Some Thing That May Be A Little...

[Guest bronx]

I'm an African-American Man and a Trans man secound. I know that alot of us don't like to talk about race, but the fact is that race plays a factor in how you are treated in your community as a trans person.

Talk to me.

[Guest]

I've been hearing this a lot lately in some of the Transgender Blogs. I haven't seen that happen here yet. How do you feel you are treated differently in the Transgender Community? Is the problem on sites or in face to face meetings? Is this something we can all help with? You have our full support here.

laura

[Guest Zabrak]

I'm Anglo(Caucasian)...

Like Laura said, have you noticed you've/anyone has been treated differently somewhere because of race? I sure hope not.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I live in a heavily African American populated area - New Orleans. There are as many trans in that community as there are in the next larget group - Anglo-American or 'white" - and I am in a trans-support group of the GLBT here. We have a Black MTF and FTM - we have two older White MTF, a very young White MTF, the rest are FTM - about seven, different races - many mixed. One of the FTM is white and has a Jewish/Black mix girlfriend, very nice, Masters in Anthropology at LSU - an Insructor.

Actually I had to think through all this because we are really all the same it seems. I notice more the educational levels, ages, and the income levels.

One of our Black MTF is a steet person, which is intersting. Her roommate is a White MTF, and what is strange is neither is in therapy or on HRT (legally that is - donno about illegal, probably. The Black FTM passes well and is a school teacher in computer sciences. Also does the IT work for his school.

So I don't think I can answer your question - I don't see any B-W prejudice - but its not really that way in New Orleans most places - you have to go to the subburbs.

I got fired because I am trans. I am almost a typical WASP - except Catholic.

There you go.

Lizzy

[Guest B.heard]

Im mixed race part Italian... but I cant say Ive ever felt its effected me here or within the trans thing. if Im honest Ive never thought about the subject till now but I would have hope of all people trans people would be completely accepting and respectful of all I doubt anyone Ive met here would even tolerate any sort of hateful behavior your all awesome really.

[Guest michelle.butterfly]

I'm an African-American Man and a Trans man secound. I know that alot of us don't like to talk about race, but the fact is that race plays a factor in how you are treated in your community as a trans person.

Talk to me.

Hi bronx!

I'm just a girl, no qualifiers. I believe the concept of race is flawed; but if you mean skin color then I'm pink with lots of little tan spots. I see you (and everyone) as your mind and your heart, to me the rest is just a temporary shell that says nothing about who you are inside. It just happened that my mind and heart did not match up with the shell so I'm choosing to modify it to match.

I certainly hope you don't feel I'm trying to minimize your perspective or feelings on the matter. I'm sorry that your skin color has affected how you were treated in your community; I have been very fortunate to be treated with tolerance or acceptance pretty much everywhere I have gone, so I have probably just had very different experiences than you have had.

Big hugs!

With much love,

Michelle

[Guest leo]

bronx im whats called black british over here

and you are right, i find black people are less excepting of anything that deviates from the norm

[Guest bronx]

Honestly I have never been treated any differnt here, But I do feel as though the subject is sorta taboo.

Because I am now a black man some of the things that I have gone through as a result of my transition has been confussing to me.

Coming from being a black woman to a black man is not easy.

Now I see that some people are afraid of me, and don't know how to even talk to me: Talking to me in slang like that is the english language, or even trying to relate to me on a "black " term.

When I was considered a black woman I was more sexuralized, I don't know which one makes me the most angry!

What I want to know is others view on this subject, without relating it to me directly.

Lets's just open up the dialog.

[Guest leo]

i agree bronx that is how i get treated when presenting male

[Guest Zabrak]

Well, I really can't add much to this subject. As I am a loner white boy I really haven't noticed much...the only type of problems I saw where in highschool when groups would segregate themselves. Some groups would get nasty with others for no apparent reason to me. I've never understood why with all the problems we already have in this world that we as humans have to make more with eachother - especially in places like HIGHSCHOOL.

[Guest michelle.butterfly]

Honestly I have never been treated any differnt here, But I do feel as though the subject is sorta taboo.

Well I'm glad to hear it was nothing here. I don't think it's taboo so much as just perhaps uncomfortable due to the chances of being called racist. I'm not that worried about it I suppose.

I know that dark colored skin must cause some people to act really idiotic, 'cause one time at about 2 in the morning I was sitting in my car at a 7-11 and this fellow tapped on my window. I rolled down the window to see what he wanted, and he's like "Wow. You aren't at all scared of black people are you?" I was like "No, why would I be?" and he says "I've been trying to find someone to help me for hours now, and you are the first person that rolled down their window and talked to me like a human being."

