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By Mirrabooka · Posted
Happiness for me comes from being cognizant of the things that make me feel good. Sunshine. Pandering to my inner woman. Knowing that some people in my life really 'know' me. Vacations, and Eggs Benedict at an alfresco cafe. My wife and I being telepathic. Grandchildren. Music. Wine! -
By Ivy · Posted
True. Every trans death is not a hate crime. There is so much hate expressed by some people, that we kinda get to expect it. -
By KymmieL · Posted
happiness to me is being ME. At all times, and it has yet to happen. -
By Vidanjali · Posted
Hello & welcome, giz! Your post makes me remember how excited I was to join here too. I also had queer friends at the time I joined, but any of my trans friends lived a long distance away. So most local queer friends are gay & I felt uncomfortable coming out to them bc I couldn't assume they'd understand genderqueerness. So it was a thrill to join here and immediately have access to do many wonderful, genuine, kind & thoughtful friends-to-be. Are you saying you're concerned that if you come out to your queer friends that somehow your parents will find out? My love, I just want to affirm that that's not a weird dysphoria. It's just dysphoria. And we definitely get it. You're in good company here! Look forward to seeing you around here & getting to know you. I shoot for androgynous appearance as well, leaning towards masculine. Hope you're having a splendid day! -
By Heather Shay · Posted
Listening to a YouTube mix for me and this song came up and I immediately fell in love again and just want to play music with like minded musicians playing OUR music and feel the joy and fulfillment even if no one else gets it. I love to fall into the music.... -
By April Marie · Posted
Welcome to the forums, giz! We’re so happy you found us. You’ll find lots of information and many wonderful people here. Each of us is unique but we all share similarities as well. Look around, ask questions and join in where you feel comfortable! -
By Heather Shay · Posted
NPR tiny desk winner 2024 - REALLY ENJOYED - simple song with wonderful melody, retro sound, reminds me of Billy Preston.... -
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By Birdie · Posted
Funny..... The day-centre transportation director told me yesterday morning that I was to receive an award, my picture on the website, etc... for having won the billiards tournament (I knew better). Later that afternoon he returns to "shake my hand" and tell me, "thanks for participating." I could have told him that was all I would receive earlier. I'm not well liked by management. -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
The Power of Feeling our Feelings: a story of joy and pain https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1683051267452-AAZVC5ZJZ5E2XRBOOPRE/unsplash-image-rOKbmUbcOVg.jpg Does “joy” feel like a distant memory or an intangible experience for you? Are you on the journey of seeking more joy in your life? Maybe you’ve found this blog, as in your healing journey, “more joy” is the beacon that gets you through the tough times, and you are fearlessly on the quest to learn more about trauma, anxiety and depression and how to support a more joyous life. If that sounds like you, then welcome, this post is for you, and if that doesn’t feel like you that’s okay too, I invite you to stay for a story. Let me tell you a story about a woman named Ellie who came to therapy with the goal of “wanting to feel more joy + lightness in her life”. She sat on the couch across from me…she was so eternally wise, and self-aware. She had worked so hard to get to this place of understanding herself, but she still felt stuck and nowhere closer to her joyful, fulfilled life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684948947151-PH97YWGUXYF7JJT25K1I/image-asset.jpeg She came back session after session, explaining her struggles and breaking down the gritty details of who she was, until one day I said, I paused her again in attempts to help her connect more with her emotional experience, For the first time in her therapy experience, Ellie was still, she took a moment to check inside and find her sadness…she was really being with her emotional experience. Sometimes as humans we can be aware of feelings, but struggle to FEEL the feelings, tuning in to our emotions and letting them take up space. