A little thing that made all the difference

[Guest Kayla Grace]

As most of you know, I'm a fan of the gym regardless of whether it's weights or Hiit. But today I finally managed to swallow my fear and go as Kayla instead of "him". I think I stood in the staff changeroom for about 10 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror and taking deep breaths. I spent even longer in the car. "Kayla, it's either swallow your fear and go in there as you, or go as "him" and suffer the dysphoria."

...

I got stared at. A lot. lol. Whether it was because I wasn't passing, what I was wearing, or because "ooh! girl with boobies is doing lunges!" , I did it! I don't even care. I'm being me, and the hell with those that don't like it.

How did it feel? Normal. I obviously seen other women there with more profound rears then I, but that's normal for me. What wasn't present, was the constant prick at my side that they're a girl and I'm not that ALWAYS comes when "he" pulls weights. I didn't get dysphoric around the females.

Just a little update

God Bless, Loves

Kayla <3

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm glad you got your courage going and did what felt right for you, Kayla. You have my admiration. I hope things continue to go well for you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[tracy_j]

I have never been to a gym and am unlikely to start unless I meet new friends who go, but I did make me think about my bicycle which I have not ridden for a few years now. It is at the back of the shed and surrounded by tools, compost and other items so not easy to get at!

Would I dare to go out as Tracy on it and what would be the reaction?

Good show Kayla - you have me thinking

Tracy x

[Guest Charlotte J.]

Wait just a minute. That's not "a little thing". What you did today is monumental. It took courage, self-confidence, and I imagine more than a dash of "I don't give a DANG!"

Be proud. I'm proud of you and impressed.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I spent even longer in the car. "Kayla, it's either swallow your fear and go in there as you, or go as "him" and suffer the dysphoria."

That's pretty much how I dealt with most of my outings and the first year full-time, except I didn't allow myself an 'out', so to speak. I had to do it as Liz, no matter what. So you're on the right track, I'd say.

[Charlize]

Each time you swallow that fear it will get easier. It may not go perfectly but you'll be able to accept that as well. Congratulations. Now you can stay fit as yourself. What could be better than that?

Hugs,

Charlize

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Groovy Kayla!,

Far Out, that was a huge, and important thing to do. Getting some exercise as yourself is oh so satisfying. I do it all the time. Today I led a small tour of four folks to two wineries on our Oakville loop which is only twelve miles, but then again this was just a morning tour. Tomorrow I have a full day tour of eighteen miles., three wineries, and lunch at the second winery. My job gives me two things to do that I find extremely pleasant, talking about wine, and riding a girls bike.

hugs,

Stephanie