I'll omit the rest of the story here as it's not relevant to the topic at hand, but I remember being really disturbed by the fact that it was *surprising* that I would roll down my window to talk to someone. (I even gave him a ride!) So, I've only had a tangential experience with different treatment due to skin color, and that not related at all to me being in transition. It did make me painfully aware, though, that a lot of people experience things that I have never had to deal with.

Anyway, love you much!

Michelle

[Guest Pól_Eire]

As someone who is seen as a white male, I notice that people are very quick to make assumptions, like. I've talked to people who've been shocked to discover I'm not a homophobe, for example. Women tend to act a little accusing at times, as if they expect me by default to be a chauvinist. I haven't outright had anyone say to me that they assume I'm racist yet, but I think it's only a matter of time.

Sometimes it kind of comes across as reverse racism like, because sometimes I feel like whenever conversations pertaining to race come up, I'm supposed to feel really guilty, but I'm not sure I've done anything wrong. They have these mandatory diversity workshops at the beginning of the year when you're a freshman, and it kind of ended up being a bash-white-males thing because there were a few really outspoken feminists who were basically preaching the "men are evil" sermon, and there were a couple really outspoken students from non-white backgrounds who were kind of ranting about how white people are evil. It was pretty uncomfortable for the four of us or so in the room who were both white and male. I know that historically and even today there are people who are white males who do do pretty awful things. At the same time, directing anger about those things at me seems kind of unfair. It's not my fault that I'm white and male any more than it's anyone else's fault that they're the race and gender that they are. I understand that there's a lot of grievance that deserves to be aired, I just don't like being forced to sit there for four hours and be someone's target for it.

Not only does it start to seem like they're blaming me for things that I had nothing to do with, but they also assume things about me that aren't necessarily true, like that I have a lot of money or that I'm complicit in racist things. As a transman, this can be especially grating because, for some of these people anyway, I've had to deal with far more discrimination than they ever will. I'm stealth, so they can't know that, but the assumption is still makes me mad sometimes. The reaction my own father had to my coming out, as an example among many other examples, was probably a lot worse than anything any of these people have had to deal with. Before you jump down my throat for that, I'm fully aware that I can't know that, and that it's an assumption that's just as bad as theirs.

It's not completely on topic, but I'd like to mention ethnicity. I'm Irish. I was born in Ireland, raised in Ireland, my family is 100% Irish. I may be the whitest person I know (objectively speaking). I attend a university in America. It seems like every time I open my mouth, people feel the need to comment on my accent, and suddenly I'm this token curiosity. I've gotten ridiculous questions about potatoes and statements about leprechauns and other complete sh*te. I've gotten used to this, to a certain extent. My friends have gotten past it. But for the majority of people I interact with, I feel like I get taken less seriously because I 'talk funny.' It's not at all the same thing as racism, but I think the not-getting-taken-seriously part is kind of similar.

I'm stealth, so I can't really talk about race and being a transman beyond how I did above. I'm not perceived as a transman except here online and with my therapist. I haven't been home in nearly two years, so I can't really talk about race and myself as a transman in that community (also what with the recent influx of immigration, the issue of race has become a very pertinent question back home).

I think racism in online communities, such as this one, is a funny thing. Funny as in strange, not funny as in ha ha. Because you can't see the people you're talking to, race can only be identified if the user chooses to identify, whether that's through language or with pictures. I think because of this, people have a tendency to extrapolate more and make more assumptions about who they're talking to because they have less definite observations to work with.

I think I'll stop here for now. I'm still thinking about this and I may post again if I think of something else.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with this post, and if I did, it was not intentional. I can only speak about my own experiences. I'd really like to hear more from you, Bronx, if you're willing to share.

-Pól

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I agree - the subject DOES seem taboo sometimes. I have been here about four months and this is the first time I have actually seen it brought up.

Now I will admit, my background is a white male, educated, from a lower middle class family, trained as a building professional, and considered as successful in the world. I live in the South. My really first discrimination has been how I am treated as a transsexual (an abomination in the eyes of GOD by some accounts) - my employer didn't know what to do with me so they made up a flimsy excuse to get rid of me.

