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Just Like A Woman!


Guest Donna Jean

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Guest Donna Jean

Ray & Bubba

( Arkansas Electrical & Mechanical Engineers)

were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba,

but we don't have a ladder.'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,

and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her

pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,'

and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman!

We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'

Hey, Lizzy! Sound familiar????? LOL....

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

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I was going to ask what a woman was doing walking around with a wrench and a 25' tape in her purse, but then you had mentioned that it was in Arkansas!

I had a college friend from Arkansas, he called it the Hover State because it sucked!

He also said driving home to Little Rock used a lot less gas than leaving - you weren't fighting the suction!

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Elizabeth K

Three men were thrown out the back of a bar. When they woke up they noticed the garbage can had been tumpted over and an aladdin lamp was on the groud. NAWWWW they thought but they rubbed it anyway and a genie appeared - humm three guys, either one gets three wishes or there can be one wish each. The first guy, said I wanna feel like a milliam dollars! Poof - he was all green and wrinkly and sitting in a vault! The second guy said I wanna be a stud! Poof - he was in a snow tire in Colorado. The third guy said I want to be a hundred times smarter - poof, the genie turned him into a woman.

Arkansas is home to two huge Fortune 500 Firms - Tyson Chicken and Walmart.

Lizzy

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Arkansas is home to two huge Fortune 500 Firms - Tyson Chicken and Walmart.

Arkansas is also the home of the only Diamond mine where you can walk around and pick up as many as you can find for the entrance fee alone - It's a State Park.

A group of older ladies were driving along and the woman in the passenger seat suddenly shouted, "Emily, you ran a red light!"

There was no response and in a few minutes as the car hurtled through another red light, the passenger, shouted again, "Emily, didn't you see that red light?"

After the third crossing against the lights, the passenger shouted, "Emily, why aren't you stopping for the read lights?"

The response from the lady holding the steering wheel, "Oh, am I driving?"

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest mia 1

Three old ladies were sitting in a coffee shop and the first lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember the names of all my grandchidren

The second lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember where I left my car keys.

The third lady said my memory is perfect then she knocks on wood and says "Whose there?" :D

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Guest Zabrak
Three old ladies were sitting in a coffee shop and the first lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember the names of all my grandchidren

The second lady said my memory is starting to go I can't remember where I left my car keys.

The third lady said my memory is perfect then she knocks on wood and says "Whose there?" :D

LOL

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Guest Donna Jean
I was going to ask what a woman was doing walking around with a wrench and a 25' tape in her purse, but then you had mentioned that it was in Arkansas!

I had a college friend from Arkansas, he called it the Hover State because it sucked!

He also said driving home to Little Rock used a lot less gas than leaving - you weren't fighting the suction!

Love ya,

Sally

What are you talking about, Sally???

Don't you know that Arkansas is the cultural center of the universe?

LOL....

Donna Jean

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Guest Sarah Marie

A man went to his doctor and asked him "Hey Doc, if I gie up wine women and song, will I live longer?"

The doc looked thoughtful for a bit, then shook his head.

"No, you won't live longer, but it will sure feel longer."

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  • 8 months later...
Guest Steph70

One of my favorite jokes-Stephanie

An old man is sitting on his front porch at 6:00 am watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back, "A roll of chicken wire." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says "Catch some chickens." Old man yells "You Gosh darned fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says back "Catch me some ducks." Old man yells back, "You Gosh darned fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy says "It's a vagina willow." Old man says "Hold on, I'll get my hat."

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  • 7 months later...
  • 1 month later...
Guest Cynthia Of Creation

funny one i heard while back.

A lawyer sleeps with his assistant,

The next day his assitant comes to him and tells him shes pregnant.

He tells her heres a ticket to italy, go there, Ill pay for the house and take care of you and the baby. just dont tell my wife.

she asks how will she tell him?

He says just send a post card with something on that only he would understand.

10months pass, and he comes home and asks his wife how her day was.

She replys "it was great, except you got the most pecular post card in th mail today."

it read

"Spageti Spageti Spageti, two with meatballs, 1 without!"

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Guest Donna Jean

.

Q: How many MTF's does it take to change a tire?

A: Two: one to call AAA and one to whine about the grease on her skirt.

Dee Jay (the whiner)

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Guest Emily Ray

A man was walking on the beach enjoying the sun setting on the horizon.

Then thinking of how beautiful the sunsets must be in Hawaii he said a little prayer

"Lord, you know I am afraid of flying. Could You build a bridge to Hawaii so that I could drive there and see the wondeful beaches and sunsets?"

The Lord responded "You know that I could build a bridge to Hawaii, but I would rather give you something more meaningful. Think about something and ask me again."

So the man continued his walk and thought and thought about something meaningful he could ask for.

