Just Like A Woman!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Ray & Bubba

( Arkansas Electrical & Mechanical Engineers)

were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba,

but we don't have a ladder.'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,

and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her

pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,'

and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman!

We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'

Hey, Lizzy! Sound familiar????? LOL....

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

[Sally]

I was going to ask what a woman was doing walking around with a wrench and a 25' tape in her purse, but then you had mentioned that it was in Arkansas!

I had a college friend from Arkansas, he called it the Hover State because it sucked!

He also said driving home to Little Rock used a lot less gas than leaving - you weren't fighting the suction!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Three men were thrown out the back of a bar. When they woke up they noticed the garbage can had been tumpted over and an aladdin lamp was on the groud. NAWWWW they thought but they rubbed it anyway and a genie appeared - humm three guys, either one gets three wishes or there can be one wish each. The first guy, said I wanna feel like a milliam dollars! Poof - he was all green and wrinkly and sitting in a vault! The second guy said I wanna be a stud! Poof - he was in a snow tire in Colorado. The third guy said I want to be a hundred times smarter - poof, the genie turned him into a woman.

Arkansas is home to two huge Fortune 500 Firms - Tyson Chicken and Walmart.

Lizzy

[Guest mia 1]

Here is a URL that reminds of the workplace and your life at the "office' Donna JEan enjoy............. http://www.injokes.com/view.php?ItemID=537 and thanks for the laugh

[Sally]

Arkansas is home to two huge Fortune 500 Firms - Tyson Chicken and Walmart.

Arkansas is also the home of the only Diamond mine where you can walk around and pick up as many as you can find for the entrance fee alone - It's a State Park.

A group of older ladies were driving along and the woman in the passenger seat suddenly shouted, "Emily, you ran a red light!"

There was no response and in a few minutes as the car hurtled through another red light, the passenger, shouted again, "Emily, didn't you see that red light?"

After the third crossing against the lights, the passenger shouted, "Emily, why aren't you stopping for the read lights?"

The response from the lady holding the steering wheel, "Oh, am I driving?"

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jackson]

Oh, ladies, I've not laughed so hard in a long time.

[Guest mia 1]

Three old ladies were sitting in a coffee shop and the first lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember the names of all my grandchidren

The second lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember where I left my car keys.

The third lady said my memory is perfect then she knocks on wood and says "Whose there?"

[Guest Zabrak]

Three old ladies were sitting in a coffee shop and the first lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember the names of all my grandchidren

The second lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember where I left my car keys.

The third lady said my memory is perfect then she knocks on wood and says "Whose there?"

LOL

[Guest Donna Jean]

I was going to ask what a woman was doing walking around with a wrench and a 25' tape in her purse, but then you had mentioned that it was in Arkansas!

I had a college friend from Arkansas, he called it the Hover State because it sucked!

He also said driving home to Little Rock used a lot less gas than leaving - you weren't fighting the suction!

Love ya,

Sally

What are you talking about, Sally???

Don't you know that Arkansas is the cultural center of the universe?

LOL....

Donna Jean

[Guest mia 1]

Check this one out for a good laugh http://www.jokes.com/funny/police-business/lucky-driver funny yeah?

[Guest Sarah Marie]

A man went to his doctor and asked him "Hey Doc, if I gie up wine women and song, will I live longer?"

The doc looked thoughtful for a bit, then shook his head.

"No, you won't live longer, but it will sure feel longer."

[Guest viv]

Oh I know this reply is so late Donne Jean , but I gotta ,,,,,in tears laughing,

best Ive heard in ages , oh geeze cant stop. viv

[Guest Steph70]

One of my favorite jokes-Stephanie

An old man is sitting on his front porch at 6:00 am watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back, "A roll of chicken wire." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says "Catch some chickens." Old man yells "You Gosh darned fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says back "Catch me some ducks." Old man yells back, "You Gosh darned fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy says "It's a vagina willow." Old man says "Hold on, I'll get my hat."

[Guest miss kindheart]

That was a good one

Thanks I need that

vanna

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

funny one i heard while back.

A lawyer sleeps with his assistant,

The next day his assitant comes to him and tells him shes pregnant.

He tells her heres a ticket to italy, go there, Ill pay for the house and take care of you and the baby. just dont tell my wife.

she asks how will she tell him?

He says just send a post card with something on that only he would understand.

10months pass, and he comes home and asks his wife how her day was.

She replys "it was great, except you got the most pecular post card in th mail today."

it read

"Spageti Spageti Spageti, two with meatballs, 1 without!"

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Q: How many MTF's does it take to change a tire?

A: Two: one to call AAA and one to whine about the grease on her skirt.

Dee Jay (the whiner)

[Guest Emily Ray]

A man was walking on the beach enjoying the sun setting on the horizon.

Then thinking of how beautiful the sunsets must be in Hawaii he said a little prayer

"Lord, you know I am afraid of flying. Could You build a bridge to Hawaii so that I could drive there and see the wondeful beaches and sunsets?"

The Lord responded "You know that I could build a bridge to Hawaii, but I would rather give you something more meaningful. Think about something and ask me again."

So the man continued his walk and thought and thought about something meaningful he could ask for.

Then he had it and prayed again "Lord, could you explain to me why women are so complicated! Why do they suddenly start crying in the afternoon for no apparent reason; what is the right answere to the 'does this make me look fat' question?"

Then with a somewhat somber tone the Lord responded "would you like two lanes or four?"

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

LOL........

Em...that's funny!

Dee Jay

[Guest therisa]

Thank you, Emily. I needed that joke after another stressful counselling session.

hugs,

therisa