I don't get discriminated against because I am Anglo (White) and I an not yet discriminated against because I am a woman. NOT YET - my therapist said after my 100% transition, I would be a third class citizen (men are 1st, women are 2nd, T-women are third) and to be prepared. I can imagine what prejudices being African American (Black) might add! I don't know. I saw prejudice when I was growing up but I am a child of the 60s so I saw a lot of improvements too. I don't say it is perfect, but it seems much better now, to me, than it ever has been. That's kinda dumb-sighted I guess, but I did see some really horrible things done when I was a child, SAW in person, not on television!

And the same goes for the GLB community. Lot of changes through the years.

And now we hate the Islamic world (well more like distrust). And when I was a kid? It was those evil Communists - we weren't sure if the Russians or the Chinese were the worst.

When I was a child, I wondered if I could ever marry a black or asian woman. NOW? I wonder if I wll ever have sex with a man (any race) and I sure hope so - because I want to know what it is like.

Go figure!

But this doesn't add much to the TOPIC - maybe the younger people can work through this.

Lizzy

[Guest Drew]

it's quite sad that racism still exists in this day and age. but it does. i grew up in cincinnati, and i've noticed that there's a fair bit of blatant racism there. people being denied entry to establishments because of skin color even. in some cities there would be civil suits galore over even the slightest perceived racist comment, but a lot of the time growing up i noticed that, even by police, really blatant, offensive racism was ignored. i'm not saying that it's necessarily even a racist city, but it's gained that reputation from a number of incidents of fairly severe racism.

there's definitely still that deeply ingrained racism in a lot of individuals, which is sad. some people just aren't up for any kind of differences, at all. i suppose these things never go away.

sorry i can't provide much personal experience besides things that i've witnessed. i grew up in a fairly conservative area, so most times i was assumed to be a racist or a bigot simply because i was surrounded by them.

Drew

[Guest bronx]

So here we go, a little bit of me-

I was raised in the bronx, a mixed neaighborhood, a cathalic school.But the block that I lived in was mixed, spanish, asian, black, itallian, and irish. My mother teached in the public school not to far from where we lived. I never really had a concept of being different from anyone else.

I hit highschool and every thing got uncomfortable so to speak, Ever since then I've known that I'm black.

Growing up middle class in a diverse community was both a blessing and a lessen to be learned.

As I ventured out into the world I've met soo many people of many backgrounds and I love that. I have friends of all races and religions and also ethinic background.

What I want to know is what do you all REALLY feel about others, other from the fact that we are all transgenderd?

P.S. and what are your experiences, and have you seen for yourselves?

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Bronx,

I'm 'ethnically ambivalent' or if you like Afro-Saxon' - father Jamaican 'Afro Carribean'- Mother English 'Anglo Saxon'...Now one would think being neither [or both] would be a blessing, but having coffee coloured skin I was always seen as my father's child, being more part of the 'coloured community'...When growing up 'race' was the main obstacle that I had to overcome, my gender dysphoria was left simmering on the back burner-Daily racial taunts took their toll, name calling, jokes can have a major impact on a child's life-especially because I lived with my mother and white 'step' father in a predominantly white area of London[For quite some time I was the only mixed race kid at secondary school]

However once I fully accepted my blended racial heritage my 'gender dysphoria' started to boiled over...That was after I migrated to Australia when I was 16-[At the time 1969, they had an 'all white' immigration policy-similar to South Africa's apartheid system-not many Australians where aware that they had such a policy- it was abolished in the early 70s when a Labour got into power ],however for some reason they must have classed me as Southern European-Spanish/Italian/Greek possibly because of my olive skin...I must admit even now I 'pass' as a number of ethnicities...

To cut a long story short since affirming my true gender status I have never come across any prejudice or discrimination because of it...I now like in Aoteaora [NZ] where there are quite a number of coffee coloured skinned people around 'Polynesians'...However the weirdest thing is because of my 'cockney' accent many people see me as a somewhat curly haired tanned skinned middle aged 'pommy' woman...They often comment on my 'tan' and 'curly' hair...

I've mentioned in passed posts [on similar topics], that for many caucasian trans-women who have never experienced any prejudice because of their race, they may now be experiencing the stings of 'prejudice' being stared at in shops pointed at, ridiculed...They will no doubt become more and more aware of/empathise with all minority groups, who have experienced prejudice and discrimination-who run the 'social gauntlet' on a daily bases...

I must add that at Laura's I've not been aware of any predjudice toward race/ethnicity by any of the members, but no doubt, it's still there lurking in the minds of some - a cultural inheritance from family, friends and local community...

