The Marcie Chronicles

[Dakota16]

Awesome! I'm glad it went well!

[MarcieMarie12]

I am to Dakota.

 

Well I should really just accept the fact that I am passing. today I went to a local restaurant to pick up my take out (chicken alfreado--yumm, bad Marcie!!!) and I have done this occasionally before transitioning at work. The cashier knew me and I had have small talk with her. So I get there and she doesn't recognize me, genders me female. Well, I guess I'll be back sooner and should not have worried about it in the least. 

[Dakota16]

I'm nowhere close to passing yet. One of my biggest worries is having someone see right through Dakota and call me sir when I start going out as the woman I'm morphing into.

[MarcieMarie12]

My first time was with a friend. It really helped to calm my nerves about being out. I learned a lot from her, and the fact that most people are too wrapped up in their own stuff to pay attention (if you aren't passing as well as you'd like). Also, you are your own worse critic--so getting together with a good friend to see what areas need improvement would also be super helpful.

[Charlize]

I agree with you here Marcie.  Most of my early forays into the world were with a good girlfriend who simply saw no reason for anyone to worry about how others saw her or me.  Nobody seemed to care and those who did never caused a scene.  As confidence built so did my ability to move without fear.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

I had to run to Home Depot yesterday.  I had one of "his" tee shirts on but with capris and sneakers and my hair was down.  A guy there that I know well asked if I needed help.  When I replied that I didn't, he just said have a good evening and walked away.  He didn't recognize me, otherwise he would have asked about my wife (who he knows) and my truck (he has a similar one).  I know I'm changing, much more than I imagined. 

Jani 

[tracy_j]

Good but scary Jani, that is if he does not know about your transition.

Maybe you will now be feeling guilty and worried about your next encounter whether in male or female mode. I know it is something I would think about. Well you already have the answer to that with your 'Everything will be Ok in the end.'

These little things which we get used to, making life interesting .

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

I was on vacation last week (first time for Marcie) and had a great time. Didn't have any issues using the bathroom either at VA beach or bush gardens. Just got treated like the woman I am. Below are some of the pictures:

 

• Jamie and I at dinner the 1st day there!!
• The whole party minus Kendra!My Girlfriend Jamie! A few weeks before the trip.My boyfriend Jamie and I on the beach!A selfie, on one of the boats at Jamestown.Me, Kendra, Kim and Tony on the beach. Me pretending to fire a cannon at Jamestown.On the beach being elegant (trying to!!!) At bush gardens, no make-up!!

 

[Briana]

Awesome!  Looks like all of you had a lot of fun. 

[tracy_j]

Nice set of pictures Marcie

Tracy

 

[Charlize]

Such sweet pictures!  i'm smiling because of your smile.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

Well you guys should smile too, you all helped me get here!!!

 

 

[Guest AshleighP]

Nice pictures! Thanks for sharing them and I'm glad vacation went well. I recognize one of those pics by the way.?

[MarcieMarie12]

This last weekend was a lot of fun. I went to the Renaissance festival in MD, had a great time looking at stuff. Bought some stuff for an eventual medieval outfit too (a bodice and a leather pouch)!! The rest is coming in on Amazon.  Yes Jamie, my boyfriend was there. He drove, I hate driving…..have I ever mentioned that before? Saw some of the shows and then ate some mac and cheese on a stick and some other junk food. That evening went out to a party that one of the trans groups holds and got caught up with some of the girls I had not seen all summer.

 

The next day was my birthday, my 1^st birthday, not my second birthday—which I decided is January 13^th when I started HRT. We went out for Peking Duck (at a place called Peking Duck)!! One of my favorite foods—btw.

I’m off to see my ex tonight for dinner at red robin and get my free birthday burger.

 

[MarcieMarie12]

Went to the OB/GYN foor the first time last wednesday. Once my gender switched on their system, I was flagged for a breast exam and pap smear. Got to love computers! So the pap smear was out (or would be very interesting if they tried) as I am pre-op. So I get there have the first question from the nurse, when did I have my last period. I was really happy to be asked that. Then said, never, there's a story there. Anyway got my blood pressure checked, flu shot, and learned how to do breast exams on myself. Breast cancer is still a concern!!

