if the trans community shoehorned in on their attempts at gaining civil rights protections their effort would be diluted, and fail. So, in the spirit of "us" vs "them", the gay community became the "us." This cast the trans community in the "them" category.

Last year, during the Congressional debate over the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), this mindset actually did surface. The feeling in Congress was that employment discrimination could only be expanded in segments: sexual orinetation now, gender identity in a few years.

Last winter (while I was still using Yahoo all the time), I signed on with a Yahoo GLBT community group here in Idaho. Four months later I dropped out in disgust because I never was even informally welcomed to the group. So I continue to exist as a completely solo MtF with no local trans community contacts.

[Guest Conrí]

Okay, so I picked other...my gender wasn't represented in the poll

Anyways, I'm neutrois (androgynous) and asexual. As for my experiences with the rest of the GLB (and anyone in general really) I've actually gotten more flack for being asexual than I have for my gender. Granted, it might take them a little to understand my gender cause not many people have even heard of nonbinary genders; but they seem to be able to grasp it better than my sexual orientation. Most of the people I hang out with are GLB or allies, but I don't like hanging out at gay places (like gay clubs, pride, etc) because I end up getting lumped into the GLB - in my experience they don't see trans unless someone points it out to them or corrects them.

[Guest Leigh]

Okay, so I picked other...my gender wasn't represented in the poll

Anyways, I'm neutrois (androgynous) and asexual.

sorry...didn't mean to leave anyone out...but i figured it would just go on infinitely.

it also helped me to notice my own kind of "bias" like how i've been treated by members of the gay community.

i'm really very ignorant of androgynous identified kids... and maybe it's as hard for me to understand that as it is for some people to understand me.

not that i think its wrong, i don't. i just really can't understand how someone could feel neither gender.

i mean. i'm a man. i'm not always manly, i like lots of "feminine" things. but i know that i am a man. i'll never cut my hair short, and i like to wear flower prints (i know...i know...). but i still have a definite sense of my gender.

i guess i have something to do some reading up on now.

thanks for your input into my poll.

love&peace

-A.