Metta Jendar

[Guest Evan_J]

Ok, you had me goin for a minute. I read the first post and was like "oh lawd, somebody done got this boy twisted" LOL.

But I'm glad that's not so.

Hmmm race and being trans. The "main" (if there is one) difference I can see for minority (not just "black", minority)trans peeps as opposed to "middle class, caucasian" trans peeps lies right in that word; class. Or more exactly economic class and how it will affect your transition. Poor is poor though. And anybody can be it . ALTHOUGH (lol) black peeps definition of "poor" and white peeps definition of "poor" can be different depending on who you ask.

I have experienced it having an impact on how people relate to me though (or how "comfortabe") they are or aren't on other sites though. I've more than several times had peeps have this "fantastic" interaction with me then post the pic and the interactions are "different" or "not as free" as they prior were. And I gotta give it to the playground, this is actually the first site where that never happened. In truth (and this'll rock the socks of the "suit" lovers ) initially, when I joined, it was the reason I chose a photo with an "unclearly seen" face. To see how people acted. But like I said, the playground rose way above that.

I will go ahead (since we're puttin it all out there Bronx lol) go for it and mention that along the way I did take note of the "phenomenon" that often African American members of this site, when I frist arrived, rarely posted self pictures as AVs. At that time, you would have thought there were all of two or maybe three African American members to this site. I have to think its because of that same "things become different" experience other places. Yes, I notice things like that . And I'll admit that noticing it, and then seeing -on the profile page, hearing in the pm, all those things- its one of the reasons I've taken sometimes "an extra minute or two" to converse with those people as I met them. To realize that the location was "an ok place to black" I think has put a "truer" face on the forum however much.

Now, all the "life in the context of how you'll be treated as a black man stuff".....c'mon Bronx, it wasn't a walk in park being black whatever sex you were lol. Although, granted, you are "mr evil until proven innocent". I dunno. Maybe I 've seen both the "black disadvantage" and "male advantage" in enough amounts that at least for the moment its 6 of one and a half dozen of the other. Then again, I'm in the north. And that does make a diffence.

I do know, as a black woman there was a LOT of leeway on things that as a black man you have to have your ^$*# together.

At the same time, in certain arenas, its infinately easier being a man. But that's where its preferable to be a male of ANY race.

As for the "fear" thing (being feared) I know that's there. On the rare occasions when I've been in kind of the "baggy track suit" type look then I see it. So its a combination of not just race but race and sterotype of style. When I'm not dressed like that then I actually get a lot of "heat" (negative kind) eminating from black females where I live (whats up with that?) like I did something "evil" lol.

The rest of the time though I just worry about not responding too much to either set of females advances lol I figure that many women are not lookin for a transguy and no reason to get into uncalled for "bovine manure"

[Sally]

Wow, I stepped out for a minute and all of this happens.

Bronx, I just would like to tell you that I don't like the part that race plays in anything, I like to think of people as people and all of them good until proven otherwise.

This approach has cost me some money in business deals that have 'gone South' - living here in the South I should object to that term and make everyone stop using it - that's how we use political correctness to perpetuate the problems.

To quote Mr. Spok, "It is the purpose of diplomacy to prolong a crisis."

The South is always pictured as being a hotbed of racism, while in fact a lot of the bigotry in the US is in the North, we all seem to have our equal share of idiots.

It was a restaurant in Annapolis, Maryland (near our nation's capitol - a little bit North too) where a black family was refused service just a few years ago.

When my Aunt was planning her wedding in the mid forties her Mother in law to be came down from Pittsburgh, PA to stay during part of the planning and would not eat any food that was prepared by their wonderful house-keeper/cook because she was black - she was also too proud to take money for which she did not work so she and her family had 10 days with no income, sweet! (My mother and the house keeper's daughter played together all of the time and were best friends for almost ten years until they moved.)

Racism knows no bounds, it thrives in ignorance and that is our problem.

It is almost an awakening to what others have dealt with as we cross the gender lines - I have been told about all of the privilages that I have had as a white male (I am really white - glow in the dark Irish!), but as a poor white male the privilages are fewer but as a tall white male there is a respect given upon meeting that I am told I will lose as a tall white woman, OK - stupid but I can live with that.

You have noticed that thee is a fear of you as a black man, this is just from ignorance, you are in no way more menacing than you were as a black woman, but then you were a sexual object - now you are to be feared, did you grow several feet in stature, did you sprout muscles like Arnold - no, but people of ignorance know that all black men are heavily armed and only exist to kill white people.