Then he had it and prayed again "Lord, could you explain to me why women are so complicated! Why do they suddenly start crying in the afternoon for no apparent reason; what is the right answere to the 'does this make me look fat' question?"

Then with a somewhat somber tone the Lord responded "would you like two lanes or four?"

Huggs

Emily

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    • Sally Stone
      Post 12   “First Kiss”   It was October 29th, 2003.  My dear friend Willa had purchased tickets for the two of us to attend “Red Hot Halloween,” a public Halloween party held at the Sanctuary in downtown Pittsburgh.  The event was a fund raiser benefitting the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.  It was a great cause but it was also the perfect opportunity to let the adventurous side of my feminine persona have a little fun.    My first question to Willa was: “What should I wear?”    “Are you kidding?” She responded.  “This is your opportunity to be the Sally of your dreams.  I suggest you dress to impress.”   My first thought was to dress naughty.  It was Halloween, so it could be the perfect venue for something with an erotic edge to it.  I thought about going as a dominatrix or a naughty French maid.  After we talked about it, and weighed the pros and cons, Willa and I decided against naughty, and instead, chose to wear the fanciest evening gowns we could find.  Willa bought an expensive, silver sequined gown, and matching high-heels just for the event.  Me, on the other hand, I couldn’t justify spending big bucks on an evening gown for a single event, so I took a less expensive route.  It is amazing what you can find on the sale racks at big department stores when you look hard enough.  For a mere 30-dollars, I found a black, sleeveless column gown with matching bolero jacket.  The dress had a slit up the right leg, and it went all the way to my upper thigh, very sexy.  Being a column dress, it was form-fitting, and hugged my curves like a glove.  To complement my dress, I wore black patent high-heel pumps, a long blonde wig, and a set of long red fingernails.  As I recall, it took me three-hours just to do my makeup.  The end result, though, was worth the effort, because I felt like a million bucks.  It’s so obvious, why girls love dressing up – it’s an unbelievable high!   Inside the club it was a sea of bodies and the costumes were amazing.  At one point, I was standing on a balcony that overlooked the dance floor.  I was nursing a cocktail and watching the crowd.  Suddenly, there was a gentleman standing next to me; I didn’t notice his approach.  He told me I looked fabulous and he offered to buy me another drink.  I declined his drink offer, but we struck up a conversation.  Being a little slow, it took me a while to realize he was hitting on me. I never imagined anyone would ever actually be attracted to Sally, which I think contributed to my cluelessness.  So, I was shocked, and initially, a little creeped out as well.  After all, I wasn't into guys, and this was new to me.  As we continued talking, and he kept throwing accolades my way, I went from being uncomfortable to actually being flattered.    The event, being an AIDS fund raiser, had me assuming this guy was hitting on me because he was gay, and he thought I was, as well.  I wanted to set the record straight, so I casually mentioned that I wasn’t gay.  To my amazement, he responded by saying: “neither am I.”  Okay, now what was I supposed to do?  I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want to send the wrong message either.  While I was trying to decide how to tell him I wasn’t interested, he asked if he could kiss me.  Not sure what I was thinking at that moment, I said “okay.”  He kissed me, and as strange as it was, I gave into it, not pulling away or disengaging.  It wasn’t a super passionate kiss, but it was more than a friendly peck on the lips, and I actually enjoyed it.  When we separated; however, I got the sense his passion had cooled.  I could only assume that my response to his kiss sent some kind of message that I wasn’t interested.    Whatever it was he picked up on, it let me off the hook, and I didn’t have to rebuff any further advances.  For this I was grateful, but at the same time, I was actually a little disappointed.  Clearly, I wasn’t going to lead him on, but it was so gratifying to know I had sparked his interest.  Despite his diminished passion, and his obvious realization I wasn’t going to be his girl, he remained the perfect gentleman.  We chatted for a few minutes more, then he gave me the nicest smile.  Again, he commented on how terrific I looked.  Then he added, “maybe I’ll see you later.”    It was hard for me to reconcile how I could have garnered the attention of a man.  In my mind’s eye, I knew my feminine presentation didn’t completely mask my birth sex, so why would a self-proclaimed straight guy actually be interested in me?  Had it been the only time something like this would happen, I would have chalked it up to random chance.  But it wouldn’t be the last time a man would hit on me.  It doesn’t happen often, but it still occurs more than I would have guessed, and I'm always surprised.    I have never asked, but I have always been curious to know my would-be suitor’s motivations.  Were they hitting on me simply because they happened to be fond of trans women, or was their attraction triggered by connecting with my inner woman?  And, however unlikely, did they mistake me for a cis woman?  I guess it really doesn’t matter much one way or the other, because ultimately, I’m not looking for any kind of a relationship.  However, I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t at least a little interested in another opportunity to get kissed.   Hugs,   Sally
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