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684949533886-EOI9VPKBEQ2EZHERTYT1/image-asset.jpeg All of a sudden she felt her throat getting tighter, her heart sinking, and tears welling up in her eyes. She said, as she began to cry, “ yeah I feel so sad because…” I so ever gently interrupted her again “hey Ellie it’s okay, can we just let the sadness be there, it's SO important why, and also its SO important to just feel, so just feel sad my dear”. Ellie, hearing this, felt her shoulders drop and soften in surrender, and spent the next minute or so letting her tears flow, crying, and being guided by me, to find support in her own breath and the pillows and blankets on the couch. This somatic release, was exactly what she needed. She cried, while I held space, providing compassionate support and company, until Ellie felt a huge sense of relief wash over her body and exclaimed “woah that felt so cathartic, I feel lighter”. I cracked a very stereotypical nerdy therapist joke and Ellie let out a HUGE chuckle, beginning to laugh deep into her belly, and that feeling of lightness transformed into a moment of JOY! Could it be? Ellie settled into a feeling of calm after her chuckle with me and asked, “What just happened? For a moment there I felt so light and wow, I really laughed. Is that joy? How is that possible?” I then began to share a bit of on emotions…."Let me explain the connection between our pain and joy. They might be more connected than you think!” Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment, and they can motivate us to take action or change our behavior. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950220510-2BYGYE4A5XKZODNS2I0Y/image-asset.jpeg However, it is common for people to try to avoid or suppress emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear. They may try to explain it away, finding logical and “cognitive” ways to cope with the pain…. While this may seem like a reasonable strategy to avoid discomfort, it can actually have negative consequences, including a reduced ability to feel positive emotions. Our emotions are interconnected and interdependent, they are all processed in the same areas of the brain. The neural pathways that process pain are called the nociceptive pathways. The nociceptive pathways send signals to the brain's pain center, the somatosensory cortex, which processes the sensory information and generates the experience of pain. However, the same neural pathways that process pain can also process pleasure and joy. This is because the somatosensory cortex does not just process sensory information related to pain; it also processes sensory information related to other physical sensations, such as touch, temperature, and pressure. When we experience pleasure and joy, these sensory signals are processed in the same way as pain signals. However, instead of activating the pain center, they activate the brain's pleasure center. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950865903-TQRJXIIXD3SHELV065QA/image-asset.jpeg This means that the same sensory channels in the brain can be activated by both pain and pleasure, but the experience we have depends on which part of the brain is activated. When the pain center is activated, we experience pain, and when the pleasure center is activated, we experience pleasure and joy. Pain and joy are actually closely related to each other, cousins if you will! In other words, our emotional experiences are not isolated events, but rather a complex and dynamic system of interrelated experiences. When we try to avoid or suppress our perceived negative emotions, we are essentially shutting down a part of our emotional experience. This can create a "numbing" effect, where we feel less overall emotion, both positive and negative. This is because the brain processes emotions as a whole, so if we try to suppress painful or uncomfortable emotions, it can also reduce the intensity and richness of positive emotions. Research has shown that people who struggle to identify or express their emotions, particularly painful ones, often experience lower levels of overall emotional experience, including positive emotions. This is because our ability to experience positive emotions is dependent on our ability to process and regulate negative emotions. By suppressing negative emotions, we may be hindering our ability to fully experience positive emotions. _____________________________ So, to wrap up this short story with a nice bow… Ellie was able to FEEL into her sadness, thus allowing her to FEEL into the depths of her own experience of joy. She was activating “stuck” pain and moving through the experience, using those key areas of the brain, so her JOY was fully expressed as well. This is why….I extend an invitation for you to FEEL it all my dear, the heavy and awful, the light, and all the emotions in between. These different parts of us, make up who we are. If it feels too scary at first that's okay, maybe find a trusted friend or a therapist that can help support you in feeling safe to express your emotions slowly, bit by bit, over time. And If you are ready to lean into those heavier feelings, let them out, because the pain that you may be avoiding feeling, just might be the very thing you need to feel, to then welcome and unlock the feeling of JOY. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950934538-PW47TOU8LXR9AINGG53F/unsplash-image-ktPKyUs3Qjs.jpg At Integrative Psychotherapy we help clients engage in therapy so they can feel more comfortable in their skin and befriend alllll their emotions. -
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