With that attitude equality and acceptence are still so far away, but take heart you live in Tecas now and the attention is being turnes to illegal aliens who are 'trying to turn us into a part of Mexico again' - so the ignorant hate and fear indicator is turning slowly away from you.

I am in the world's most silent minority - the common sense, we are all just people approach - I hope someday that we will be able to speak louder than the hate groups and become the majority ending all of racism forever.

Sorry for the rant, but I don't judge pople and I don't let the color of their skin or their last names determine how I treat them or who I have as friends and people who do irratate me.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jackson]

The South is always pictured as being a hotbed of racism, while in fact a lot of the bigotry in the US is in the North, we all seem to have our equal share of idiots.

I waited for a while to kind of think about this a little before posting, but of course, I got distracted so you're getting an off-the-cuff opinion.

I wanted to emphasize what Sally did say about bigotry/prejudice having geographic boundaries. Historically, even one-hundred fifty years ago, there was a lot of prejudice in the North. Like historians say, history is written by the winner and therefore, it is not mentioned much.

From my own point of view, like Sally and being of pasty white Irish descent, I don't judge anyone until I know them. The only difference, I see, between someone of a different race than I, is that someone else has a better tan than I do. And that is it. Online, I personally don't care what other people look like. Even if someone sported purple polka dots, it really doesn't mean anything.

I have caught some flack here in the North for belonging to a Confederate Civil War reenacting unit. But I joined only because my family is from the South and I am trying to teach people not to forgot what so many people died for.

What can I say? I am an eternal optimist when it comes to people. I believe the best in people until they prove otherwise.

[Guest Zabrak]

Can I ask something that might sound really stupid? I don't mean to insult anyone. I'm just a loner so blaim it on that.

Why are people specifically scared of african descended people? I'm scared of any person larger then me, background doesn't matter. Any human can be dangerous.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

I'm an African-American Man and a Trans man secound. I know that alot of us don't like to talk about race, but the fact is that race plays a factor in how you are treated in your community as a trans person.

Talk to me.

Hey bronx!!

I don't care what your heritage is!! I don't think anyone here does either!! You are very important!! Never forget that!! Maybe you have had some bad experiences in your past (we all have) and maybe some of them are race related. Know this my dear, race is not relevant here!!

Only gender identity is!! ;-)

LOL

bernie

[Guest CharlieRose]

Do any of you guys watch Jon Stewart? There was an episode of it where he talked with his "senior black correspondent" (for those who don't know, they're a politically oriented comedy show that comments on current events. They skewer a lot of things and people, for example, political correctness in the media industry. The joke with the "senior black correspondent" is that all news shows, which they sort of are/pretend to be, tend to have at least one black correspondent, and they're poking at the quota/affirmative action-ness of that)

But anyways, I think they were talking about Prop 8 and how some people were pointing out that African-Americans voted for it in very high proportions. (Which, by the way, I think is a stupid thing to point out/categorize. Like, what, "the blacks" took away gay rights? They all ganged up together like they do and planned to unite against us? No, SOME people voted for it, SOME voted against it in a variety of races for a variety of reasons, duh.) Sorry, off topic again. Anyways, the correspondent (I don't remember his name, I don't watch the correspondents that much) basically said that being gay was a "white" thing. (He was joking of course, it's a comedy show.) And Jon was like "But... there are gay black people!" And he was just like, "Uh... no."

It was really funny, for the joking aspect, but it's a sort of interesting jab at how we view (or don't view) queer black people. Because, obviously they do exist. I know a few, in person as well as on here. But they don't get ANY sort of publicity or general recognition. I think, subconsciously at least, the general American/British/Canadian public does think of being gay as a "white" thing. Like, I dunno, how I once heard someone say that being depressed was a "rich people" thing. (Again, not that that's true, but... some people do think stuff like that)

I've never noticed any discrimination or different treatment, in this community or the others I'm in, I suppose because we actually do realize that there really are queer people from ALL walks of life, poor, rich, hispanic, asian, black, etc. We're here to see that those preconcieved notions aren't true. Others aren't, I guess. Like if the only gay people you know of are Ellen DeGeneres and Elton John... or the only trans people you know are... no one. I dunno, maybe Divine or someone like that, the concept wouldn't really be on your radar, would it?

It's a type of stereotype, only in reverse. Rather than expecting something, people might not expect it.

