Dilemma when legally changing Name and Gender Marker

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Well here's my dilemma:

Like a lot of us here I want to legally change my name, and gender marker to my preferred name and marker.

I live in Texas, a state that is not progressive nor sympathetic when it comes to equal rights for LGBT people.

My worries are that if I make these changes especially the gender marker do I lose my rights as a spouse since they only recognize that B.S. of marriage is one man, to one woman! I now would a female married to another female, ?

They don't recognize same sex marriages, even though I am currently legally married to my spouse for the last 44 years. (and have no intentions of divorce!)

Does this become null and void with a name and gender change??

Good ole Texas.........

My fear is do we forfeit all rights as a married couple?

If myself or my wife has to be hospitalized am I no longer considered immediate next of kin....no rights to say good-bye etc.?

We have an IRA in her name, but in Texas as a lot of states that is community property, not anymore if they no longer recognize out marriage (I'm no longer the guy on that marriage certificate.

Catch my drift.......

Since this is a very Red state, and it is not likely to change any time soon, plus I'm sure they will fight, and disregard any Supreme Court ruling not in their favor regarding same sex unions.

Every Republican, T-Party politician in this state is anti-LGBT rights (it is there platform!). So I worry that my wish to be legally classified as female and my name changed would be just a dream that I shouldn't pursue.

Any legal scholars out there who can comment?

[Carolyn Marie]

Lesley Anne, here is one bit of information about the legal situation in Texas:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Texas#Sex_reassignment

What that means, exactly, I'm not sure. My advice is to seek an opinion from an LGBT center or an attorney specializing in LGBT legal issues.

I wish you luck.

Carolyn Marie

[Drea]

The problem is a bad as you want to imagine it or as trivial as you allow it to be.

Generally speaking there hasn't been anything I am aware of that automatically revokes an existing marriage but that doesn't mean it can't be challenged.

I've seen trans peeps angst over the exact thing "this is going to make my marriage a gay marriage and it will be illegeal blah blah blah". In 40 years how many instances has an existing marriage been invalidated because it turned into a gay marriage when one partner has changed sex? I don't know, but I can attest that I don't know of any personally and I know quite a few couples who, after the one transitioned they continued to file their taxes as any married couple.

Correction, there is one case, it was related to survivors benefits of social security but again that might have been a marriage that occurred post-transition for the trans person involved. Social security lost that case.

A caution tho for any trans person who is married be it prior to transition, post transition, gay marriage or male/female marriage, Texas, gay marriage laws, etc....

A lawyer I once new always referred "wiggle room". That was his technical term for the space one has to argue a case.

When a trans person is in a marriage there tends to be lots more wiggle room than the typical marriage.

The real issue for trans people hasn't been the government coming along and saying "your marriage is no longer valid" (although I can see the IRS doing that if it means they can get more money from you). The big threat is from independent parties that wish to try to dispute the marriage.

For example, one's spouse dies, families have been known to challenge in court the surviving trans person's right to inherit their spouses property. Arguments include saying the spouse didn't know the person was trans, the spouse was going to file a divorce, the spouse was really a man not a woman so it wasn't a valid marriage, etc.

In one big case, in Texas, I believe the Littleton case, the surviving trans spouse who had filed and won a malpractice lawsuit over the death of her husband ended up having her marriage challenged by the Doctor's (well insurance company) lawyers saying it was an invalid marriage and therefore the spouse had no standing to have filed the malpractice lawsuit. She lost in the state supreme court with the court ruling that she was really a man because of her genetics.

That ruling should help your case as far as your marriage goes.

But that is the sort of stuff where wiggle room exists. One can easily see it get argued the other way too.

So it behooves any trans person to establish documents that provide for inheritance, medical power of attorney, and other things a spouse would typically be expected to have just in case a challenge to the marriage gets levied.

In a perfect world it shouldn't be the case, but it is reality no matter what state one lives in.

In Texas I think your first hurdle would be getting gender marker changed.

[Charlize]

I was worried about making that change prior the the last Supreme Court opinion. I am fortunate because NJ recognizes same sex marriage and mine is now legal regardless. Perhaps you might want to wait a bit until the new opinion comes out. Texas should be covered by that ruling as well.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Ladyinker]

If the Supreme Court rules that same sex marriage is legal under the Constitution of the United States, then Texas will have tofall in line with the rest of the country. Right now in Idaho same sex marriage is legal. However, if the Supreme Court leaves this up to the states to decide, same sex marriage will be made illegal that same day in Idaho.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

I know I should't be thinking this way, but at my age it is a reality..........

If my wife were to be laying in a hospital bed seriously ill, and I were told that I was not allowed back there to see her because I was not recognized as being her legal spouse..........well all I can say is whoever tells me that does not want to be between me and her!!

I can live with not being entitled to the IRA under her name, or any other material thing, but don't ever tell me I can't be by her side!!

I'd be on the nightly News!

[Carolyn Marie]

Lesley Anne, in that scenario, even if the hospital staff were jerks, all you would need to do is show them your marriage certificate and your name change doc. Since, as Drea noted, the state isn't going to annul your marriage, you are still legally married, different name or not. I wouldn't fret over it.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest LizMarie]

My marriage was not automatically revoked and is still current (though we still plan to divorce).

I have heard of marriages actively being annulled by certain judges when certain legal issues came before them but that seems to be rare and most judges respect that an existing marriage remains valid. Part of the problem is some of the law in Texas is vaguely worded and subject to wide latitude in interpretation. This is why I went with Phyllis Frye, a transgender woman and lawyer in Houston who handles these sorts of cases. She can't guarantee anything, of course, given the oddities of legalities in Texas, but she knows the judges who rule our direction and to the best of my knowledge, she has never failed to get a name and gender marker change enacted via court order.

She will require you to sign a non-disclosure, in which you agree to never reveal which judge did your court order, except to those people to whom you must of course show the court order for legal purposes. (She's protecting those judges from tea party backlash.)