partner accepting but not

[Guest AshlynnM]

hello everyone.

i am new to these forums and i am facing difficult times. i am a MtF who has not had it easy since early childhood. i was adopted at a young age and even back then my family could tell i was not who i was born as. by the time i was a freshman in high school the state had to intervein and remove me from the house. so with what all i went thrui have been very closed off and hiding everything about myself. i am 30 now and for the past few years i have slowly been opening up to a few friends and all have been accepting and non judgemental. now to the topic of this post... a few months ago i opened up to my girl friend who i have been in a relationship with for a year now and at first she was rejecting about it then she said she was accepting and not judging me. and now she wants nothing to do with it. claims she still loves me and wants to be with me but she doesnt want to hear or know any part of me being TG. i dont know what to do. i am very confused. she says she doesnt want to feel like she is with a woman but for me i am only happy with myself when i am able to express that side of me, i dont feel like i need to be on my anti depressants. it probably would have been easier for me to just keep hiding if it wasnt for events that taken place in the last month and a half that has me staying with a good friend of mine who encourages me to be myself and so that is what i have been doing and i want to follow thru with what makes me happy. i am very happy being with her and i dont want to lose her but this being confused on what to do has encouraged a good few arguments lately. please i need advice. thank you

[Charlize]

Welcome Ashynn, I'm glad you have come to Laura's. You'll soon find you are not alone with your feelings and concerns. Many of us have problems with our relationships and each situation resolves itself in different ways.

Perhaps the best advice i can give is to read and post here as you have started to do. Then talk to your doctor. Mine was a helpful ally. My gender therapist was very helpful as well at dealing with loved ones as well as being a source of information on local resources. She also wrote the letters that helped to start HRT. Perhaps most importantly both she and the folks at Laura's helped me to accept myself.

We do ask all new members to read the terms and conditions found at the bottom of any page,

Hugs,

Charlize

[Drea]

If there is no middle ground that works for both of you don't force something that isn't going to work.

[Guest Lara-Saphire]

Hi and welcome to Laura's, Ashley

I wouldn't profess to be able to give direct advice, I can say that reading through the post's of others here at Laura's has helped me

find my own answers to issues I've been trying to sort threw. It's a wonderful resource of experience to draw from. I have a very feminine side and have cross dressed my entire life and found Laura's just a couple of months ago. The people here are very supportive and I feel safe to be myself, No judgements just acceptance. I was fortunate that my wife of 27 yrs took my coming out very well , but we did have some struggles when I first told her 6 months ago. It's a tough road to navigate through the emotions and trues that need to be told, and I hope you find the answers you seek.

Thanks for sharing Hugs

[Guest honeynocturnal]

That sounds really tough, Ashlynn. You have my sympathy!

I went through a somewhat different scenario when I came out as bisexual to my long-time (now ex) girlfiend. She made out like she was fine with it but then as time wore on her disdain of my sexuality became painfully obvious.

I never dared bring up crossdressing with her because her reaction to my initial revelation turned out so negative.

That was one of the major reasons why we were just not right for each other.

Your girlfriend might benefit from some education and/or counseling, if she is openminded enough to accept the knowledge.