That night I spent 4 hours with my hairdresser (Jamie came too, got his done as well) getting my hair done (got it colored and trimmed of dead ends).She is awesome!! Here is a pic after we got done:

 

 

 

[tracy_j]

I love the hair!

Fantastic pic. You make a lovely couple

Tracy x

 

[Charlize]

What a cute couple.  Love the color and the smile makes it even better!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

Well it has been a year since I started transitioning--going by when I started this thread. Is it what I expected? I would say that is the wrong question to ask--simply I did not know what to expect. If I met my past self, that person would probably not believe me.

I took things day by day until out at work. Once there it was a great relief. Out to everybody that knows me. I found the anxiety was mostly having to hide this, rather than whatever reaction  I got. Work was wonderful about it, my friends are ok with it (still getting used to the name and pronouns), and I 've made some new friends in the process. Family was the only sore spot. My brothers (never that talkative to begin with) stopped communicating. My mom is the only person who has ever insulted me for being trans. My dad though, he tries to understand me. My dad and I get together every once in a while. It is pleasant and he helps me keep up with the rest of the family since they don't talk to me. My brother out in Arizona has called and we have talked a couple of times though. He is uncomfortable with it, but at least he called.

The real question I think is if my transition is doing what I hoped it would do. What I hoped it would do for me was bring me inner peace and happiness and remove my depression. What it did was let me know what happiness can really feel like---I was always fundamentally emotionally dulled(for lack of a better word). Pre-transition I felt like I had emotions  but they were muffled. In some sense it did make true happiness possible, whereas before it was like the shadow of happiness.

I also lost the lethargy and introversion that plagued me. I now look forward to and need to be around others all the time. I don't I have to convince myself to  be sociable so as to not get depressed. I want to be sociable. Not a weekend goes by without something going on in my life and I love it. I even met another MTF (who's transition path is way different than mine). We started dating--we are moving in together soon!

In the end, did transition accomplish what I had hoped? Yes it did. Going back to my past self I would only say the following: "Don't be afraid, you won't regret transitioning."

 

[Cyndee]

That's a very nice update Marcie, I enjoyed catching up with this thread. I totally agree with your quote " I found the anxiety was mostly having to hide this, rather than whatever reaction  I got ".

It's nice to solve things, to live free of that burden.

Best wishes with you and your new roomie.

Hugs

Cyndi -

[Jani]

Marcie, it appears your life has taken a nice turn and that is great.  I'm sorry about your Mom and brother but we can't always predict how these things go.  At least your Dad is communicating with you and it seems that's going well.  Congratulations on a year full of surprises and change!

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

Just a quick update, I spent the weekend at the Renaissance festival, attended a birthday party, slept in on Sunday, got a costume for Halloween, and lastly got a nice necklace from my Jamie!!   I've never gotten jewelry from someone before...... guess Jamie really likes me!!!

 

[Guest AshleighP]

Lovely picture! You look so happy. 

[Kendra Chelsea]

 

 

Quote

Just a quick update, I spent the weekend at the Renaissance festival, attended a birthday party, slept in on Sunday, got a costume for Halloween, and lastly got a nice necklace from my Jamie!!   I've never gotten jewelry from someone before...... guess Jamie really likes me!!!

What a beautiful person and as you already know you have an amazing Jamie. it was the first time I actually watched more than 2 shows!!!

[Briana]

Very nice.  And nice pic too.  A little "innocent wench-like" ye young renaissance lady. 

[MarcieMarie12]

1 hour ago, Kendra Chelsea said:

What a beautiful person and as you already know you have an amazing Jamie. it was the first time I actually watched more than 2 shows!!!

Yes, she is a great cook too. Though I do want to cook for her sometimes too! I am not as good as she is. I do think if we go to Renfest next year we do same thing--I can make a plan and stick to it, unlike my diet plan on the weekend.