It's weird, and I really wonder why that is. Although it might be kind of pretentious for me to even try to answer my question, 'cause I'm not black, I'm hispanic and white, and I don't really know anything about what it's like to be black. *sigh* America's complicated history with African descendants has really muddled a lot of stuff up, though, I'm pretty aware of that.

[Guest bronx]

It is true that racism is trated differently in the north compared to the south.

Growing up in New York there is this illusion that racism doesn't exist, when it does it just seems to be very subtle. You really don't know what people are thinking so I've leaned to read body language very well. Also in New York people look at where you live, and what your economic status is.

When I was percieved as a black woman in NY, I could get a cab pretty fast, provided I was dressed okay. When I started to present as a male I could no longer get a cab. No matter how well dressed I was. Infact the cabs would go right by me and pick up a white person standing just a few steps away. When I did finally get a cab some would ask me for the money upfront.

Now I live in the south it it has been a culture shock. Down here It's all against the Mexicans and the Muslims. Go figure.

B4 I transitioned I had no idea that my status would change, and that not only do people react to me as a male, but now as a black male, asking questions like do I listen to rap music?

I wanted to but this subject out there, to talk about how all of us, after we transition, that our status will change depending on two factors: Race first, and then Gender.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Hey, this is a cool and thought-provoking topic!! I'm sorry I didn't get to get in on this sooner, but I've been tied up with school stuff. Unfortunately, I am going to continue to be tied up with school stuff until the end of summer.

I don't know a whole lot about race issues personally. I've lived in a pretty insulated environment for most of my life, so I haven't had a lot of opportunity to make observations first hand. Also, my transition isn't all that far along, so I don't have much personal experience to draw from either. In my case, I'm going from being a middle class Caucasian woman to being a middle class Caucasian man. With middle class Caucasian women, I feel like the predominant stereotypes are that they are weak, shallow, materialistic, and are viewed as having very little power. They are supposed to be quiet, make nice, smile, and be polite. Don't rock the boat! In contrast, middle class Caucasian men are viewed as being strong and have traditionally held a position of power in American culture.

Right now, I have this internal conflict going on. For years I have had this nagging feeling like Caucasian men are the enemy. They are the once that "we" are fighting against. They are the very symbol of mainstream political power. When I think of an older, southern, Caucasian man, I think of some conservative guy that goes to church on Sundays, hates "the gays", likes his wife and children to "submit and obey", watches football, votes republican, and who has never experienced anything remotely like discrimination. He is literally embodies social power. This is obviously a stereotype that I hold. It's just as nasty and unfair as any other stereotype.

Eventually I'm going to look like that stereotype. People will likely see ME as that guy. I might even benefit from that appearance. Although I am a raging liberal and Atheist, I am quite obviously southern and Caucasian...and hopefully I'll eventually look obviously male. I don't WANT to benefit from looking this way. I don't want to promote the status quo.

My only experiences so far have been that Caucasian guys, people that know me and my past, have started acting a little like I've been "saved" from something. It seems like I've joined a new club or something. It is very odd to me.

This is my internal conflict. It isn't going to stop me from transitioning, but it still makes me pretty uncomfortable to think about. I'm used to being the underdog. I'm used to speaking out against "the man". Now I'm worried that people won't take me seriously anymore when I do it.

Here's another weird thing. I'm so used to experiencing discrimination. I'm used to people expecting me to smile and make nice, then getting to smash those assumptions by being loud and opinionated...by wearing men's clothes and not being sorry. Now I'm afraid that I'll be seen as acting "the way I'm supposed to" and it seriously bothers me.

Am I making any sense?

Okay...now it's time for me to skedaddle. Even right now, as I hover over the "add reply" button, I feel kind of embarrassed about the combination of my race and gender, just in a different way than I'm used to.

[Guest mia 1]

Well now that we have and African American President in the U.S. I have a different attitude about Black People I used to judge Black people on how far they climbed up the ladder of success in this prejudiced society...and wherever the Black people were I always thought "Give them credit for achieving any thing in a country that has had slaves and until 1964 weer legally discriminated against and now so and so is head of a Fortune 500 company or my buddy finished college or that guy/gal is surviving and I'm so glad for him/her.

But now we have a President of the U.S. and he is Black and Holy Cow there is the pinnacle of success in America and what is left...African Americans are at the highest point and I'm just a retired salesman God Bless the United States Of America for doing something right......And God bless you Bronx for being what you became through a lot of hardships and adversity...Hope I got this thread right.......Mia